Nuværende version fra 1. dec 2011, 08:00

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES

The ruling passion, be it what it will,

the ruling passion conquers reason still.

--- Alexander Pope

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,

Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

--- Shakespeare

Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest

man, and renders the greatest fools clever.

--- La Rouchefoucauld

She weaves the winding-sheets of souls, and lays

them in the urn of everlasting death.

--- Pollok

PREFACE

Most everybody has had a character come in contact with a person of the opposite sex, but the encounter was nothing more than the brief statement: "I'll have sex with the fair lass and leave". This leaves out a lot of exciting role playing that can turn into a lot of humorous anecdotes. What if one of the involved people can't "perform"? What about getting a disease? Getting pregnant? Spells? Magic-Items? Classes? But where could a player find a could source of information?

On a RPG discussion list (an electronic mail forum for RPGs), a person posted rules for characters to have sex. I though that this was quite clever and a little demented. Well, just having a few sex rules didn't seem to useful except for its comic appeal so I made some diseases and insanities to make it more interesting. I thought I had a pretty nice guide so I requested some help on the list for people to look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very incomplete as suggestions for more sections started pouring in. Well, over a few months ideas, comments, criticisms, and additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to correspond to these people. By far the best thing to come out of this guide was the useful information on pregnancy which was much needed for most RPGs.

I saw some successful guides created by another list member, so I asked if I could mimic his organizational style and other key elements like the title, copyright, preface, quoting, etc.. We are both hoping that this style will be used in other works to bring some type of unity to all net-guides. Eventually, this final product was reached.

This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light and fun. Although some things may be considered perverse, it was created in an jocular fashion. The intent isn't to offend or disgust it is only to enhance the game. This guide is so extensive that there should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just throw it away (it's not like you had to pay for it or something). I'm sure that companies have plans to publish there own guide <yeah, right>.

For the most part, the information enclosed will have been play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign.

This material is the fruit of labor from a few great people of the Internet. Although some material is my own, it is not all my own. Most of the material was submitted from others, and I merely edited it. Also, many people inspired much of the guide. Plus, they made a considerable amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms. Acknowledgment to these people is given in the Special Thanks section of this guide.

I prefer that this guide is not mass distributed. This is a very extensive supplement that few deserve. Most criticized, mocked, and scorned me and my comrades while creating it. Only people who are helpful, creative, and appreciative deserve to view this guide. Therefore, be wise and selective when distributing it and don't give it to every Tom, Dick, and Conan.

For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is unchanged. Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for RPGs.

The Guide Creator

P.S.

Much criticism has been aimed at this guide because of its topics. Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play. Some feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more tables.

I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will prevent these things to happen. Having the rules allows the GM to ensure that the character suffers, but fairly. Of course the player must still role-play, but now he will know what abilities are effected. On the same note, I find that tables give the characters something to work with instead of just saying something is happening. The character still must role-play. It just helps to give the players some direction. Being free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing isn't right. RPGs have many rules and to criticize rules that others make isn't fair. Why not criticize the combat system, spell casting, and such? You could say that the limitations put on spells hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish with dramatic spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My point is that some rules are to much, but using certain ones that you like at the right time will enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with.

However, I do feel that some rules are encumbersome. I didn't care for the sex rules in this guide and haven't used them, but some people do and that is fine. The conception rules I feel are useful because characters find out if they are pregnant randomly (for females) without the GM deciding. Because when the GM decides, the character assumes (with good reason) that the pregnancy occurred for some dastardly plot reason.

There are many types of players around, some like rules others don't. I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask for. I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I like. I make available what people want and suggest.

I would like to quote a friend, Morgan, who seems to say it all about people's complaints:

"I think all those that complain that guides are too strict or difficult to

roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of the game, i.e. following

the rules to the letter. I suppose someone ought to mention that what

you're doing is creating guides for those who want to have a bit more

realism in certain situations, not creating rules that MUST be played. In

general, I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which

can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for

collecting all of this stuff."

GUIDE GAME MECHANICS

The rules presented are intended for any RPG. Because of the variance between games, the mechanics used in this guide are explained here.

The guide uses eight attributes for a character. These attributes are as followed:

Physical Strength - physical power.

Intelligence - knowledge and wit.

Wisdom - judgement and common sense.

Constitution - heartiness and "spirit".

Charisma - allure, charm, and leadership.

Dexterity - prowess and quickness.

Luck - fortune and fate.

Attractiveness - comeliness and physical looks.

Number references to attributes use the 3 to 18 scale which is common among RPGs. Some RPGs use a percentile scale for attributes, if this is desired merely multiple the number listed by 5.56 to get the percentage.

Most systems have some system for characters to get out or save themselves from dangerous situations. Systems vary but the following categories are used here:

paralyzation, poison, death magic, demon/deity power and other really nasty

stuff.

rod, staff, wand, and other powerful magic-items (no artifacts).

petrifaction, polymorph, and other magics that severely alter the body.

breath weapon and other powerful natural attacks.

spells, and other common magical effects.

Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level accordingly.

A sub-class is a standard class that provides more specific detail. The sub-class sections have the following info:

Introduction/Description/Role - Information.

Qualifications - Requirements.

Specialty - Another name for the class.

Preferred Schools/Barred Schools - For clerics and mages, these are the

magic schools. There are a variety of schools in many systems so the most

popular ones are used here. Schools are necromancy, alteration,

enchantment, invocation, evocation, conjuring/summoning/thaumaturgy,

illusion, deviation, abjuration.

Chosen Disciplines/Sciences/Devotions - Most psionics in RPGs are broken

down into a hierarchy of powers. In this guide devotions are the powers at

the bottom.

Secondary Skills - Other abilities.

Weapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for weapons.

Nonweapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for non-weapon abilities.

Equipment - Suggested and banned equipment.

Special Benefits/Special Hindrances - The mechanics that make the sub-

class.

Wealth Options - Monetary information.

Races - Races allowed.

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THE WILD-THING RULES

(There's one in every bunch!)

NOTE: These rules are not necessarily suppose to be taking seriously. If anything, they are provided for your amusement. It seems people will make rules for anything. Before throwing this guide a way because of this section, you might want to read the whole guide and then only throw out sections like this one. And if you keep sections like this one, you may want to seek counseling :)

There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he/she wants to engage in the act of sex. Unfortunately, most RPG rule books avoid the subject for obvious reasons. A player rolls dice from pottery to dancing, so why not sex.

At first glance, it may seem that a character can have sex for quite a long time. This is true for player characters. They have superior attributes and thus can perform better (that's why they're great adventurers). However, an average character would have attributes between 9-12. Using the below rules, an average character (10 or 11 in all attributes) could go a minimum of 10 or 11 minutes (rounds) and might be able to go an additional 10 or 11 minutes if very, very luck (dice deities willing, but don't bet on it).

Some GMs may feel that certain races should be more adept at sex than others. Many arguments can be made for every race. The one race that most people feel should have modifiers is the dwarf race. However, since theses rules are based on constitution and since initial character generation gives bonus or penalties to Constitution (dwarves get +1), it is not necessary to give additional modifiers to race.

The following is the steps to go through to see if a character can continue having sex:

1) A character can initially last a minimum of rounds equal to his/her Constitution with certain modifiers. Table 1 lists modifiers to Constitution by dexterity (remember: it's how you use it). Table 2 lists modifiers to Constitution by strength (gotta be able to keep up). Table 3 lists modifiers to Constitution by the partner's Charisma (charismatic partners really enhance sex, even if their Attractiveness isn't high). If he/she wishes to continue, then he/she must make Constitution checks (Step 2).

2) After the initial rounds pass, the character must make a Constitution check for each round he/she wishes to continue. Modifiers to this check are from Table 1 and Table 2 And Table 3, plus cumulative modifier of -1. The character also needs to make a time to climax (TTC) check. A 1 on a 1d6 for males and a 1 on a 1d10 for women indicates such an occurrence. An additional TTC roll is made and a result of 1 indicates multiple orgasms (keep rolling while 1s come up). Of course, males could have trouble continuing after this, but the player can make such decisions.

3) A failed check means the character lost interest for whatever reason.

NOTE: In most cases it take two to tango, so remember to keep track of all participates.

Table 1: Dexterity Modifier

A. Score Modifier

03-05 -4 <-- not much fun

06-08 -2

09-12 0

13-15 +2

16-18 +4 <-- someone could get hurt

Table 2: Strength Modifier

A. Score Modifier

03-05 -4 <-- wears out easily

06-08 -2

09-12 0

13-15 +2

16-18 +4 <-- nasty

Table 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier

A. Score Modifier

03-05 -4

06-08 -2

09-12 0

13-15 +2

16-18 +4

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INTER-SPECIES FERTILITY

Amongst races, there are four varying breeding relationships listed in Table A.

TABLE A: Relationships

Relationship Example

Identical human vs. human

Similar human vs. elf, human vs. halfling

Related human/horse vs. centaur, human/elf vs. half-elf

Different human vs. eagle, human vs. horse

Whether or not two individuals can produce offspring depends on the relationship and conditions given in Table B.

TABLE B: Relationships Based on Conditions

Relationship: Identical

Additional Requir.: None

Chance of Fertility: As normal

Result: As per race

Relationship: Similar

Additional Requir.: None

Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races

Result: Half breed

Relationship: Related

Additional Requir.: None

Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races

Result: Produce pure breed of the race the size of the female (see below)

Relationship: Different

Additional Requir.: Magical or divine intervention

Chance of Fertility: 0% (without intervention) or 100% (with)

Result: Produce a new race that may be fertile and breed true

Size (of the creature you filthy minded churl) may play a part in some crossbreeds. For example, in human/horse/centaur pairings. The result depends, in part, on the physical size of the parents. Consult Table C.

TABLE C: Size

Relationship Race of Father Race of Mother Race of child

Similar Human (Elf) Elf (Human) Half-elf

Related Human (Half-elf) Half-elf (Human) Human or Half-elf

Related Elf (Half-elf) Half-elf (Elf) Elf or Half-elf

Different Human Horse Centaur (with interv.)

Different Horse Human None (or a dead woman)

Related Human (Centaur) Centaur (Human) Human

Related Horse (Centaur) Centaur (Horse) Horse

There is one interesting exception, humans and halflings. While they are fertile with each other, such a pairing will only produce one or the other race. This may be because they are so similar that there can be no half breed race. Consult Table Cb.

TABLE Cb: Halfling-Human Size

Relationship Race of Father Race of Mother Race of child

Similar Human Halfling Halfling

Similar Halfling Human Halfling or Human

For some specific races, the relationships are given on Table D.

TABLE D: Specific Races

Race Relationship Examples

Centaur Similar None

Related Horse, Human.

Different Most other races

Elf Identical Elf (all varieties)

Similar Human

Related Drider

Different Most other races

Half-elf Similar None

Related Elf, Human

Different Most other races

Human Similar Elf, Halfling, Ogre, Orc (and variations)

Related Centaur, Half-elf, Half-orc, Minotaur, Satyr

Different Most other races

On the specific case of and elf and a centaur use the following suggested rules:

- Elves and centaurs relate as "different", therefore there is no fertility without intervention.

- Elves are "similar" to humans who are "related" to centaurs, but this two part relationship still translates into "different".

These rules are not complete but hopefully gives the GM a good base to develop specific rules for inter-species breeding.

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CONCEPTION: WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

Sure characters screw around, but it never seems like they get anybody pregnant or get pregnant themselves unless on a whim of the GM. UNTIL NOW! Below is a very simple system to make the decision fairly.

To start, get the base chance for each character (Table 1) that participated in sex and add the appropriate Constitution modifiers (Table 2). Then roll percentile dice for each person. A successful roll indicates fertility. If both are fertile than conception has occurred. Of course, this assumes that both characters are of compatible race and are at age where conception can occur (GM's judgment), and it is the female's fertile time of the month. Some GM's may allow all races to reproduce offspring. Other GMs may limit which races can breed together. This decision should remain that of individual GMs, but suggestions are given in the previous section.

Table 1: Base Chance

Base

Race Chance

Dwarf 22%

Elf 13%

Gnome 20%

Half-Elf 54%

Halfling 50%

Human 77%

NOTE: The maximum age for each race was divided by 100. This number was divided into 100% to get the base chance (fractions rounded). This gives an accurate representation of how fertile an overall race is. If a GM wishes to add more races, all that would be needed is the maximum age of that race.

Table 2: Constitution modifiers

A. Score Modifier

03-05 -6%

06-08 -4%

09-10 -2%

11-12 +2%

13-15 +4%

16-18 +6%

PROTECTION FROM PREGNANCY

The base chance can be reduced by half if the popular technique of coitus interruptus (pulling out by the male). The male must make an ability check against (Wisdom+Dexterity)/2 where Wisdom is the willpower required to stop the fun when it gets better and Dexterity is the quickness to accomplish the mission. Only if the check is made will the chance be reduced (even if successful there is always the chance of pregnancy).

Natural condoms made of various materials could be commonly used. These include condoms made with vegetable fibers or animal tissue which would be quite rare and expense (around 10 silver pieces). Such condoms would only be effective in preventing pregnancy 25% of the time. Another option would be to lower the chance of pregnancy by 75%.

AGE

Some may argue that age should play an important role in fertility, but age isn't represented in these rules. However, Constitution plays a role in fertility and Constitution is used here. A character's Constitution fluctuates because of age in most RPGs. Thus, age is taken into consideration because of Constitution changes due to age. To make any more modifiers would be double jeopardy.

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PREGNANCY IN A RPG?

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LENGTH OF PREGNANCY

With mammals, gestation period is usually dependent on size. Instead of making things complicated, size is not dependant on gestation in these rules but rather maximum age. This will be explained after Table 1.

Table 1 lists the length of pregnancy for each race. Also, it lists the duration of each stage of the pregnancy. The length of each stage is given as well. Half-elf pregnancies could last as long as 24 months or as little as 9 months depending on how much human or elf the unborn child is. The number given is for GMs who don't want to bother with complicated inter-racial percentages.

TABLE 1: Pregnancy

Total Length Duration of

Race of Pregnancy Each Stage

Elf 24 months 2 months 20 days

Gnome 16 months 1 months 24 days

Dwarf 15 months 1 months 20 days

Halfling 7 months 0 months 24 days

Human 9 months 1 month 0 days

Half-Elf 12 months 1 months 10 days

NOTE: The length of pregnancy was derived from the assumption that an elf's pregnancy lasts 24 months and that the elves life span is 750 years. 750 divided by 24 yields the number 31.25. 31.25 was then divided into the life spans of all races to get the length of pregnancy with the exception of humans. Since human pregnancy in an RPG can have real-world basis, the length is given as 9 months. 14.44 (derived from dividing 130 by 9) could have been used rather than 31.25 but the 31.25 is based on the fantasy elf race and so that number was used for the other fantasy races. GMs may alter the list as they wish.

TWINS OR BETTER

For those GM's who want to add a little spice to the pregnancy, Table 1b gives the chance of more than one child being born based on race. For example, a human has a 1 in 10 chance of having twins while a dwarf has a 1 in 100,000 chance of having twins. This can also be interrupted as 1 in 10 humans having twin sibling while 1 in 100,000 dwarfs have a twin sibling.

These chances are only suggestions and GMs may adjust the table as he sees fit for his campaign.

TABLE 1b: Chance of more than one child

Race Twin Trip Quad Quint Sex

Human 10 100 1,000 10,000 100,000

Halfling 100 1,000 10,000 100,000 1,000,000

Half-Elf 500 5,000 5,000 50,000 500,000

Elf 1,000 10,000 100,000 1,000,000 n/a

Gnome 10,000 100,000 1,000,000 n/a n/a

Dwarf 100,000 1,000,000 n/a n/a n/a

STAGES OF PREGNANCY

Each stage of pregnancy is listed below with the effects that the pregnant character will suffer. Refer to the effects section for specifics. Elf pregnancies are quite nice and comfortable. Therefore, GMs may forgo certain unpleasant effects for pregnant elves.

1st Stage

- Check for mood swings at 55% chance.

- Check for morning sickness (20%).

- Lower constitution by 1 because of increased fatigue.

2nd Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 65% chance.

- Check for morning sickness (25%).

- Lower constitution by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to constitution

because of increased fatigue.

- Increase in urination output.

3rd Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 75% chance.

- Check for morning sickness (30%).

- Danger during spell-casting.

- Increase in urination output.

4th Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.

- Check for morning sickness (10%).

- Noticeable weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race.

- Food cravings: Friends may be sent on wild treks to find exotic food to

curb the pregnant women's cravings.

- Lower dexterity by 1 due to loss of agility.

- Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer a -5%.

- +5% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

5th Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.

- Check for morning sickness (05%).

- Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race.

- Food cravings.

- Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to dexterity because

of lack of agility.

- Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an additional -5%.

- +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

6th Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 25% chance.

- Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. Adjustment to armor

size is likely and probably expensive.

- Food cravings.

- Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -3 to dexterity because

of lack of agility.

- Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an added -1d10%.

- +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

7th Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.

- Check for backache.

- Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -4 to dexterity because

of lack of agility.

- Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.

- +1d6+6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of

concentration.

8th Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.

- Check for backache.

- Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -5 to dexterity because

of lack of agility.

- Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.

- +2d6+3% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of

concentration.

9th Stage

- Check for mood swings for this stage at 55% chance.

- Check for backache.

- Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -6 to dexterity because

of lack of agility.

- Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.

- +3d6+2% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of

concentration.

- Develops nesting habits (i.e. desire to make a warm, cozy home and prefer

not to go anywhere).

EFFECTS

BACKACHE

The formula to check for backache is as followed: 50% - (Strength + Constitution) + 5 for every previous stage of backache. The backache lasts for 2d4 days. If a woman has a backache, she is in great pain. She should get rest and not engage in strenuous activity. If she decides to, the GM may want to impose a 1d4 hit point loss for every turn of strenuous activity to simulate the agony.

Usually in the last three stages of pregnancy, backache is constant, so GMs may wish this upon the character. GMs may desire to make a temporarily (until pregnancy is over) drastic reduction of hit points to simulate the constant agony of the woman.

MOOD SWINGS (THE BITCH RULE)

The following are the steps to develop a moody female:

- The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for an

attitude.

- The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually stressful (i.e.

after melee, during an argument, etc.).

- Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other player

characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one reroll may happen

each day. The reroll represents people who influence the female thereby

changing her moods (for better or for worse).

- For a roll of 6 on Table 2, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates an obsessive

behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about whatever the party is doing

at the moment to the point of not letting anyone or thing in her way of

trying to accomplish her goal.

TABLE 2: Moods & Attitudes

Die

Roll Moods & Attitudes

1 happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly

2 self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic

3 pissed off, vengeful, cruel

4 depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate

5 depressed. brooding, pessimistic

6 restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with

things, roll 1d6 for obsession check

Needless to say, running a character with all of these different attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to roll play to a maximum.

MORNING SICKNESS

Roll d% on Table 3 to get the level of morning sickness. If the woman continues to have morning sickness from a previous stage, then an additional rule on the table isn't necessary.

Mild morning sickness consists of 1 to 2 hours of nausea a day. Moderate morning sickness lasts 1d4 hours a day after which check for 1 to 2 hours of nausea with-1 penalty. Chronic morning sickness lasts 2d4 hours a day after which check for 1d4 hours of nausea with -2 penalty.

TABLE 3: Level Of Morning Sickness

Die

Roll Level How Long

01-60 None n/a

61-80 Mild 3 stages

81-98 Moderate 5 stages

99-00 Chronic 9 stages

NAUSEA

A character has nausea if a constitution ability check is failed. A person with nausea feels like vomiting. The character has difficulty concentrating and therefore has a -05% chance of spell failure for every hour of nausea. Furthermore, she suffers a -1 to dexterity and strength for the duration of nausea.

CHARISMA, ATTRACTIVENESS, AND PREGNANCY

Some feel that there should be a charisma penalty imposed to a pregnant character. Supposedly, pregnant women find themselves fat, ugly, and undesirable. Thus, they don't give of an aura of coolness, magnetism, leadership, and determination. Not to many will follow a moody, weak woman. This "ugly" state would also be reflected in attractiveness.

Others feel that a pregnant character should get a bonus to charisma. Supposedly, pregnant women "glow with motherhood". Being pregnant is the essence of womanhood and many males find this attractive. In fact, a pregnant woman can get people to wait on her beckon call because she seems so helpless. This "natural beauty" can be reflected in attractiveness.

Given these completely different views. A GM should make charisma adjustments based on the individual views of those that the pregnant character meets. Thus, one NPC may find her attractive and thus she gains a bonus to attractiveness and charisma. On the other hand, an NPC can find her repulsive and thus she suffers a penalty to attractiveness and charisma.

DANGEROUS EFFECTS ON A UNBORN CHILD

SPELL-CASTING

A pregnant mage or cleric can cause weird things to happen to an unborn child if she casts spells after the 2nd stage of pregnancy. Magic is the ability to shape, control, harness, and utilize natural forces that infuse the world and surround the character. When a mage or cleric uses her magic ability, this force can influence the development of an unborn child.

Every time a mage or cleric casts a spell after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the spell level that an effect has occurred.

For example, Roxanne The Mage is in her 3 stage of pregnancy. She casts a 2nd level spell. There is a 2% that the unborn child is effected. The player rolls a 25 on the percentile dice and thus nothing happens to the unborn. Then, Roxanne casts a 3rd level spell. Now there is a 5% (2+3) chance of the unborn child to be effected. But the percentile dice show a 56 and the child is safe.

PSIONICS

A psionicist shapes, controls, harnesses, and utilizes natural forces that infuse her own being. The essence of a psionicist is mind and body. Since the unborn is in the body, psionic powers that are manifested can greatly effect the unborn child.

For every psionic strength point (PSP) used by the psionicist after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the number of expended PSPs that an effect has occurred.

EXTRAPLANAR TRAVEL

Each time a pregnant character travels to another plane after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance that an effect has occurred.

Going to the elemental planes gives a cumulative 5% chance of an effect occurring.

Going to the ethereal plane gives a cumulative 25% chance that an effect has occurred.

Going to the astral plane gives a cumulative 50% chance that an effect has occurred because of the strain.

The effects of going to the outer planes is relative to alignment. For each difference in alignment there is a cumulative 2% chance that an effect has occurred. Thus, a lawful good character visiting a chaotic evil outer plane will give the unborn child a 12% (lawful -> neutral -> chaotic = 3 or 6%, good -> neutral -> evil = 3 or 6% for a total of 12%) chance of an effect.

LEVEL DRAINING

Every time the pregnant woman loses a level for whatever reason after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the number of levels drained multiplied by 10 that an effect has occurred. If an effect does occur, minus 5 to the die roll on the Type of Effect Table for each level drained.

MAGICAL AGING

If any aging effect is inflicted upon the pregnant woman (such as a Haste spell), the aging effect is split between the mother and child equally. This, of course, may cause immediate labor and birth of the child. Due to increased development rate, the child must make a system shock roll based on its mother's constitution. Failure indicates that an effect occurs.

If there is an effect roll on the following table (subtracting the stage of pregnancy, i.e. add 10 if in the 5th stage of pregnancy) to decide if the effect is positive or negative (use appropriate modifiers).

TABLE 4: Type of Effect

01-25 Positive; roll on Positive Effects Table 5

26-00 Negative; roll on Negative Effects Table 6

TABLE 5: Positive Effects (ROLL 1d10)

1: Born with infravision which enables child to see up to 60 feet in the dark. If the child's race already has the benefit of infravision than add 20 feet to the range.

2: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or death magic.

3: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand.

4: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph.

5: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. breath weapon.

6: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. spell.

7: Born with 10d10 - 5 % magic resistance.

8: Born with a lifetime regeneration ability. The child will be able to naturally (subconsciously) regenerate 1 hit point every turn.

9: Born with a natural (subconscious) ability to "turn" 1 Hit Die undead. Great potential for child to grow up to be a infamous cleric.

10: Born with a psionic wild talent. If the effect was created due to psionics, then two wild talents develop.

TABLE 6: Negative Effects (ROLL 1d12)

1: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or death magic.

2: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand.

3: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph.

4: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. breath weapon.

5: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. spell.

6: Unborn is mutated into a demon. Possible possessed by the evil intelligence of a demonic creature. The GM should decide what type of demon the child shall be.

7: Radically different coloration of skin. The color change can either be advantageous or disadvantageous to the child, depending on whether the new color will give him/her a camouflage appearance or make him/her a laughing stock. A child's color can change to any other color. The color change is left to the GM and is limited only by the imagination.

8: The child's eyes are much different than normal. Roll 1d6 to determine the types of eyes: 1 = huge and protruding; 2 = small and stalked like a crab's; 3 = large ad turreted, move independently like a chameleon; 4 = appear normal but child has 1d4 additional eyes; 5 = multifaceted like an insect's; 6 = the child appears to have no eyes (any eye sockets are empty, but the child moves and reacts like one with normal vision).

9: The child's eyes appear and function normally except for their color: 1 = solid black; 2 = blank white; 3 = glowing red; 4 = glowing, venomous green; 5 = putrid pink; 6 = opalescent.

10: The skull or head of the child is adorned with unusual outgrowths. While it is possible for a child to attack with these outgrowths (when he/she grows up), this mutation does not give the child an additional attack per round. Roll 1d4 to determine the type of adornment: 1 = antlers, as a small deer, that do 1-2 hp slashing and rendering damage each; 2 = horns, as a small bull, doing 1-3 hp stabbing damage each; 3 = single horn, like a small unicorn horn without magical properties, doing 1-4 hp stabbing damage; 4 = curved horns, like a ram, that can be used to butt an opponent for 1-4 hp damage.

11: The child has a tail. While it is possible to use the tail for attack, this does not give an additional attack per round. Roll 1d4 to determine the type of tail: 1 = short, useless, and non-functioning; 2 = long and prehensile, can be used to hold a shield or other object but cannot be used in attack; 3 = long and segmented, ending in a nonpoisonous stinger that does 1-4 hp damage; 4 = long and whip-like, can be used to inflict 1-2 hp damage.

12: REROLL

WHEN DOES THE STORK COME?

Normally, labor will occur 36+1d4 weeks after conception for humans, elves, and half-elfs. Labor will occur 38-1d4 weeks after conception for dwarves and halflings.

MISCARRIAGES

When a character suffers over 50% of total hit points in damage, there is a chance that she suffers a miscarriage based on how long she has been pregnant. For the first three stages (1,2,3) the chance of a miscarriage is 50%. For the second three stages (4,5,6) the chance of a miscarriage is 25% The woman has 3d4 hours to get to a cleric for a Cure Critical Wounds to save the child. Of course, the child must make a system shock based on its mother's constitution to survive. In the case of a miscarriage, there is a 25% of hemorrhaging. Hemorrhaging causes 3d6 points of internal damage to the character.

For the last three stages (7,8,9) instead of a miscarriage there is a 50% chance for a premature birth.

LABOR & BIRTH

When a women has her first child, she will be in labor 4d6 hours. Subsequent labors will be for 1d10 hours.

The chance for a successful birth is based on the following formula (use mom's stats): success % = System Shock + (2 * Strength).

The GM has two options for an unsuccessful birth. Kind GMs can make the mother make a system shock/2. If she succeeds then the child makes a roll to check for failure on the table based on the following formula: (system shock/2) - 1 for each day premature. (NOTE: subtract 10% from the table for each day the child is premature.) This option gives the character and child a second chance. A more sinister GM can require a roll on the table without any second chances.

TABLE 7: Failed Birth (Roll 1d%)

01-40 child dies

41-80 mother dies

81-98 both dies

99-00 Both live (one last chance for success)

GMs may adjusted the table based on their own campaign.

RECOVERY FROM BIRTH

The mother must spend 1d6+3 days in recovery. If the character wishes to engage in strenuous activities rather than recover, the GM can implement penalties to abilities (i.e. strength, constitution, dexterity). The bitch rule should remain in effect for an additional 1d4 weeks after birth.

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SPELLS FOR THE MOTHER

Level 1

Detect Pregnancy Prevent Nausea

Summon Midwife

Level 2

Assist Labor & Birth

Level 6

'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy

Detect Pregnancy (Divination)

Class: Cleric

Level: 1

Sphere: Divination

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None

This spell enables the priest to detect pregnancy in any creature. The priest will also know the day of conception, stage of pregnancy, estimated day of birth, and gender of child.

Prevent Nausea (Abjuration) Reversible

Class: Cleric

Level: 1

Sphere: Healing

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 6 turns/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None

This spell will prevent the woman from getting nausea for the duration of the spell. The reverse of this spell will cause nausea to the victim, male or female.

Summon Midwife (Conjuration/Summoning)

Class: Cleric

Level: 1

Sphere: Summoning

Range: 30 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: none

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None

This spell will summon the nearest midwife. The midwife will get the summons. She is under no obligation to respond to the summons, but very few midwifes will ignore it unless unfortunate circumstances prevail.

Assist Labor & Birth (Necromancy)

Class: Cleric

Level: 2

Sphere: Healing

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: none

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None

This spell has multiple functions to assist the mother in labor and birth:

Epidural - Produces a numbing of the lower back and pelvis to reduce stress

on the mother during labor.

Push - Assists mother in pushing the child out. Will cut the time of labor

by 1d4 hours.

Turn Baby - Will position the child correctly during labor for proper

birth.

The material components of this spell are boiling hot water and towels.

'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy (Necromancy)

Class: Mage

Level: 6

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: permanent

Casting Time: 6

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.

This spell will speed up the pregnancy of a woman from 9 stages to 9 hours (1 hour for each stage left until birth). The pregnant woman must make a system shock when its time to give birth. Success indicates that the birth is successful, failure indicates that child dies and the woman suffers a permanent -1 reduction to constitution.

'Irnar is still researching, but the priestesses of the Mother Goddess are doing their damndest to hunt him down and destroy his research, it is a violation if their creed.

Some parental mages have created a few useful cantrips. Below is a list of them. They have a small description and should not need additional explanation.

Burp - causes the infant to pass gas. Create Cheerios and Milk - creates a healthy portion of cereal w/ milk. Gallager's Food to Mush - transfers food to edible mush for infants. Turn Toddler - keeps a whinny kid at bay.

FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME

Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the fetus. In some areas, the brain may never totally mature. In addition to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of "right or wrong". He/she has little sense of time, so that a potential long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today for a test next week. These symptoms can range anywhere from almost unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small, misshapen eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur.

Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept. Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they seem to be unable to have healthy friendships. They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the other troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc). They can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if pressured, will drink, steal, etc.. Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as imminent. The awful thing is, it's not their fault!

Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if she doesn't know she's pregnant) and if she consumes even a small amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The more often she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible effects. The player should roll 1d100 when the baby is born, with a cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. If the result is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, then the GM has two options in deciding on the results:

1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the mother

had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy.

Then consult Table 1.

2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the mother had

two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. Then

consult Table 2. Note that the character has all of the symptoms up to and

including his/her die roll. That is, if the player rolls a 6 then the

character has results 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

Die

Roll Effect

01-03 Intelligence is 4d4.

04-06 Intelligence is 3d4.

07-09 Intelligence is 2d4.

10-12 Intelligence is 1d4.

13-15 Wisdom is 4d4.

16-18 Wisdom is 3d4.

19-21 Wisdom is 2d4.

22-24 Wisdom is 1d4.

25-27 Strength is 4d4.

28-30 Strength is 3d4.

31-33 Strength is 2d4.

34-36 Strength is 1d4.

37-39 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 4d4.

40-42 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 3d4.

43-45 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 2d4.

46-48 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 1d4.

49-51 Weak. Constitution is 4d4.

52-54 Weak. Constitution is 3d4.

55-57 Very Weak. Constitution is 2d4.

58-60 Very Weak. Constitution is 1d4.

61-63 Learns at 1/4 speed.

64-66 Learns at 1/2 speed.

67-69 Learns at 3/4 speed.

70-72 Cannot have a lawful alignment.

73-75 Must have a chaotic alignment.

76-78 Must have a neutral alignment.

79-81 Unable to save money, destitute. Always gets rid of money.

82-84 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.

85-87 Never able to cast spells.

88-90 2d20+8 % magic resistance. Roll ignoring any result above 87.

91-93 Two problems. Roll twice ignoring any result above 87.

94-96 Three problems. Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87.

97-99 Four problems. Roll four times ignoring any result above 87.

00-00 Five problems. Roll five times ignoring any result above 87.

Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

1 Intelligence penalized -1d4.

2 Wisdom penalized -1d4.

3 Strength penalized -1d4.

4 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma penalized -1d4.

5 Weaker. Constitution penalized 1d4.

6 Learns at 1/4 speed.

7 Cannot have a lawful alignment.

8 Must have a chaotic alignment.

9 Must have a neutral alignment.

10 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.

11 Never able to cast spells.

12 2d20+8 % magic resistance.

ON THE SUBJECT OF A SHAPECHANGING MOTHER AND CHILD

When a female who can naturally shapechange has a child, the relationship between mother and child is complex. Specifically, what shapechanging -if any- does the child undergo? There are some rules to remember:

Nursing Stage

- While the mother is in her natural form, the child is in its natural form.

Examples: If a dragon mother is in dragon form, the child also is in dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in centaur form, the child is in centaur

- Until the child is weaned, it "echoes" the form of its mother. This occurs continuously whether or not the mother is actually in the process of nursing the child.

Examples: If a dragon mother is in human form, the child also is in human form. If a centaur druid mother is in bear form, the child is in bear form regardless of what its original form was.

Weaned Stage

- After the child is weaned, it regains its normal form.

Examples: If a dragon mother is in any form, the child also is in dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in any form, the child is in centaur, horse or human form as appropriate.

- From weaning until puberty, the child will always remain in its natural form.

Adulthood

- If the child is not of a shapechanging race, it will never shapechange again.

- If the child is of a shapechanging race, it will gain its shapechanging powers with the onset of puberty.

THE BABY IS HERE! WHAT YA' GOT?

CHARACTERISTICS

Baby's Sex

Probably the most popular topic of a new born child is its sex. Roll percentile dice to determine the race of the child. Generally the probability of having a female is slightly greater than a male. Thus there is a 52% of having a male and a 48% of having as female child. Note that GMs may wish to adjust this number in their campaigns for the various races. Also, the GM may let the character influence the chance one way or the other through magic, divine intervention, etc..

Attributes

This system will give you the attributes that the baby will have once he reaches adulthood (which is usually a few years after puberty). Of course, as a child the baby will show potential or problem areas if stats are high or low; especially in areas of intelligence and wisdom.

To figure out the attributes, the first step is to average each attribute of the parents which will give you the "genetic" bases. To make the baby a bit different from its parents, a random factor is added to the process. First, add 1d4 to each genetic base and then subtract 1d4 to that number. This means that each of the baby's stats can be up to 3 above or 3 below its parents' average. If the result isn't an integer, there is a 50% chance to round up and a 50% to round down.

Example: A baby is to be born, but what will his Strength be? His father's Strength is 17 and his mother's Strength is 14. This averages to 15.5 which becomes the genetic base. Before figuring in the random factor, we know that the baby's Strength will fall between 12.5 - 18.5. On the first 1d4, a 3 is rolled and added to the genetic factor giving us a 18.5. On the second 1d4, a 2 is rolled and subtracted from the 18.5 giving us a Strength 16.5. Well decimals are unacceptable so on the percentile roll, a 23% is rolled causing the Strength to be rounded down to 16. The baby's Strength will be 16 when it reaches adulthood. The same process is followed for the remanding attributes.

Note that the baby's attributes must still obey its race's minimum/maximum limits. For example, no human can be born with more than 18 or less than 3 in any attribute.

Height

To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step is to average the parents height (in inches). Next, add the modifier based on race found on the height table below. Finally, add the adjustment found on the height table if it is a male, subtract the adjustment if it is a female. The result is the baby's adult height in inches.

TABLE: Height

Race Mod. Adj.

Dwarf 1d6 1

Elf 1d6 2.5

Gnome 1d4 1

Half-elf 1d6 1

Halfling 1d8 1

Human 1d10 1

Weight

To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step is to average the parents weight. Next, add the modifier based on race found on the weight table below. Finally, add the adjustment found on the weight table if it is a male, subtract the adjustment if it is a female. The result is the baby's adult weight.

TABLE: Weight

Race Mod. Adj.

Dwarf 2d10 12.5

Elf 2d6 5

Gnome 2d4 2

Half-elf 2d8 12.5

Halfling 2d4 2

Human 2d20 20

Alternative Sexist Height & Weight

This system emphasizes the relationship between the sex of the child and the size of the parents. Big men with small wives will have small daughters and strapping sons. Small men with big wives will have large healthy daughters and puny sons. To summarize, this system will have daughter's size favor mothers and son's size favor fathers.

Although this system for figuring out height and weight is good, it is given as an alternative. Unless the GM plans the size of the parents ahead of time, a small mother would have a small daughter and a small father would have a small son. This seems reasonable, but if players are looking for player characters out of the baby, having the baby small might not be a good idea.

To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step is to calculate height in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the height of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply it by 1.5. Take the height of the other parent of the child and multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The result is the baby's adult height in inches. To summarize:

ht = [calc. ht. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3

To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step is to calculate weight in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the weight of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply it by 1.5. Take the weight of the other parent of the child and multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The result is the baby's adult weight in inches. To summarize:

wt = [calc. wt. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3

Personality

Sooner or later, the parents will learn that the baby has a distinct personality. The player should roll on a personality table of his GM RPG rule book. The GM may wish the player to roll on the table once the baby reaches childhood, reaches puberty, and finally reaches adulthood. Of course, once adulthood is reached, the "baby" may be considered a PC rather than a NPC if the player desires to pursue this avenue. Thus, the player develops the character as desired.

It should be emphasized here that role-playing personality is only relevant if the baby is intended as an NPC. Babies who are to become PCs shouldn't roll this so the player may have absolute freedom in creating the character.

"DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL" SYNDROME

A female child should has a percentage chance (60 + her Charisma - father's Wisdom) of charming her father. The charmed father will always think of his daughter as pure and innocent. He will always protect her and blame everybody else for anything that happens to her even if it is obviously her fault.

THE FIRST BORN

When these baby rules were being developed, GM Mizar and one of his players started to roll up the baby's stats and due to a sequence of unbelievably lucky rolls they created a wonder girl:

P. Strength: 18

Intelligence: 15

Dexterity: 17

Wisdom: 16

Constitution: 18

Charisma: 12

Attractiveness: 17

Luck: 14

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SEXUAL TENDENCY

Some GMs may like totally random factors in a character's generation thus this sexual tendency optional rule is presented. Roll 1d100 on Table 1 to get the sexual tendency of the character using the appropriate social class modifier from Table 2. The reason for the social class modifier: the upper classes have more access to culturally-accepted sexual information and are under strict "moral" guardianship.

TABLE 1: Sexual Tendencies

Die Roll Tendency

01-80 heterosexual

81-90 bisexual

91-00 homosexual

TABLE 2: Modifiers Due To Social Class

Social Level Modifiers

Lower Lower Class 0

Middle Lower Class 0

Upper Lower Class 0

Lower Middle Class -1%

Middle Middle Class -2%

Upper Middle Class -3%

Lower Upper Class -5%

Middle Upper Class -7%

Upper Upper Class -9%

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THE BITCH RULE

The Bitch Rule is an option that makes a female PC or NPC very moody. GMs may make this a requirement for all females. Other alternatives are making it an insanity, disease, or curse. The Bitch Rule works best for chaotic characters because they seem to have what it takes to work.

The following are the steps to develop a moody female:

- The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for an

attitude.

- The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually stressful (i.e.

after melee, during an argument, etc.).

- Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other player

characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one reroll may happen

each day. The reroll represents people who influence the female thereby

changing her moods (for better or for worse).

- For a roll of 6 on the table, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates an obsessive

behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about whatever the party is doing

at the moment to the point of not letting anyone or thing in her way of

trying to accomplish her goal.

TABLE: Moods & Attitudes

Die

Roll Moods & Attitudes

1 happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly

2 self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic

3 pissed off, vengeful, cruel

4 playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker

5 vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling

6 restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with

things, roll 1d6 for obsession check

Needless to say, running a character with all of these different attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to role play to a maximum.

The Bitch Rule initiated in Salina, a chaotic neutral human. Because of her great contribution to the game, a profile of her is below.

Salina - 9th level mage

Physical Appearance: Salina is 5' 6" brunette with grey eyes. She has remarkable stats (all above 10, INT 17, DEX 18) (honest, that's the way she rolled it...). She is a real "babe". The longer you are in her presence, however, the more you realize that her charisma is not quite up to her atractiveness.

Family & Childhood: Her mother died in childbirth. Her father is a rich/feared/respected merchant/trader/smuggler who bought his title and measures affection in monetary terms. To increase Salina's value, she was educated by private tutors and given anything money could buy. She discovered books and power as a substitute for friends and affection.

Reasons to Adventure:

* Boredom; looking for a thrill

* Companionship (though she would never agmit it to herself)

* To gain greater powers and a sense of self away from Daddy

* To get away from Daddy's immediate grasp so he doesn't marry her off to

secure a trade agreement or something

General: She lives whim to whim. She has chronic PMS mood swings (aka The Bitch Rule). She is self serving. All of her likes and dis-likes are subject to change at any time, though a respect for books and talent and an attraction to jewelry are pretty consistent. She tends to dislike being dirty and loathes stupid people unless they have something she needs from them. She is a sort-of female Q (from Star Trek TNG). The party puts up with her often dangerous moods because she is a really good mage.

Adventure examples: Has a casual but regular relationship with 'Irnar (a NPC mage who "pops" in every now and again to stir up trouble with the characters). She keeps the relationship for what she can get out of him and because he learned some pretty INCREDIBLE moves after being abducted by a goddess of love. 'Irnar is totally into the physical aspect of a relation and since Salina is a mage with the best attractiveness in my campaign, she wins out. Salina has been known to disappear (teleported by 'Irnar) during the middle of her night watch and reappear with melting snow in her hair. Or completely soaked with water, or in one case with grass stains and rope burns. The party has yet to find out what she does on her little side trips. One time she disappeared for three days then reappeared with no explanations, but she was in such a good mood that the party counted their blessings and did not press the questions. Besides, they desperately needed her since they were about to do battle with an Orcish army.

One time, another mage in the party got Salina mad at him, so he cast a Globe of Invulnerability around him for protection. Salina, recognizing the spell promptly threw a dagger +2 at him as a "subtle way of saying "get out of my face" and continued on her way without losing hardly a beat.

Another time the party had to pay a toll of one magic item each to a very old black dragon (I was sorta hoping they'd try to fight the thing) and Salina, in her helpful, cheery mood promptly offered the other mage to the dragon saying "If you let us pass, I'll give him to you" (note: said with a disgustingly cheery voice). The other mage had to do some quick talking to get out of that one. He did get some help from the good cleric who was "appalled" that Salina could do such a thing.

The party encountered a pool of whimsy healing water once. Salina got mad at one of the party members for being stupid, and promptly pushed him in. (The party at the time did not know the effects of the water.) Well, the fighter immediately got healed of all of his hit points, got a whimsy (I don't recall what it was) and drowned because he was wearing metal armour. Two members of the party finally fished him out, but they had a dickens of a time resuscitating him. The episode ended by everyone having a pool fight and pushing someone else in. (All went in except Salina.)

In another adventure, the party was right in the middle of battling an awesome mage (Le Morte by name) and Salina suddenly got bored and sat down to do her nails. The party, without a mage to help them out, really got whomped on, had to give in to Le Morte's demands, and lost a Horn of Dwarf Summoning they had spent several months (real time) trying to get in order to call the Dwarves to battle against the impending evil of a powerful anti-paladin (Sheol) who is still trying to take over all of the land.

Well. There you have some of the endearing characteristics of Salina. The party she runs around with may not like her all that much, but with players like her, the GM's job of making things difficult for all the players is made a little easier. ("With characters like her," quipped the Cleric named Candice Preach, "who needs adventure?")

This background is brought to you by

Morgan the Slightly Chaotic

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THE RACK CRITICAL HIT CHART: FOR MEN ONLY

Female characters are cursed with The Bitch Rule, so how can the males be equally punished. Well, at long last, it's here. The Rack Critical Hit Chart.

"Rack" is a term that refers to a shot to the groin. As most guys will tell you, a hit to the body or face is invulnerably more welcome and less devastating than a blast to the crotch.

The rack can either be a called shot to the groin, part of a normal critical hit chart, or (to get more use of it) if the attacker rolls five higher than the necessary to hit roll (modified or natural), it is now considered to be a rack.

The rack chart is as follows:

0-70 Man drops weapon, clutches privates, and loses next 1d4 rounds of

initiative.

71-80 Man is blinded by tears and cannot defend or attack for the next 1d6

rounds.

81-90 Man is stunned for one round and then goes into a berserker rage for 1d10

rounds. Rules for berserk rage applies.

91-95 Man's voice is permanently altered to 1d4 octaves higher, dropping his

charisma by 1d4. Also stunned for 1d4 rounds.

96-98 Man is permanently rendered impotent. Stunned for 1d6 rounds.

99 Man loses consciousness for 1d10 rounds. (System shock roll can be made

at -50%, if successful, man is only unconscious for 1d4 rounds.)

00 Man goes into shock, no save, and dies. All men within a viewing distance

must make a constitution save at -5 or they clutch themselves and remain

stunned for 1 round.

NOTE: GM's may enforce the rule that any time a man sees another man getting racked he must make a constitution check to see if he is stunned for one round. Exception, see 00.

FINAL NOTE: Due to the amount of protection a male will go through to protect his "family treasure", his AC for his privates is 2 better than his overall AC. He also gets +2 to his dexterity at any attempt to dodge. <evil grin>

SEDUCTION: MORE THAN REACTION ROLLS

This is a simple yet effective way to handle a seduction. It is far more fun than making endless reaction checks and it certainly keeps players on their feet.

The following are the steps for seducing:

- When the character first comes in contact with someone he/she wants to

seduce, a normal reaction roll is made. If the reaction of the victim is

friendly, then a seduction may take place.

- The preliminary moves are made (i.e. role playing) and attribute checks

are made. The seducer makes a Charisma check with modifiers from Table 1.

The victim makes an Intelligence check (to see if he/she is dumb enough

to fall for it) with modifiers from Table 1. If the seducer beats the

victim's roll by 4 or more, he/she is doing well and may continue.

- The GM decides how many more checks should be made with suitable pluses

or minuses to the attribute rolls (take into account how well the player

is role playing). Usually no more than three more successful checks are

necessary. Failed checks mean that the victim of the seduction lost

interest, but the seducer can try again with the Charisma check halved

(its not easy to get back up on that horse after being shot down).

TABLE 1: Attribute Modifiers

Moves Made Seducer Victim

Drunkenly -2 +2

Sleazy/Raunchy -1 +1

Aggressive +1 -1

Gentleman/Lady +2 -2

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SEDUCTION FOR THE PROFESSIONAL

Certain characters (see the sub-classes in this guide) have a special benefit of seduction. This ability that differs from the seduction rules above is described here. Note that these rules are not gender specific but are given as if the Seducer is a woman.

The Seducer has a special power of seduction. Seduction is an ability which is used against individual males of the same or similar race as the Seducer. The Seducer's percentage chance of seducing is given by the following formula:

Seducer's level

-------------------------- X 100

victim's level + modifiers

TABLE 1: CUMULATIVE MODIFIERS; IF VICTIM IS...

Fighter +3 Elf/Half-elf +1 * +1 for each

Rogue +3 Dwarf/Gnome/Halfling +2 outsider

Mage +4 Orc/Half-orc -1 (see below)

Cleric +5

TABLE 2: CUMULATIVE VICTIM'S WISDOM MODIFIER

1 -6 08-14 0

2 -4 15 +1

3 -3 16 +2

4 -2 17 +3

05-07 -1 18 +4

TABLE 3: OPTIONAL SEDUCER'S STATE OF DRESS MODIFIER

Heavily clothed +1

Scantily/Provocatively clad -1

Nude -2

(The latter state will not be terribly practical under

most circumstances, and might well lead to arrest for

indecent exposure.)

A seduced person will drop his weapons, become oblivious to his surroundings, and attempt to engage the Seducer in a passionate embrace. In such a state he is extremely vulnerable (especially to kiss spells which are very popular amongst Seducers). However, if the Seducer does not attempt to use a spell on a seduced victim, he is allowed to make his save vs. spell. If this is successful, then he realizes what has happened in which case the seduction is broken and he cannot be immediately seduced again. Breaking the seduction, however, does not affect the success of the spell being used.

Seduction cannot be used in combat and cannot work against other females except those that are homosexuals. The presence of other individuals in close proximity (within ten feet, or obviously watching) will reduce the chance of success of the seduction attempt. For each outsider present, add 1 to the modifier.

Seduction lasts for a number of turns equal to five times the Seducer's level, or until broken. It can be broken in a number of ways, i.e. if the Seducer attempts to use a kiss spell as above, or if she resists his attentions (the victim is allowed his save vs. spell each time she does so), or if the victim is attacked. In the latter case, the seduction is instantly broken.

Seduction can only be used on a single individual at a time; a Seducer may use the ability a number of times per day equal to her level.

EXAMPLE OF THE USE OF SEDUCTION: Lirona the Seducer (3rd level, human) is attempting to seduce Thad Leaf the thief (5th level, human). The scene is the Golden Griffon Inn. There are a number of other people present but no one is paying any particular attention to the pair. Lirona's chance of seducing Thad is equal to 3 (her level) X 100 divided by 5 (Thad's level) +3 (modified for a thief), i.e. 300 / 8 = 37.5%. Lirona rolls 30. Success! Thad is taken in by her charms. however, a bar is no place for a romantic liaison. Eagerly he accompanies her upstairs to her room, his arm around her slim waist, not suspecting the fate that awaits him when he gets there...!!!

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NON-WEAPON SKILLS

# of Slots Relevant Check

Skill Required Ability Modifier

Contortion 1 Dexterity 0

Massage 1 Intelligence 0

Seduction 1 Charisma 0

Sexual Endurance 1 Constitution 0

Sexual Knowledge 1 Intelligence 0

Skilled Perversion 1 see below see below

Contortion - A character with this skill is able to contort his body and limbs into extraordinary positions.

Massage - A character with this skill is a master of massaging. The character has a great knowledge of stroking, kneading, and striking certain muscular parts of the body. It is used to improve circulation, sooth the nerves, and stimulate the digestive organs. Massage is also useful in increasing the tone of muscles after a long illness. Thus, the character gains knowledge of anatomy and is able to use his hands skillfully in stroking motions on certain muscles and nerves. A male who gives massage is called a masseur; a female is known as a masseuse. A skill check isn't necessary unless it is critical for the massage to be good (ex. soothing a savage before picking his pockets).

This skill also allows the character the ability to strike pressure points on an opponent. A successful "to hit" and skill check indicates that the victim suffers a -2 on his/her "to hit" rolls for 1d4 rounds (due to pain and sudden muscle cramps).

Seduction - A character with this skill is better at seducing people than the average person. Thus, he/she gets a +2 bonus when seducing somebody (see the seduction rules below) if the skill check is made.

Sexual Endurance - A character with this skill is able to perform continual sexual activity longer then most before becoming subject to fatigue and exhaustion. When a character makes constitution ability checks during sex, he/she makes a skill check. If a successful skill check is made, then the cumulative modifier to constitution is cancelled.

Sexual Knowledge - A character with this skill has a knowledgeable understanding of sex. Thus, he/she gets a bonus of +1 to constitution ability checks during sex if a successful skill check is made.

This knowledge is allows the character to know proper "etiquette" when it comes to sex. Knowledge of sexual customs, preferences, pleasures, and dislikes, and so forth of people he/she comes in contact with.

Skilled Perversion - This skill actually gives the character a number of skills. Unfortunately (to normal people), these skills allow the character to master the art of perversion.

The skill of voyeurism allows the character on a successful Charisma check to ogle a person of the opposite gender and make lewd, suggestive comments equal to the prose of bards. If the check is made by 2, the character can successfully peep in windows to look at sexy people without being caught.

The skill of cleavage allows the character on a successful Wisdom check to accurately determine the direction and distance to the nearest female with a minimum bust size of 36 and/or minimum cup size of D.

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SEXUALIS MORBUS (SEXUAL DISEASES)

This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects.

CHANCE OF CONTRACTING A DISEASE

To contract a sexual disease, the character must be having sex with somebody who already is inflicted with a disease. The base chance for contracting a natural disease is 1% per round of sexual activity. The base chance for contracting a magical disease is 2% per round of sexual activity. Modifiers are as followed:

Constitution of character

1-3 +4 13-15 -2

4-6 +2 16-18 -4

protected intercourse / 2 (cuts the chance in half)

unprotected intercourse X 2 (doubles the chance)

Thus, Rath (con. 14) becomes intimate with a person that has a natural sexual disease unfortunately he prefers not to use protection (like a sheep-skin condom). He participates in 18 rounds of sex. His chance of getting a disease is 32% (18-2 X 2). He rolls a 28 on the percentile dice. Thus, our hero now is infected with a sexual disease. If only he used protection, his chance of contracting a disease would have been a mere 8%. A lesson to be learned.

The use of Protection From Disease and Cure Disease spells are of course very useful for preventing and curing disease.

RANDOM DETERMINATION OF WHO IS DISEASED

The GM should decide of the person a character has sex with is infested with a disease, but if he wants to decide randomly, this system is provided. The chance of a prostitute having a disease is already established if Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator) section of the guide is used. Therefore, the system is provided for non-prostitute people. Also, this system doesn't handle whether diseases are natural or magical because some GM's may have magically rich campaigns ands others may not so odds may vary.

The base chance of having a disease is depend on the size of the settlement (the theory is that more diseases are found in bigger settlements where more people interrelate):

Thorp, Dorf 10

Hamlet 25

Village, Wych 30

Town 35

City 40

Modifiers to the base chance are by social level (the theory is that more disease are transmitted amongst the lower classes because there are dirtier and less careful):

Lower Lower Class +20 NOTE: not all settlements

Middle Lower Class +15 have these many variations

Upper Lower Class +10 of social level. The GM

Lower Middle Class +5 should be aware of what

Middle Middle Class 0 social levels are around.

Upper Middle Class -5

Lower Upper Class -10

Middle Upper Class -15

Upper Upper Class -20

Thus, a lower lower class citizen of a city would have a 60% chance of having a disease maybe because she sleeps around to get extra food money. In a near by hamlet, an upper upper class citizen would have a 5% chance maybe because he has a private mistress to engage in sexual activity when he is up to it. While in the city, a citizen of equal status has a 20% chance maybe because he parties a lot with the rich and he screws just as much.

At first glance at this system, a person might assume that in a city 9,000 roughly 40% (3,600) of the population are sexually diseased. The first item to note is that this system includes only those that ENGAGE in sexual activity. This eliminates a large amount of the city including children, elderly, etc.. We'll say that half the city engages in sexual activity, which seems like a lot. Social level is another important aspect that must be included. Thus in this example, let us assume that all social levels exist and there population is equal:

Total Sexual Chance Total Of

Social Level Pop. Active Of Dis. Diseased

Lower Lower Class 1,000 500 * 60% = 300

Middle Lower Class 1,000 500 * 55% = 275

Upper Lower Class 1,000 500 * 50% = 250

Lower Middle Class 1,000 500 * 45% = 225

Middle Middle Class 1,000 500 * 40% = 200

Upper Middle Class 1,000 500 * 35% = 175

Lower Upper Class 1,000 500 * 30% = 150

Middle Upper Class 1,000 500 * 25% = 125

Upper Upper Class 1,000 500 * 20% = 100

-----

1800

Thus, 1,800 people of 4,500 people who have sex of 9,000 people that live in the city are infected with a sexual disease. This is a lot, but we're assuming that those that participate in sexual activity do this with more than one person. The thing to keep in mind is that this system is to calculate individual persons, not mass population. When the dice starts rolling, the results usually don't go with the odds.

NATURAL

Natural sexual diseases might not seem as bad as magical, but they are as terrible. After choosing the desired disease on Table 1, the GM should roll 1d8 to decide occurrence and 1d8 to decide the severity of the disease.

Table 1: Natural Diseases

Occurrence Severity

Name Acute Chronic Mild Severe Terminal

E.S.S. 1-4 5-8 1-3 4-5 6-8

Gonorrhea 1-6 7-8 1-5 6-7 8

Insania 1-4 5-8 X X X

Prurire 1-7 8 1-6 7-8 X

Segmen Neus 1-4 5-8 1-3 4-5 6-8

Syphilis X 1-8 1-5 6-7 8

Tuna 1 2-8 1-8 X X

Occurrence determines whether the disease is a single (acute) attack or whether the disease will recur periodically once contracted (chronic). Chronic maladies will affect the character periodically, if they occur at the same time as any other malady (disease, disorder, or parasitic infestation), the severity of both will be increased. Thus, if two chronic maladies are contracted, the character is not likely to survive another disease attack.

Severity refers to the seriousness of the disease, disorder, or parasitic infestation and determines the period of disability (recover time or length of illness which terminates in the character's demise) and the effects of the malady.

MILD: During the period of affliction the character is unable to perform strenuous activities. Roll once on Table 2 for additional effects. Some treatment may be determined by the GM to allow a shortening of the period of illness. A normal period is 1-3 weeks.

SEVERE: A severe malady will lower the character's hit points to 50% of normal and make him/her totally disabled for 1-2 weeks, plus a further 1-2 weeks of time during which the malady is in the mild state as the character recovers. Roll twice on Table 2 for additional effects.

TERMINAL: The malady will cause death (or loss of the body part or function) in 1-12 days (longer periods are stated hereafter in the discussion of the various maladies). Roll thrice on Table 2 for additional effects.

Table 2: Additional Effects

Die

Roll Effect

1 Burning during urination

2 Constant pain; -1d4 to attack rolls

3 Gradual brain rot; -1 intelligence and -1 wisdom

4 Hyperactivity; double movement rate, -2 initiative bonus

5 Loss of voice; no verbal spells, singing, etc.

6 Uncontrollable vomiting; -1 constitution per day

7 Sluggishness; half movement rate, +2 initiative penalty

8 10% chance per hour of a spasm which causes dropping of held items

Description

Enlarged Scrotum Syndrome (E.S.S.) - This disease is only contracted in males. The effect is that the male's testicles become quite enlarged (max. of two feet in diameter each). The victim's movement is quartered. Constitution is halved. The pain is awful and its really embarrassing to be seen. There is a 15% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Gonorrhea - An infectious disease of the genitourinary tract, rectum, and cervix, caused by the gonococcus, transmitted by sexual intercourse, and characterized by acute purulent urethritis with dysuria (Hey, its from Webster's Dictionary). There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Insania - This disease causes the inflicted to gain a sexual insanity disorder (GM's choice; see below). The period of affliction lasts 4d6 months. There is a 10% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Prurire - "The Itch" as it is better known is quite an uncomfortable but not lethal experience. The period of affliction is 1d4 weeks. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Segmen Neus - This disease is named after a disgusting perverse ogre who was always pestering female species. The effects of the disease are as followed:

* -2 to comeliness each day (gradual disfigurement)

* -1 to intelligence each day (gradual stupidity)

* right leg goes bad making movement decrease by 90%

* unable to participate in any sexual activity

There is a 75% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Syphilis - A chronic infectious venereal disease caused by a spirochete (Webster's Dictionary is so laborious). There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Tuna - This disease only manifests itself in female characters. It causes the victim to reek of the smell of fish. Going unnoticed is quite impossible. In fact, if cats are around they will follow the victim. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

MAGICAL

It is unknown how these magical diseases came about. Some sages say they're from war, some say that a rip in magical fields caused them, others say that creatures having sex with certain magical beings cause weird things. Whatever the reason, magical diseases aren't pretty. Magical diseases don't have an occurrence or severity. They last until dispelled by cure disease, wish, etc.. The GM can pick or roll (2d8) on Table 3.

Some may feel that the these diseases cause to much damage. A first level character can have sex with somebody infected with acid secretion and most likely be killed during the encounter. This is true, but the important thing to remember is that these diseases are magical and are not necessarily that common in society.

Table 3: Magical Diseases

Die

Roll Disease

2 Acidic Secretion

3 Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.)

4 Fiery Secretion

5 Mummy Crotch Rot

6 Orgasmatic Flight

7 Orgasmatic Monster Summoning

8 Orgasmatic Polymorph

9 Poison Secretion

10 Sexual Audible Glamer

11 Sexual Chill Touch

12 Sexual Clairvoyance

13 Sexual Invisibility

14 Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope

15+ REROLL

Description

Acidic Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d8 points of damage on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter.

Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.) - This magical disease only affects females. Males should reroll on the magical disease table. Females with this disease suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.

Fiery Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d6 points of damage on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter.

Mummy Crotch Rot - This disease is fatal in 1-6 months. For each month the rot progresses, the victim permanently loses two points of charisma. The disease can be cured only with a cure disease spell. Cure wounds and regenerate spells have no effect on a person inflicted with mummy crotch rot.

Orgasmatic Monster Summoning - Within one round of an orgasm, summoned monsters appear. There are seven stages of this disease. Each stage is relative to the number of months the inflicted has had the disease. Thus in the first month, the disease would be in the first stage.

In the first stage, 2d4 1st-level monsters appear (selected by the GM, from encounter tables). In the second stage, 1d6 2nd-level monsters appear. In the third stage, 1d4 3rd-level monsters appear. In the forth stage, 1d3 4th-level monsters appear. In the fifth stage, 1d2 5th-level monsters appear. In the sixth stage, 1d3 6th-level monsters appear. In the seventh stage, 1d2 7th-level monsters appear. The disease becomes terminal after the 7th stage.

The summoned creatures attack whomever happens to be there for a number of rounds equal to the stage number + 10.

Orgasmatic Flight - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted levitates if able (not tied down, etc). Then, he/she takes off in a random direction for 1d20 rounds. Upon coming into contact with a solid object (ex. wall), he/she takes off in another random direction. The GM may assign damage if necessary.

Orgasmatic Polymorph - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted polymorphs into another creature, save those that are noncoporeal, from as small as wren to as large as a hippopotamus. Furthermore the victim gains its physical mode of locomotion and breathing as well. No system shock is required. This affect does not give the new form's other abilities, nor does it run the risk of changing personality and mentality. The duration of the polymorph is 1 turn per constitution point.

Poison Secretion - The sexual partner receives damage (save vs. poison) on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter . Roll (1d20) on the following table to decide damage:

Die Fail Succ.

Roll Onset In Save Save

01-03 10-30 min. 15 0

04-06 02-12 hours 20 10

07-09 01-04 hours 20 10

10-11 02-12 min. 20 01-03

12-13 02-05 min. 25 02-08

14-15 02-12 min. 30 15

16-17 01-02 min. 30 02-12

18 01-04 min. Death 20

19 Immediate Death 0

20 Immediate Death 20

Sexual Audible Glamer - Any time the inflicted engages in sexual activity, he/she has uncontrollable desires to yell, scream, etc. This yell becomes louder as the sexual encounter continues. The volume is based upon the round of sex. During the second round, the volume is that of one person. The ratio is two rounds for one person's volume. Thus, the noise increase to the equivalent of two men during the forth round, the noise of three men during the sixth, and so on.

Sexual Chill Touch - On the tenth round of a sexual encounter, the inflicted causes a chill touch to his/her partner. The partner will take 1d10 points of damage due to the absolute cold. Further, the victim must save vs. paralysis or be utterly unable to move. This paralysis lasts until dispelled in some manner. (This could be real embarrassing to a government official paralyzed in a sleazy establishment.)

Sexual Clairvoyance - The inflicted sees in his/her mind some unknown locale (chosen by the GM) at random times throughout a sexual encounter.

Sexual Invisibility - The inflicted slowly turns invisible when having sex. This transformation begins on the second round and will end when the sexual encounter is finished. At this point, the inflicted will be totally invisible. The duration of invisibility is equal to the amount of rounds of the sexual encounter. (This could be beneficial when a quick an discreet exit is required.)

Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope - A person with this disease either becomes inflicted with lycanthrope or becomes a carrier of the dreaded disease. The chances to get the disease are as followed:

50% - constitution - 5 becoming inflicted

50% + constitution - 5 becoming a carrier

10% neither

The type of lycanthrope can be rolled (1d6) on the following table:

1 Werebear 4 Wearboar

2 Werefox 5 Wererat

3 Werewolf 6 Weretiger

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SEXUAL INSANITY ?

A character can be struck by insanity due to a curse, psionic attack, disease, etc.. The GM must make sure the role of the insane character is role-played correctly. Naturally, these insanities are not clinically correct. They are designed to conform to game terms and situations. Their inclusion is to fill an area of the game where a condition exists and no adequate explanation is otherwise given. The GM can pick the desired insanity or roll (1d30) on Table 1.

Table 1: Insanities

Die

Roll Insanity

1 Bitchamania

2 Coprophilia

3 Exhibitionism

4 Fetishism

5 Foulmouthia

6 Geroniophilla

7 Innecrophilia

8 Masochism

9 Mirusmania

10 Necrophilia

11 Nymphomania

12 Pedophilia

13 Periculuphilia

14 Pigmalionism

15 Sadism

16 Sexaphobia

17 Unus-????mania

18 Uridpsomania

19 Voyeurism

20 Zoophilia

21+ REROLL

Description

Bitchamania - This insanity can only manifest itself within females. Males should reroll for another insanity. Females with this insanity suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.

Coprophilia - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have an uncontrollable desire to eat the lees (the sediment of a liquid) of the sexual partner. If the partner is diseased (hopefully a sexual one), then the insane person's chance of contacting the disease is doubled and should be checked after each feast.

Exhibitionism - This insanity causes the victim to have a fascination of being observed while nude or having sex. The more who witness the person the better. The person must exhibit himself/herself a minimum of 1d10+4 times a week. A few examples are to have sex in a public places, flash people, streak, etc..

Fetishism - The victim has a fascination and desire to have sex only if a specific object is in his/her possession or if possible the object is used in the act (like rods, rings, balls).

Foulmouthia - The victim has an uncontrollable desire to say something perverse when he/she sees somebody of the opposite sex. When the victim sees such a person, he/she must make a Wisdom check with a -3 modifier. Failure and the victim says something profane. If the player can't think of anything, he/she can roll on the Sexist Quotes table found later in this guide.

Geroniophilla - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire sex with older people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The older person must be at least be twice the character's age and is 50% of the time a three times the character's age (if possible).

Innecrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with the undead. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with undead creatures when the opportunity arises. When coming across undead the afflicted character is 75% likely not to cause harm to the undead. Furthermore, he/she is 50% likely to rape unintelligent undead or seduce (to the point of begging) intelligent undead. The GM and players can see the dangers of a character desiring the likes of a vampire.

Masochism - This insanity causes the character to like to be hurt by the partner (normally a sadistic one), using the same ways as the sadism. In other words, he/she likes to be on the receiving end of physical pain during sexual encounters.

Mirusmania - This insanity causes the victim to desire to have weird sex (although some characters may already do weird things). Some examples are during fly, jump spells; while polymorphed or ethereal; in strange places like a dungeon, temple, tree; under the influence of transmute flesh to spells. The GM and player should flesh out this insanity for good role-playing purposes.

Necrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with death and corpses. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with a corpse. The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a corpse of the opposite sex when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring in catacombs may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the dead. This insanity could reach a point where the character keeps a supply of dead handy to serve his/her purposes.

Nymphomania - Sex! Sex! Sex! This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex (lots of sex). The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce a person of the opposite sex, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. The afflicted must have sex a minimum of 1d10+10 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Other problems could be continuous dissatisfaction, inability to prioritize, egotistic view that everyone wants it, patronizing view that all need to be defiled by sex because they are naturally evil, or that he/she is doing people a "favor". He/she will not go to the extent of rape or molesting, but hiring prostitutes is not above the insanity.

Pedophilia - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire sex with younger people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The younger person must be at least be half the character's age and is 50% of the time a fourth of the character's age. Of course this insanity can cause a lot of trouble with governmental laws on statutory rape.

Periculuphilia - This strange insanity causes the inflicted to have a desire for sex only in dangerous situations and places. When in such a situation, the character is 50% likely to go into a sexual frenzy in which he/she must have sex immediately, preferably with a close sexual partner. Thus, a character will usually have such a partner along with him/her when adventuring. Note the afflicted must have this dangerous sex a minimum of 1d4+1 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Some examples of dangerous situations and places would be when he/she is surrounded by a few dragons, in front of a angry lich, or maybe in any battle he/she is involved in.

Pigmalionism - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with statues because they are cold, have hard muscles, nice form, unemotional, etc.. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with a statue (if physically possible). The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a statue when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring in temple may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the a lovely statue. This insanity could reach a point where the character collects statues to serve his/her purposes. The ideal partner would be a golem or enchanted statue.

Sadism - The victim of this insanity has a desire to physically hurt the person which he/she is having sex with. This attack can be done by various strange ways like whipping, kicking, chaining the partner, etc.. This insanity could reach a point where the character, under a orgasm, kills the engaged person.

Sexaphobia - This insanity gives the victim a fear of having sex and will avoid having sex at all costs. Reasons for this fear may be divine retribution, superiority complex (nobody is good enough), etc.

Sexual Phobia - If played properly, a sexual phobia can give a character a good amount of extra depth, however, played incorrectly can be disastrous.

A phobia is a fear of something. The phobias presented here fears that are related to sex in some way.

There are two tables for this section, Male and Female. If the character is homosexual or bisexual, then go to the appropriate sex 90% of the time and the opposite sex of the character the remaining 10% of the time. If a character rolls an impossibility (a male rolls a strictly female phobia), then reroll on the table appropriate to the character's sex.

TABLE: Female Sexual Phobias

Die Female

Roll Sexual Phobias Fear of

01-03 Agaraphobia Sexual Abuse

04-06 Algophobia Sexual Pain

07-12 Androphobia Men

13-14 Anuptophobia Being single

15-17 Aphenphobia Physical Contact

18-22 Coitophobia Sex

23-24 Coitus More Ferarum Doggy-style sex

25-29 Coitus Oralis Oral sex

30-35 Cypridophobia Venerial Diseases

36-38 Dyspareunia Painful vaginal sex

39-41 Esodophobia Virginity

42-44 Gamophobia Marriage

45-47 Gymnophobia Naked bodies

48-50 Hedonophobia Pleasure

51 Heterophobia Heterosexuals

52-57 Homphobia Homosexuals

58-60 Ithyphallophobia Erect penises

61-63 Maieusiophobia Childbirth

64-65 Malaxophobia Flirting

66-67 Medectophobia Contour of a penis which is visible

through clothing

68-69 Menophobia Menstration

70-74 Merinthophobia Being bound

75-77 Necrophobia Sex with the dead

78-79 Oneirogmophobia Wet dreams

80-82 Paraphobia Sexual Perversions

83-84 Phallophobia Male genitalia

85-87 Primeisodophobia Losing one's virginity

88-90 Proctophobia Rectal intercourse

91 Sarmassophobia Foreplay

92-93 Sexophobia Opposite Sex

94 Spermophobia Semen

95-96 Teratophobia Bearing a monster

97-100 Virgivitiphobia Rape

TABLE: Male Sexual Phobias

Die Male

Roll Sexual Phobias Fear of

01-03 Agrophobia Sexual Abuse

04-06 Algophobia Sexual Pain

07-09 Anuptophobia Being single

10-11 Aphenophobia Physical Contact

12-14 Coitophobia Sex

15-17 Coitus Oralis Oral sex

18-20 Cyprianophobia Prostitutes

21-23 Cypridophobia Venerial Disease

24-25 Ejacuphobia Ejaculation

26-28 Esodophobia Virginity

29-31 Eurotophobia Female Genetalia

32-37 Gamophobia Marriage

38-39 Gymnophobia Naked Bodies

40-44 Gynophobia Women

45-48 Hedonophobia Pleasure

49-53 Malaxophobia Flirting

54-59 Medomalacophobia Losing an erection

60-62 Merinthophobia Being bound

63-67 Necrophobia Sex with the dead

68-71 Oneirogmophobia Wet dreams

72-76 Paraphobia Sexual perversions

77-80 Parenthenophobia Young girls, usually virgins

81-85 Penis Captivas Having one's penis held tightly be

vaginal muscles

86-89 Primeisodophobia Losing one's virginity

90-92 Proctophobia Rectal intercourse

93-95 Sarmassophobia Foreplay

96-97 Sexophobia Opposite sex

98-100 Venustaphobia Beautiful women

Unus-????mania - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a particular type of creature. The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce this type of creature (still of the opposite sex), whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. When he/she has sex with such a creature, he/she likes the creature to do weird things relative to the creature's abilities and talents (see example below). Of course some creatures maybe harder to get a hold of then others. The table below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any creatures he wants. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is desired:

Mania

Roll Name (????) Type of Creature

1 Daemon Demons *

2 Dimidiuselfe Half-elves

3 Divus Dieties, Demigods, etc

4 Draco Dragons *

5 Druidae Druids

6 Elfe Elves *

7 Giant Giants *

8 Gnome Gnomes

9 Gobla Goblins

10 Gole Golems *

11 Halfline Halflings

12 Homo Humans *

13 Lycanthrope Lycanthropes *

14 Magus Mages

15 Nanus Dwarfs *

16 Nequam Rogues

17 Ogra Ogres

18 Pugna Fighters

19 Sacerdos Clerics

20 Vates Bards

* can be specific type

Example: A person with unus-sacerdosmania insanity will have a desire to have sex with clerics. When having sex with cleric, he/she might want the cleric to pray. A person with unus-pugnamania will only have sex with fighters and might want the fighter to punch, scratch, and wrestle during sex. A person with unus-vatesmania will only have sex with bards and might want the bard to sing during sex.

Uridpsomania - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have the desire to drink the urine of his/her partner. Check for an unhealthy disease each time he/she drinks.

Voyeurism - The person affected by this insanity only has pleasure from observing the other's sexual organs or people having sex, especially in secret.

Zoophilia - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a particular type of normal animal. The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce this type of animal (still of the opposite sex), whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. The table below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any animals he wants. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is desired:

Roll Animal Roll Animal

1 dog 11 mule

2 horse 12 wolverine

3 pig 13 rhinoceros

4 cat 14 hippopotamus

5 monkey 15 boar

6 bear 16 bull

7 elephant 17 buffalo

8 skunk 18 goat

9 camel 19 sheep

10 lion 20 roll twice -ignore this

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ON SEX AND SEXUALITY IN THE REALMS

"In general, there is a continent in the Realms is marked by sexual equality; females and males are equally educated, respected, valued, and eligible for all roles in society. This applies just as well to southern lands, in which men often have several wives while women have only one husband, although the Northerners and Southerners often misunderstand each others' social structures. This is typical of a widespread phenomenon throughout the Realms: in matters of courtship, marriage, sex, and reproduction, as in most matters, there is enough adventuring and trade that people are familiar with many foreign customs; nevertheless, most people consider their own customs to be civilized and proper, while all other customs are unjust and barbarian.

There is a strong emphasis placed on the importance of marriage throughout the Realms, although courtship, marriage ceremonies, and family structures vary considerably. Marriage may be conducted by clerics of almost every church, and the marriages of all faiths are considered equally valid and binding. While sex is generally considered more blessed after marriage, there is very little social stigma in the lands of Faerun placed on premarital sex between consenting hetero-sexual adults. The prevailing attitude seems to be that a young woman and young man will choose (or be chosen for) one another, and that the same mutual feelings that would inspire them to have sex will lead them to want to be married.

Of course, this ideal is often not satisfied. Trysts, whether tragic or comically gone awry, are a favorite subject of bards. Rape is all too common, and is strongly condemned by agents of Good, Chaos, and Law, as violations of personal rights, individual autonomy, and stable social order, respectively.

Two variations in particular of this ideal face strong societal disapproval: interracial and homosexual relations. Interracial marriages are tacitly considered inferior. The elf who marries a human is considered to have married beneath her station; her spouse will die while she is still young, and her half-elven children will face great discrimination and will never fully be able to participate in their elven heritage. Similarly, half-orcs are considered somehow even more tainted than orcs, possibly because of the unspoken assumption that they are not only half-breed, but the half-breed offspring of rape.

On a related note, although it is common knowledge that many people and beasts of the Realms owe their existence to crossbreeding of different species, we do not presently have an adequate explanation for why some species can crossbreed with others and some can not, nor why some crossbreeds, like mules, are sterile, and others, like half-elves, are not.

Homosexual couples are almost unheard of in the Realms, and then they are a matter of scorn. Elm's scribe, is widely rumored to be Elm's lover, and the arrangement is only tolerated because of Elm's unapproachable high status and legendary eccentricity. Otherwise, homo- sexuality is only discussed in malicious gossip and histories of family scandals.

Homosexuals are, however, rumored to be found in disproportionatly high numbers among certain groups, such as adventurers, who have often been driven to adventure because they couldn't quite fit into normal society, and the priesthoods of faiths which require celibacy, since the priests never need to explain their lack of interest in conventional marriage. Of course, most people believe homosexuality to be more common in groups they with which they have formed rivalries or are actively hostile. Organized groups are said to have formed in large cities, but their memberships and activities are highly guarded secrets. Little scholarly data are known about the actual frequency of homosexuals in the Realms, or about their relative distribution among men, among women, and among the various races, nations, and occupations.

Sexual matters are not in the explicit portfolio of any major god in the Realms, although strong cases might be made for the bewitching goddess of beauty, and the sado-masochistically appealing goddess of pain. A small cult has begun to grow praising the name of the Lord of Sex and Carnality, whom I take to be either a new lesser power or else a more explicitly sexual aspect of a more established god.

The use of magic in sex has been extremely limited, due in part to people's understandable reluctance to let mages or clerics experiment on their sexual organs or psyches. The spells listed above should be considered extremely rare. After all, only homosexuals and virulent homo-phoebes would be likely to have spent their lives researching spells concerning alternative sexualities, and even if such people are not as uncommon as we think, they are certainly difficult to discover. Most of the other known spells either use people's sexual desire as a weapon against them, or show a marked obsession with artificially enhancing the spellcaster's own sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, rare are sexual spells designed to help others overcome sexual dysfunctions or to enhance others' sexual pleasure, and it is this sage's humble opinion that the most fruitful sexual research lies in this direction."

- Respectfully compiled by Spelling of Amn,

Scholar, Sage, and Priest of Deneir,

for the Preservation of Knowledge

and Augmentation of Wisdom in the Realms

- Reproduced for his Compatriot, Rick Dechance

SPELLS WITH ZIP

All spells are listed for magic-users, but most can be easily adjusted for clerical use and should be changed if need be.

Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level accordingly.

Also, some may feel that certain spells are to powerful for the level given. Before making such judgements, a person should examine other spells of the same level and the level above.

Level 0 - Cantrip

Arousal Delay Orgasm

Know Sexual Preference Mordenkainen's Lubrication

Mount Pillow Talk

Slap Sterility

Sexual Attraction Tweak/Goose

Unbutton/Unlace Wet Dream

Level 1

Annihilator's Penis of Power! Blown Kiss

Change Sexual Preference Charm Man I

Davenet's Seduction Divine Sexual Orientation

Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss Ecstasy

Fascination Flash

Freudian Thoughts Fyltar's Pheromonal Force

Impotence Kiss of Charm

Kiss Of Sleeping Kiss Of Wounding

Masturbation Power Word, Rut

PMS Reverse Sexual Orientation

Revulsion Seduce Undead

Seduction I Skank

Level 2

Chastity Constant Orgasm

Contraception Dance of Charm

Homophobia Jealously

Layla's Good Morning Kiss Kiss Of Weakness

Neville's Wandering Hand Pornographic Glamer

Protection From Intoxication Sexify/Enhance Comeliness

Sleep Theft Transfer Charm

Vampiric Kiss Voyeur

Level 3

Kiss Of Slavery Kiss of Intoxication

Leomund's Tiny Brothel Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes

Sex Slave Stanza's Diseased Kiss

Obsession Prowess

Level 4

Angel's Negation Become Phantasmal Lover

Bybig's Bitch Slap Layla's Morning After Kiss

Layla's Seductive Impersonation Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity

Lovesickness Power Word, Strip

Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease

Level 5

Embarrassing Fetish Layla's Beautification

Reverse Gender Orientation Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss...

Level 6

Conjure Succubus/Incubus Prismatic Dildo

Sex Change

Level 7

Impregnate Layla's Seductive Shapechange

Level 8

Kiss Of The Nereid Power Word, Castrate

Level 9

Heartbreaker Kiss Of Death

Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair Summon Cissaldan

Arousal (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: Cantrip

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: creature touched

Save: Neg.

This spell creates a state of extreme horniness in the affected creature, including both biological and physiological effects, although said horniness is not directed towards anyone or anything in particular. The reverse of this spell, Disinterest, completely snuffs out any lust the recipient might be feeling. The material component for this spell is a sprig of mistletoe.

Contraception (Abjuration)

Level: Cantrip

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: None

An alternative to the Sterility Cantrip for GMs that don't like 100% protection. This cantrip significantly decreases the probability of fertilization following coitus. This cantrip is cast after sexual activity. In some cases this may not be Lawful, and in some may not be considered Good. The cantrip is also not entirely perfect, offering only 95% certainty, according to the following table:

Roll % Result

01-95 no fertilization

96 no fertilization anyway

97 one zygote

98 two zygotes (possibly identical)

99 1d6 zygotes

00 both partners pregnant (magic gone awry)

The material component for this spell is a red cape or a red riding hood.

Delay Orgasm (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.

This cantrip delays any orgasm by 1 round per level of the caster. Thus, if the TTC indicates an orgasm, it doesn't go into effect until +1 round/level.

Know Sexual Preference (Divination) Reversible

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature per 2 rounds

Save: Neg.

This cantrip enables the wizard to read the aura of a creature. The caster must remain stationary and concentrate on the subject for two full rounds. A creature is allowed a save vs. spell and, if successful, the caster learns nothing about the particular creature from the casting. Certain magical devices negate this cantrip.

The reverse, undetectable sexual alignment, conceals the sexual preference of a creature for 24 hours - even from a know sexual preference cantrip.

Mordenkainen's Lubrication (Conjuration)

Level: Cantrip

Range: 1 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 10 minutes/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 10" X 3" (rumor has it that Mordenkainen

needed this large amount of coverage)

Save: None

This cantrip covers an organic surface with a slippery layer of a greasy nature.

Mount (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 hours/level

Casting Time: 1 turn

Area of Effect: 1 mount

Save: None

By means of this cantrip, the caster conjures a very attractive person of the opposite sex to serve him/her. The person serves willingly and well, but at the expiration of the cantrip duration it disappears, returning to its own place. The mount does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts.

This cantrip was created by conjurer apprentices to practice their art. It is only a cantrip because the conjured being, only serves one purpose (a fun purpose, but not a practical purpose).

Pillow Talk (Alteration)

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 pillow

Save: None

When this cantrip is cast, the wizard imbues the chosen pillow with an enchanted mouth. The mouthed pillow will only speak about sexual topics. The wizard has the option at cast time to decide the level of vargarity. The level varies from perverse smut to intellectual discussions on sexual techniques.

Slap (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Neg.

Explanation: The victim of this spell feels a forceful slap across the cheek. Creatures must save vs. spell or be distracted for one segment, dazed by the blow (lose concentration of spells, etc.).

Sterility (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 30 minutes/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: None

This cantrip is the mages' form of birth control. It is 100% accurate and can be performed on anybody who consents to it prior to sexual activity. Clerics have high level spells to accomplish this, but only mages have such a simplistic form of birth control.

Sexual Attraction (All Schools) Reversible

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 30 minutes/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: None

This cantrip causes the recipient to gain a +1 modifier for every three levels of the mage to charisma with respect to having sex. Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects of charisma; only sex.

Most mages cast the cantrip on his/her partner, so the partner is more desirable thus making it easier for the mage to perform.

The reverse of this cantrip is Sexual Disgust. The modifier is -1 for every three levels of the mage rather than +1.

Tweak/Goose (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Special

This cantrip causes the victim to feel the sensation of being "tweaked" or "goosed" as if by an unseen forefinger and thumb. The portion of the body being tweaked must be seen by the caster and be uncovered by armor. Victim's who are spellcasters must either save vs. spell or make an Intelligence check to avoid losing concentration. Other intelligent, small, and medium sized creatures must make same save/check or be distracted for one segment. The caster must make a tweaking motion with his hand in order to affect the spell.

Unbutton/Untie (Alteration) Reversible

Level: Cantrip

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instant

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One object

Save: None

By means of this cantrip, the caster can magically cause the object of the magic - thread, string, cord, rope, button - to untie or unbutton itself. The reverse ties or buttons the object.

A stronger spell in the works is Power Word: Disrobe.

Wet Dream (Invocation/Illusion)

Level: Cantrip

Range: Special

Components: V, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1 round

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This cantrip consists of a whispered word to another individual, who will not hear or understand the word, and who will experience a dream erotic enough to produce orgasm the next time that person falls asleep. The material component is a feather tinged with blood.

Annihilator's Penis of Power! (Evocation)

Level: 1

Range: 18" or less (usually much less for many spell-casters)

Components: V, S

Duration: till the mage is done

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: obvious

Save: Special

With this spell the caster (male) empowers his penis with a steel-hard covering able to withstand any Bobbit attack or penis-puncturing device. Also, it is powerful enough to rupture most chastity belts, magic ones get a save at -4. It is also a benefit for those who suffer impotence, and has been rumored to assist in preventing sexually- transmitted diseases and pre-mature ejaculation! A spell to truly share with friends!

Don't ask what the somatic gestures are.

Blown Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: 12 feet

Components: S

Duration: --

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: --

Save: --

This spell enhances a kissing spell by allowing its range to become long range instead of by touch. This spell must be cast 1 round prior to the kissing spell. Any kissing spell may be used in conjunction with this spell. Note that this allows the caster to blow a kiss to those that may not desire one. Thus, the problems with physical contact during combat and such have been eliminated.

Change Sexual Preference (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: 120 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Neg.

This spell affects any single person it is cast upon. The term person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or humanoid of man-size or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, halflings, kobolds, and others.

The person receives a save vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any adjustment due to Wisdom. If the person receives damage from the caster's group in the same round the spell is cast, an additional bonus of +1 per hit point of damage received is added to the victim's save.

If the spell recipient fails his save, his sexual preference is changed to the opposite. Thus a man who liked women would now prefer other men.

The duration of the spell is a function of the charmed person's Intelligence and is tied to the save. The spell may be broken if a successful save is rolled, and this save is checked on a periodic basis, according to the creature's Intelligence (see following table).

Intelligence Score Time Between Checks

3 or less 3 months

4 to 6 2 months

7 to 9 1 month

10 to 12 3 weeks

13 to 14 2 weeks

15 to 16 1 week

17 3 days

18 2 days

19 or more 1 day

The GM must make sure that the spell recipient adheres to the effects of the spell, but it isn't necessary to go into detail.

Charm Man I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: 16 feet radius

Components: V, S

Duration: 1d4+1 turns

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: 1d4+4 men of 3 HD/level or lower

Save: see below

This spell is used by witches and houris, but other clever mages should be able to adjust the spell for their needs. A witch must have a Charisma score of at least 11 to cast this spell.

It affects victims the same as a charm person spell. If there is a leader with a group of men, he may dispel the charm if his charisma plus a roll of 1d8 is six points or more higher than the witch's charisma. If the spell is not dispelled by a leader, each man within the area of effect must attempt a save vs. spells. A successful save negates the effect of the spell for that man only. If there are more men within range than a maximum number who can be affected, the spell is directed against the lower-level men first. The spell won't work on any man who has taken damage from any other action of the same witch during the current encounter.

There are four level variations of this spell (Charm Man II at third level, Charm Man III at fifth level). They are listed here instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the difference in duration and area of effect are as followed:

Charm Man II - 1d6+4 turns 1d6+6 men of 4 HD/level or lower

Charm Man III - 1d8+4 turns 1d8+8 men of 5 HD/level or lower

Charm Man IV - 1d10+4 turns 1d10+10 men of 6 HD/level or lower

Charm Man V - 1d12+4 turns 1d12+12 men of 8 HD/level or lower

Davenet's Seduction (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: Special

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Permanent or until dispelled

Casting time: 1 hour

Area of Effect: One person

Save: see below

The spellcaster may affect one individual of the opposite sexual orientation to become enamored with the spellcaster and willingly subject to all of his/her commands. That the victim has been seduced (magically or otherwise) will be readily apparent to those who make a successful wisdom check. In order to cast the spell, the spellcaster must extract a personal item of the victim's, and then cast the spell onto the item in solitude. When the item is given back to the victim and recognized, the spell is complete.

The victim is allowed a special save on a d20 based on intelligence. The roll is modified by adding the victim's wisdom and subtracting the spellcaster's apparent charisma (OPTIONAL: comeliness). The spell is effective until dispelled.

While under the enchantment, the victim will take as gospel everything the spellcaster says, and will strive to protect and defend the spellcaster at all times. If the spell is broken by another magic or by the will of the enchanter, however, the victim will remember everything and know that magic was involved.

Divine Sexual Orientation (Divination) Reversible

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None

This spell reveals the hetero- or homo-sexuality of a given creature of a species with two genders. The material component is a clear, colorless gem, which changes colors as follows:

red totally heterosexual

orange strongly heterosexual

yellow bisexual leaning towards hetero-

green 50/50 bisexual

blue bisexual leaning towards homo-

violet strongly homosexual

ultraviolet totally homosexual

* Sage's note: This is simply the Kinsey scale of sexuality.

In normal daylight, of course, ultraviolet will not show clearly, and will appear to anyone without infravision as lavender. The creature being scried must be alive and visible to the caster. The method of sight -infravision, scrying, clairvoyance, etc. - does not matter. Portraits, illusions, or statues, however, will not suffice. The gem will remain white, indicating spell failure, if the creature is asexual, its attractions are completely unrelated to gender, or is magically protected, as by the reverse spell, Hide Sexual Orientation, which conceals sexual orientation from magical or psionic detection for 24 hours.

Sage's note: although psionics are still a young and arcane discipline in the Realms, it has been demonstrated that the psionic science of Aura Sight can reveal sexual orientation, especially when the subject has expended a great deal of psychic energy on sex or sexuality.

Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None

When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). The mage is in control and can decided how long to kiss. After the kiss, both the mage and the victim are stunned for 1 segment per round of kissing.

Ecstasy (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: 5 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 person

Save: Neg.

The gestures of the wizard, along with his erotic incantations causes the person to go into an enjoyable, screaming, orgasmatic, erotic fit. The term person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or humanoid of giant-size or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, halflings, kobolds, and others.

The person receives a save vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any adjustment to Wisdom. If the person fails the save, he/she loses all dexterity bonuses to armor class. Also, he/she cannot move from his/her current location. He/she cannot cast spells, attack, use items, etc. Basically, the character is caught up in a real pleasurable experience and can't function properly.

Fascination (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: 12 feet

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 20 turns

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

The affecting person will be unable to do anything at all except follow the mage wherever she/he goes, unable to take his/her eyes off her/him. If attacked, the affected will try to beat off any opponents, including his own comrades, in a berserk fury (+1 to hit, -1 to AC) in order to continue moving towards the mage.

Flash (Enchantment)

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature per level of the caster

Save: 1/2 duration

In casting this spell, the mage must expose a body part (knee, thigh, shoulder, or something more sensitive, as the caster desires) and call out something appropriate. It will only affect members of the opposite sex or homosexuals. It will cause all creatures affected to be stunned by the incredible attractiveness of the body part they have just seen exposed.

Freudian Thoughts (Invocation/Illusion)

Level: 1

Range: Within hearing range of the subject

Components: V, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

Sage's Note: This is a great role-playing vehicle for some players if there characters get this spell cast on them. It could be real fun having a pervert for a character.

A person subject to this spell begins consciously and subconsciously to interpret everything in sexual terms. For example, the subject would perceive a sword attack not only as melee but also as an attempted rape by a male, and would experience eating a taco as... well, you get the idea.

The material component is the caster's holy symbol, and the verbal component is a lewd innuendo.

Fyltar's Pheromonal Force (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 10 yards

Save: Neg.

This spell functions as the Arousal cantrip (see above) with two minor adjustments. First, creatures which cannot smell are automatically unaffected. Secondly, it raises the morale of all affected creatures by 1d4. The material component is a rose petal, crushed during casting.

Impotence (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: 5 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 10 rounds/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.

This spell enables the spell caster to render one creature, himself or otherwise, impotent (incapable of sexual intercourse). The material component is a bucket of cold water. The incantation consists of a specific personality (such as "Baba Yaga") who might be unappealing to the creature. The save is actually a check on the disgust the personality generates in the creature. If the creature finds the person repulsive, he fails the save.

OPTIONAL EFFECT: During the period of impotence, the creature will attack at -2 and make morale and saves at -2. Wisdom, Constitution, and Charisma scores will be lowered by 1-3 points each for the duration of the spell. Also, during this time the creature will feel downright miserable.

Kiss of Charm (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

This subtle spell works like a charm person spell, except that the target must be male and that the caster must be female and kiss her target. The target saves at -2. Otherwise this spell acts just like a charm person spell.

Kiss Of Sleeping (Enchantment/Charm) Reversible

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 10/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None

When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). After the kiss, the victim goes into a deep comatose slumber.

Slapping or wounding awakens the affected creature but normal noise does not. Awakening requires one entire round.

The reverse of this spell is Kiss Of Awakening which will awaken a person who is magically asleep.

Kiss Of Wounding (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: 1/2

When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). This kiss causes the victim to suffer 1d3 hit points of damage, plus 3 points for each level of experience of the spellcaster, to a maximum of 1d3+20 points. Those successfully saving vs. spell receive half damage.

Masturbation (Enchantment)

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.

This spell causes the horniness of Arousal with the added irresistible urge to masturbate with any and all external sexual organs. This spell functions like a combination of an Arousal cantrip with a command to "masturbate!" If no appendages are free for this purpose, the subject will rub the sexual organs against any nearby functional object. The material component is two pieces of cloth, rubbed quickly against one another.

Power Word, Rut (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1

Range: 5 yards/two level

Components: V

Duration: 1 hour/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One male mammal

Save: None

When this spell is cast, the recipient gains a condition of sexual excitement and productive activity. This reflects in the recipient as a gain a +2 modifier for every three levels of the mage to dexterity with respect to having sex. Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects of dexterity; only sex. Also due to his hyper state, the recipient gains a +1 to hit. Furthermore, two points of intelligence and one point of wisdom is lost; and one point of charisma is gained. These bonuses end when the spell ends.

PMS (Conjuration) Reversible

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: one creature

Save: 1/2

PMS causes the subject to experience an unceasing, agonizing, dull throbbing pain throughout the groin and lower abdomen, as though all the muscles in that area were clenched like a vise. THAC0 and all saves are treated as if the subject were one level lower (a 0th-level or 1st-level character automatically misses or fails), and Constitution and Charisma are reduced by 1 for the duration of the spell. A successful save results in a nagging headache reducing Constitution and Charisma by 1 for the duration of the spell.

Reverse Sexual Orientation (Alteration)

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Special; see below

This spell temporarily converts a creature's sexual orientation from hetero- to homo-sexual, or vice versa. A bisexual who favors one gender will now favor the other, and a bisexual equally disposed towards both genders will be unaffected. Asexual creatures or creatures of species with more than two genders will be affected, if at all, by GM's discretion.

There is no save per se against this spell. Rather, upon first experiencing sexual attraction in the altered way, or upon first questioning one's unexpected lack of accustomed sexual attraction, the subject, if strenuously disapproving, is allowed a Constitution check at -4. A successful Constitution check will experience a strong but repressive erotic attraction towards a single individual for 1 round/level of the spellcaster, after which the effects permanently vanish. A new Constitution check may be made once per day, but with a cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A check of 1 always succeeds.

The material component is a concave lump of clay which the caster re-molds into a convex lump.

Revulsion (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: creature touched

Save: Neg.

Successful casting of the Revulsion spell leaves the recipient disgusted to the point of nausea at any prospect of engaging in sexual activities of any kind, no matter how minor. The reverse of this spell, Indifference, eliminates any negative thoughts or feelings the recipient may have and replaces them with utter indifference. The material component of this spell is a leech or the eye of a tuna.

Seduce Undead (Necromancy)

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 24 hours

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 undead + (1 undead /

every 2 levels above 9th of the caster)

Save: None

This spell creates a standing order with one (or more) undead to engage in sexual behavior of the caster's choice with the caster. The undead will make no effort to harm the caster, although disease from a zombie's touch or mummy rot, for example, may (un)naturally occur. Each orgasm achieved by the caster causes 1d6 damage to the undead. The material component is a drop of semen mixed with menstrual blood.

Seduction I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 turns or until dispelled

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person (4 HD/levels or less)

Save: see below

This spell is used by witches (some warlocks have customized it for their use). This spell causes the affected person to cast aside all weapons, armor, and clothing, in an attempt to seduce the witch, leaving the victim virtually defenseless against attacks from the witch or any other character or creature. Immediately after the spell wears off or is dispelled, the victim can retrieve one of his dropped weapons on a roll of 11 or more on 1d20. If the roll is 16 or more, the victim may also retrieve a shield or helmet. Rolls may be repeated each round until successful, as long as the victim stays within grasping range of the weapon or other object to be recovered.

Saves are a straight throw versus spells, modified by Wisdom only (no magical protection device apply). Furthermore, the victim saves at -1 for every two points of Charisma of the caster above 12, rounded up (i.e. -1 at charisma 13 or 14, -2 at 15 or 16, -3 at 17 or 18). This save gives characters or creatures with a decent Wisdom a better chance of save vs. spells, tones the power down a bit, and makes the calculation of saves much easier than the original method that appears below.

ALTERNATIVE SAVE: The save for this spell is computed by adding the seduction spell level (1 through 8) to the charisma score of the witch and subtracting the wisdom score of the intended victim. The resulting number is used as a modifier (plus or minus) to a roll of 1d20. The adjusted die roll must be equal to or greater than a certain number, depending on the class of the intended victim, for the save to be successful. Fighters need a 13 to save, rogues need a 12, mages need a 9, and clerics need a 8.

There are seven level variations of this spell (Seduction II at second level, Seduction III at third level). They are listed here instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the difference in area of effect are as followed:

Seduction II - One person (6 HD/levels or less)

Seduction III - One person (8 HD/levels or less)

Seduction IV - One person (10 HD/levels or less)

Seduction V - One person (12 HD/levels or less)

Seduction VI - One person (14 HD/levels or less)

Seduction VII - One person (16 HD/levels or less)

Seduction VIII - One person (18 HD/levels or less)

Skank (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 5 rounds/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Save: Neg.

This spell turns an innocent, sweet person into a wild and crazy nymphomaniac. The affected person will be struck by the nymphomania insanity for the duration of the spell.

This spell is very popular with apprentices at school who like to cast it on snaughty, preppy girls.

Chastity (Abjuration) Reversible

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Save: Neg.

This spell compels the affected creature to abstain completely from any and all forms of sexual activity, including looking appreciatively but with sexual undertones, going to whatever lengths necessary to avoid anything which might lead to lust. The reverse, Promiscuity, compels the subjects to attempt to engage in their most preferred sexual activities as much and as quickly as possible. The material component of this spell is a small silver key.

Constant Orgasm (Evocation)

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: 1/2

This spell causes the recipient to begin to orgasm, repeatedly, and with great enjoyment, until the subject's body is no longer capable of sustaining orgasm. The duration is based on level, but medically speaking, it could end when the body collapses from exhaustion, or (for males) when the body can produce no more seminal fluid. The GM may wish to add possible negative modifiers for combat, movement, etc. because of the victim's excited state. A successful save results in a single orgasm of normal duration.

Dance of Charm (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 2

Range: 10 yards

Components: S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: Variable

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

This spell charms one person of the opposite sex selected by the caster. It is subtle, and its casting cannot be detected before it is completed. The caster dances a seductive dance and disrobes while doing so. For every round he/she dances, a -1 penalty is imposed on the save.

Homophobia (Abjuration) Convertible

Level: 2

Range: 20 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

Homophobia causes a person, regardless of orientation, to become angry and nauseous at the concept or sight of any person or behavior which might be construed as homosexual. The subject will attempt to evade and void any such thing and, if evasion proves impossible, hostile and even violent.

Homosexuals affected by this spell will be constantly ill at ease. The converse spell, Heterophobia, has exactly the same effects, except that the aversion is towards heterosexuals and heterosexuality. The material component is a lump of moldy cheese shaped like a triangle (or a square, for the converse).

Jealousy (Alteration)

Level: 2

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 turns + 1 turn/level

Casting time: 2

Area of Effect: 1-6 persons

Save: Neg.

The affected people will become jealous of each other to the extent that they will ignore the mage or any other source of danger present and quarrel amongst themselves. There is a chance equal to the mage's intelligence of such an argument leading to blows and, if it does, there is an additional chance equal to the mage's intelligence of the fight being to the death. If the fight is not to the death, then the combatants will come out of the spell when hit.

Layla's Good Morning Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None

This spell wakes up a normally sleeping creature and causes it to be favourably disposed toward the caster for 1d6 turns. It also removes any natural hangovers.

Kiss Of Weakness (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). This kiss causes the victim to lose 2d4 points of Strength for 24 hours. After receiving such a kiss, the victim will be completely helpless for 1d10 turns.

Neville's Wandering Hand (Enchantment)

Level: 2

Range: 20 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.

Neville's Wandering Hand is named not after its inventor, but its first victim: Neville, high priest of Torm, who suddenly found himself unable to keep from groping and otherwise feeling up the young nubile acolyte he was initiating into the order. (We hear that his latest missionary assignment to the Icewind Dale is going nicely.) The material component is a leaf of poison ivy.

Protection From Intoxication (Abjuration)

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 hour/level

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell causes the recipient to be immune to the effects of any kind of alcohol. It also grants immunity to the Houri spell Kiss of Intoxication.

Pornographic Glamer (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 2

Range: Special

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting Time: 2

Area of Effect: Within a 10'x10' vertical square

Save: Neg.

This spell creates a very convincing, erotic illusion with the phantasmal effect of an Arousal cantrip nobody who would ordinarily be sexually excited by engaging in the behavior or by the objects or people being viewed. The illusion includes visual and auditory effects only.

Sexify/Enhance Comeliness (Alteration)

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting time: 2

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

The recipient of this spell undergoes a transformation in appearance to become more sexually attractive to members of the opposite gender no matter what the recipient's initial comeliness. Looks, smell, smoothness, and even taste of the outer skin are all effected. The recipient's comeliness is effected as follows:

Caster's

Level Comeliness Duration

01 14 10 minutes

02 15 20 minutes

03 16 30 minutes

04 17 1 hour

05 18 2 hours

06 19 4 hours

07 20 8 hours

08 21 16 hours

09 22 1 day

10 23 2 days

11 24 4 days

12 25 8 days

13 26 16 days

14 27 32 days

15 28 64 days

16 29 128 days

17+ 30 256 days

Note that if two mages cast the spell on a person simultaneously, then their levels may be added together to effect a stronger magic. Further, this spell has the effect of negating any curse magic which degrades the recipient's natural beauty.

The material component of this spell is a cosmetic and perfume kit magically prepared by a thaumaturger.

Sleep Theft (Alteration/Necromantic)

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: Special

Area of Effect: Special

Save: None

This spell allows the caster to steal sleeping time from their sexual partner. The caster makes love with a person, and once that person's climaxes he/she falls asleep for one hour per caster level, to a maximum of 12 hours. The caster is refreshed just as if she had slept for that length of time.

Transfer Charm (Enchantment/Alteration)

Level: 2

Range: 10 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: as for the spell transferred

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell allows a caster of higher level to subvert previous magical charms to his own purposes. For example: Erin, a second level mage casts Charm Person on a Bryce, who becomes charmed. Anna, a third level mage casts Transfer Charm onto Bryce, whereupon Bryce becomes Charmed to Anna. However, Deneira, another third level mage, cannot Transfer the charm to herself, as she is not higher level than Anna.

Vampiric Kiss (Necromancy)

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 1 round/level

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None

When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim on the neck and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). After the kiss, the victim will lose 2 hit points per round. The caster will receive one of those hit points per round if he/she is not at maximum hit points already.

Voyeur (Alteration)

Level: 2

Range: 20 feet

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 2 rounds/level

Casting time: 2

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

A voyeur is a person who derives sexual gratification from observing the sex organs especially in secret. Thus, this spell allows the wizard to see through a person's clothing and examine sexual organs. Of course the gratification part must be achieved solely by the mage. The material component of the spell is a small piece of cloth and a small piece of glass.

Kiss of Intoxication (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: 1 turn/level of the caster

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell causes the victim to become completely drunk. He/she enters a state of great intoxication.

Kiss Of Slavery (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). This is actually a Charm Person spell with no save. Checks to break such a charm are made after twice the normal duration. The victim of this spell will obey any order unquestioningly.

Leomund's Tiny Brothel (Alteration)

Level: 3

Range: 0

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level

Casting time: 3

Area of Effect: 15-foot-diameter sphere

Save: None

When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque, sound-proof field of any desired color around his person. Up to 7 other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and these can freely pass into and out of the brothel without harming it, but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell dissipate.

The temperature inside the hut is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny brothel also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust, sandstorms, and the like. The hut can withstand any wind of less than hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than that destroys it.

The interior of the hut is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired. The floor of the hut is soft and springy. Nice big cushy pillows are also in the brothel. The spellcaster can cause the brothel play soft romantic music upon command. Note that although the force field is opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within. Missiles, weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the hut without affecting it, although the occupants cannot be seen from outside the hut. The hut can be dispelled.

The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that shatters when the spell duration expires or the brothel is dispelled, the hair of a prostitute, and a feather (duck feathers work best).

Obsession (Enchantment)

Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: Person touched

Save: Neg.

A person under the effect of Obsession is overwhelmed by the erotic desire for some animate creature chosen by the spellcaster. A "crush" does not begin to describe the effect. The creature must be such that the affected person might feel some attraction towards it under normal circumstances, and the affected person will not act contrary to alignment or personal ethic. The material component is a crushed walnut.

Prowess (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: 24 hours

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None (None for reverse as well)

This spell impressively enhances the size, shape, technique, stamina, and eroticism of the affected creature with respect to organs and matters sexual. Affected creatures are treated as having a Charisma of 18 by anyone they cruise or flirt with, they become stunningly well- endowed, and they are capable of engaging in extremely hot sex without rest (bonus of +level X 1d4) to all sexual rolls.

The reverse, Impotence, makes the subject flirt like a clod, dance like an orc, and seduce like a used-chariot salesman. The subject will experience appropriate withering, shrinking, and sagging, and will be unable to achieve erection or lubrication. Affected creatures are treated as having a Charisma of 3 by anyone they cruise or flirt with. Orgasm is either impossible or else premature and highly unsatisfying.

The material component is a leaf of mint.

Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 3

Range: 5 yards/level

Components: V, S

Duration: 2 rds/level

Casting time: 3

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

This spell, devised by my gnome illusionist primarily as a good prank spell, causes all of the target's clothing and bodily possessions to become invisible, but not the target itself. The target sees his or her clothes as they normally are. Swords in scabbards are considered bodily possessions, but not if in hand. Any clothes put on after the spell is cast do not become invisible. Invisible items remain so until the for the duration of the spell or dispelled.

Sex Slave (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 day/level

Casting Time: 3

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Neg.

This very powerful spell reduces a living, intelligent person into a lascivious, nymphomaniac sex slave whose only interest is bringing the caster to orgasm after creative orgasm. Once the spell has transpired, the former slave remembers everything that has happened. However, the subject while enslaved will not only not object but will enthusiastically agree with every sexual suggestion made short of death. This spell is unequivocally evil.

Stanza's Diseased Kiss (Necromancy)

Level: 3

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent until cured

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

This spell causes one randomly chosen normal sexual disease in the victim.

Angel's Negation (Enchantment/Abjuration)

Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell instantly negates the obsessive-compulsive behaviour caused by a Seducer, and renders the recipient immune to the non-magical charms of that Seducer.

Become Phantasmal Lover (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 4

Range: 5 yards /level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Until the next morning

Casting Time: As long as it takes (see below)

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Special

When this spell is cast, the wizard causes his features to shift in the mind of his victim to conform to those of an individual that the victim considers to the ultimate lover. Once the spell is successfully cast (and the save varies according to the amount of preparation in casting the spell), the recipient will be putty in the hands of the caster, not out of enchantment but only out of the recipient's own sense of wish-fulfillment.

This spell takes as much time to cast as it takes to get the recipient drunk. The more thoroughly tanked the recipient gets, the worse will be the save:

had a serving of alcohol -1

Slightly intoxicated -2

Moderately intoxicated -4

Greatly intoxicated -8

The material component of this spell is large quantities of alcohol, which must be passed through the gullet of the recipient.

Bybig's Bitch Slap (Evocation)

Level: 4

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting time: 4

Area of Effect: One female

Save: Neg.

A version of the Bybig's Hand spells (although probably not from Bybig). A quasi-real hand (five feet) comes into existence and smacks the nearest women that the caster commands it to. If the woman knows her place is in the kitchen, the hand only does 1 point of damage as a reminder. However if the woman has complained, whined or not been to the kitchen in three days, the hand instantly grows to the size of a Titan hand (25 feet) and knocks the woman into the nearest kitchen (be it 10 feet or 10000 miles) and forces her to cook a three course meal. If she continuously refuses, the hand will inflict damage on her until she submits (GM's decision on damage per hit).

The hand has as many hit points as the caster in full health and has an Armor Class of 0.

The material component of the spell is a leather glove.

Layla's Morning After Kiss (Alteration)

Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

This spell causes a sleeping being to forget up to one turn of action, per level of the caster (the caster may make the window of forgetfulness shorter, if he wishes), that occurred just before he fell asleep. The caster may remove the forgetfulness at will.

Layla's Seductive Impersonation (Alteration)

Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 day/level

Casting Time: 5

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell allows the caster to change his form to that of another seductive being for an extended period of time. He retains all of his own abilities, and gains all of the natural abilities though none of the magical abilities of the creature chosen. There is no danger of identity loss as with a Polymorph. The types of beings that may be impersonated are as follows: dryad, succubus, nereid, sirine, medusa, mermaid, sylph, unicorn, vampire, foxwoman. Other similar beings may be allowed at the discretion of the GM, as the spell works by allowing similar types of creatures to become similar types of creatures, rather than the specific forms being locked into the spell.

Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity (Enchantment/Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell inflicts one random sexual insanity. The reverse spell, Layla's Reforming Kiss, removes one sexually-related insanity. It does not affect any other forms of insanity.

Lovesickness (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 4

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting time: 4

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

This spell makes its recipient become so much in love with the mage that as soon as she/he loses sight of the mage, the victim begins to waste away. The victim stops eating food, turns to drinking, and becomes a general wreck, fighting at a -5. As a result, she/he will die of malnutrition in a number of days equal to her/his Constitution score plus 10, and there is a 10% chance of her/him committing suicide. What's more, if the mage tells her/him to go away, she/he is compelled to do so. This unpleasant condition may wear off as a charm person, but otherwise must be treated by cure disease.

Power Word, Strip (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 4

Range: 10 yards/2 levels

Component: V

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell causes one person to take off all of his armour, clothing, weapons, jewelery, etc. as quickly as possible. [inspired by Tomas from the Unbearable Lightness of Being novel]

Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This spell inflicts one normal sexual disease of the caster's choice. The reverse, Stanza's Kiss of Curing, removes one normal sexual disease.

Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy)

Level: 4

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: Neg.

This spell inflicts one random magical sexual disease.

Embarrassing Fetish (Enchantment)

Level: 5

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day

Casting Time: 8

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Special; see below

Sage's note: this spell leaves much room for creative spellcasting, but is also very restricted and narrowly defined. Please read with care.

With this spell, the caster can instill in one intelligent creature an erotic fascination with a single kind of object, behavior (such that the sight, smell, sound, etc.). A sample of that designated kind of object or behavior arouses the subject uncontrollably, and such that erotic pleasure or orgasm is impossible without the presence of the fetish object or behavior.

Some representative examples of fetish objects are red hair, spiked heels, whips, jewelled short swords, oak leaves, artificial limbs or amputees, green tunics, tuna, cheese, sheep, gnomes, gnolls, red dragons' tongues, royal guards in uniform, children, octogenarians, members of one's immediate family, psionicists, rangers, mermaids, lawful neutrals, and Red Wizards of Thay. Some representative examples of fetish behaviors are having small insects and snails crawl all over one's body, inflicting pain on another person, inflicting pain on oneself, being strangled, strangling another person, being bound, binding another person, being charmed or commanded, staging one's own mock execution, and innkeepers' daughters pouring beer down one's chest.

This spell is extremely versatile and may be made as detailed and kinky as desired. Extremely detailed or nearly impossible fetishes, however, may occur so rarely or be so beyond the capacity of the subject to locate or bring about best psychic readings that the spell has little effect on the subject's life than to create enormous sexual frustration. Danger, pride, and personal cost are not, however, enough to dissuade the subject from the fetish once it has been made available.

This spell cannot create a fetish for an individual person or object ("Carolyn Greycloak" or "the Great Ruby of al-Ghasar," for example). Nor can it, without the aid of another spell, create homosexual desires in a heterosexual, or vice versa.

There is no save per se against the fetish. Rather, upon discovering the fetish, the subject, if strenuously disapproving, is allowed a wisdom check at -4. A successful check leaves the subject humiliated but thereafter free from the fetish. A new Wisdom check may be attempted once per day, but since fetishes gain strength over time, the check suffers a cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A Wisdom check of 1 is always successful.

The material component of this spell is a sample, highly representative object of the fetish, or an enactment of the fetish behavior on the part of the spellcaster.

Layla's Beautification (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 5

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: 1 day/caster's level

Casting Time: 5

Area of Effect: One person

Save: see below

This spell grants the recipient a Comeliness/Beauty of 25+1d6 (maximum of 30), with no save. The reverse, Layla's Uglification, subtracts 2d12 from the victim's Comeliness/Beauty for the same duration. Layla's Uglification has a save.

Reverse Gender Orientation (Alteration)

Level: 5

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day

Casting Time: 5

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: Special; see below

Under the influence of this spell, the subject experiences trans-sexuality, the unshakable conviction that he/she is, despite all biological evidence, of the opposite gender than the true one. The subject cannot disbelieve or be persuaded otherwise, and will immediately adapt hair, clothing, manners, speech, behaviors, etc., accordingly. Notice that males will behave in a feminine rather than an effeminate manner, and similarly for females; the subject has no desire to parody. If the subject's species has more than two genders, the resulting gender orientation is GM's choice. If the species has only one gender, the subject is unaffected.

Like Embarrassing Fetish and Reverse Sexual Orientation, this spell has no save per se. Upon first consciously realizing that one's self-identification as male or female has changed, if the subject strenuously objects, the subject is allowed a Charisma check at -4. A successful Charisma check leaves the subject confused but no longer trans-sexual. A new Charisma check may be made each day, but at a cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A check of 1 always succeeds.

Notice that gender orientation and sexual orientation are different concepts, and that this spell alone will not change orientation. However, the subject will claim a different orientation based on the differently perceived gender. Thus a straight female will consider herself a male who is attracted to men, and therefore a gay man; likewise a lesbian will consider herself a man attracted to women, and hence a straight man.

Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 5

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

This kiss inflicts one magical sexual disease of the caster's choice. The reverse, Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Curing, removes one magical sexual disease.

Conjure Succubus/Incubus (Conjuration/Summoning/Necromancy)

Level: 6

Range: 0

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 6 turns

Area of Effect: Special

Save: None

This spell enables the caster to summon a female or male sexual spirit which is subject to perform the caster's sexual bidding (not combat). The spirit remains until dismissed. Casting this spell causes 1d8 damage to the caster, and each orgasm with the spirit requires a save vs. death magic. Failing this save permanently reduces the caster's Constitution by one point. If the spirit causes someone besides the caster to orgasm, both the caster and the other person must make the save.

This spell serves few purposes except as a sexual perversion of the mage. This spell is always popular amongst Necromancers.

Prismatic Dildo (Conjuration)

Level: 6

Range: 60 yards

Components: V

Duration: 3 rounds/level

Casting Time: 6

Area of Effect: Special

Save: Special

This spell allows the caster to conjure up an opaque object within some orifice of a creature within range, providing the creature with seven different sexual stimuli. Any creature with Constitution under 6 or fewer than 4 Hit Dice is immediately overcome by the sensation and falls orgasming and unconscious for 2d4 turns. Any attempt to remove the dildo only lodges it further, and increases the duration by 2 rounds. The seven colors of the shimmering cylinder function as follows:

Color Order Effect Spell Negated By

Red 1st Pornographic Illusions Disbelief, True Seeing

Orange 2nd Arousal Cantrip Disinterest

Yellow 3rd Expansion/Contraction Hold Person

Green 4th Enigmatic Enema Transmute Water to Dust

Blue 5th Ben-Wa Rotation Chill Touch

Indigo 6th Vibration Irritation

Violet 7th Lubrication Dispel Magic

Each color must be removed in order to negate the dildo before the end of its natural duration. The spellcaster also may dispel the dildo at will. It is rumored that other variations of the Prismatic Dildo exist, both in their effects and their negations.

Sex Change (Alteration, Evocation)

Level: 6

Range: 5 yards/level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Permanent (ALTERNATE: 1 week/level)

Casting time: 6

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.

This spell causes the victim's sex to change. Thus, a male becomes female and visa-versa. A save vs. spell negates the effects. After the change, the victim will be confused for 1d10 turns. Also, he/she will have a percent chance equal to his/her Constitution of going insane because of the trauma.

The GM must make sure the victim of the spell acts in the manner appropriate to the sex. If not, then the spell doesn't really seem powerful.

Impregnate (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 7

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 7

Area of Effect: One female (or Special)

Save: Neg.

This spell creates life and, according to some mytho, a new soul, in a creature capable of bearing young. Its reverse, Abort, destroys unborn life. The casting of these spells upon a male, though theoretically possible, would produce unpredictable effects, although male pregnancy is not impossible. Casting this spell on an undead is rumored to result in the gruesome death of both undead and caster. Both of these spells, especially Abort, are highly controversial both for Good and for Lawful creatures. The material component for both is an arrowhead dipped in rabbit's blood.

Layla's Seductive Shapechange (Alteration/Divination)

Level: 7

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S

Casting Time: Special

Duration: Permanent until lapsed

Area of Effect: Special

Save: Special

This spell discerns the nature of what the victim would consider most sexually and physically attractive. The spell will make a number of attempts to uncover this information equal to the level of the caster, or until the information is procured. Each attempt takes one segment, and the victim receives a save against each attempt. Regardless of whether or not he makes his save, he will under no circumstances notice this aspect of the spell.

This information will be relayed to the caster, who may then opt to activate the second half of the spell, which is to shapechange into the form the information would dictate. If the caster does not, he may apply the unused attempts against someone else, or give up the spell. If the caster does, the new form is assumed until the caster wishes to end it.

Example: Layla wishes to infiltrate a party using this spell. She casts against the Dirdan the fighter first, and he fails his save on her second attempt. She finds he prefers dirty half-orc women-- a really distasteful idea. Since she is seventeenth level, she has fifteen more attempts to direct against the rest of the party. On attempt seven, she finds that Alex the mage would really like a six- foot tall snow elf who was wearing black leather. Layla finds this more acceptable, forgoes her remaining eight attempts, and shapechanges into a snow elf. The spell makes her clothing into black leather (without destroying or altering any of its previous properties) and makes her staff into a bull whip.

After three weeks, she gets bored of Alex, and ends the spell, changing back to her normal self.

Kiss Of The Nereid (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Instantaneous

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: See below

When the kiss is bestowed, the victim must roll a successful save vs. breath weapon, with a -2 penalty, or drown instantly. If he/she doesn't drown, he/she finds total ecstasy.

Power Word, Castrate (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8

Range: 5 yards/two level

Components: V

Duration: Permanent

Casting time: 8

Area of Effect: 10-foot-radius sphere

Save: None

When this spell is cast, one or more male creatures of any type within the spell range and area of effect are castrated. The power word castrates one creature with 60 hit points, or it castrates two or more creatures with 10 or fewer hit points, up to a maximum of 120 hit points. The option to attack a single creature, or multiple creatures, must be stated along with the spell range and area of effect center. The current hit points of the creatures are used.

Heartbreaker (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9

Range: 6 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1/2

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: Neg.

This spell induces a sudden heart attack in its recipient. A save vs. death is allowed. If the save is failed, the creature makes a Constitution check. If the check fails, the creature dies. If the creature survives, he/she will be totally incapacitated for 1d6+6 game weeks. He/she will also permanently lose one point of Strength and one point of Constitution, and will have a 5% chance of a future heart attack every time he/she ever is required to make a Constitution check. Note that this spell does require its victim to have a heart, so not all creatures can be affected (i.e. golems, undead, slime, etc).

Kiss Of Death (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9

Range: Touch

Components: S

Duration: Permanent

Casting Time: 1/2

Area of Effect: 1 creature

Save: None

When the kiss is bestowed, the creature is slain (maximum of 150 hit points can be taken away). After 1d10 rounds the corpse turns to dust. The creature can't be resurrected. (See Ya! Wouldn't want to be Ya!)

Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair (Alteration/Necromancy)

Level: 9

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Casting Time: 1

Duration: Permanent until cured

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None

This spell inflicts the victim with the sexual disease or sexual insanity of the caster's choice, permanently, until it is cured by a Cure Disease performed by a cleric of a good-aligned god and of higher level than the mage who inflicted the disease. While the victim suffers from the disease, the spell prevents him from being killed by it, or in fact by anything, be it a sword, a fire, another disease, or a blow to the head. Should the victim drop below 0 hit points, he will become immobile but remain conscious.

He will be incapable of performing any actions until he is healed above 0 hit points. Dropping below -10 hit points will not kill him. He gains no hit points back from resting if he is below 0, his body is too battered to heal itself and only magical or herbal healing will help him.

Summon Cissaldan (Conjuration/Summoning)

(As in Harlan Ellison's short "How's the Night Life On Cissalda?")

Level: 9

Range: 30 yards

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 9

Area of Effect: None

Save: None

The casting of this spell will cause an interdimensional connection between the world of the spell caster and the alternate world of the Cissaldans. The utterance of this spell attracts one Cissaldan which will come through the connection and attack whomever the spell caster directs the spell against.

The recipient has an immediate desire to "do a disgusting thing with a disgusting thing" and will fall upon the Cissaldan with much vigor. The recipient will not be able to do or say anything else since his or her complete concentration is centered on the Cissaldan. The two will continue to copulate until the recipient dies of starvation. There is no known way of separating someone (or something since the Cissaldans do not discriminate in any way) from a Cissaldan until the recipient dies. After the death of the spell recipient, the Cissaldan will return to the world from which it came.

Cissaldans are described as having two penises, two vaginas, and are physically "disgusting" to look at. They, however, love to make love so to speak, and can physically adapt to any sexual physiology.

Below is some spell ideas that creative (boarding on sick) mages throughout the Prime Material Plane are working on.

Animal Magnetism Cure Groin Soreness

Deep Throat Enchant Condom

Engorge Find Mate

Finger of Death Kiss of Strength

The All New Bybig's Forceful Hand The All New Bybig's Grasping Hand

The All New Bybig's Playful Hand Tongues ReErection Unseen Sexual

The Luscious Real-Feel Magic Mouth

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CLERICS WOULD USE THESE SPELLS?

Most of the mage spells elsewhere in the guide can be easily transformed into clerical spells for gods who will grant them.

Level 1

Baltasar's Impediment

Detect Venereal Disease

Divine Sexual Experience

Lactation

Level 2

Protection From Disease

Repair Virginity

Level 4

Fertility

Level 6

Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy

Baltasar's Impediment (Necromancy, Abjuration)

Sphere: Necromancy, Protection

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1 round

Area of Effect: 1 (female) mammal

Save: None

This spell enables the caster to prevent a female from becoming pregnant. Essentially, it impedes a fertilized ovum from implanting in the uterus. The casting of Baltasar's Impediment is not necessarily an evil act; however, the GM should pay particular attention to the alignment of the caster as well as the social & political (esp. religious) atmosphere. For example, a lawful good cleric casting this spell on a teenager without the permission of her parents, church, etc. should be prepared for the wrath of his deity. A cleric who worships a fertility god can not cast this spell.

A neutral evil cleric, nephew of the king, might repeatedly cast this spell on the queen in a secret attempt to usurp the thrown. A neutral good cleric might cast this spell on all the maidens of the keep before its fall to the orc siege -- although he cannot spare them from the horrors to come, at least he can prevent the bastardization that might result.

The material components are a drop of blood from the target's last menstrual period (or an ounce of her blood, from anywhere, that has been mixed with dust and dried in a silver chalice) and the priest's holy symbol. The priest invokes the name of his deity, touching his holy symbol to the blood. The woman must then consume it, usually mixing it with wine or some other fluid. The spell remains in effect until the first day of the woman's next menstrual period, or a successful Dispel Magic is cast upon her.

Detect Venereal Disease (Divination)

Sphere: Divination

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One creature

Save: None

This spell detects the presence of sexually transmitted diseases in a creature. A successful Intelligence check reveals the nature and symptoms of, but not the cure for, any detected diseases. The material component is the caster's holy symbol.

Divine Sexual Experience (Divination)

Sphere: Divination

Level: 1

Range: 10 yards

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: One person

Save: None

Casting of this spell involves taking a clear vessel of water and releasing a drop of ink into it. The percentage of the water undarkened by the diffused ink indicates that person's purity score. Although not absolutely certain, any score under 50% probably indicates loss of virginity, and with the exception of the rarest of heroes and deities, the score will be between 25% (casual interaction with others) and 90% (extreme debauchery). More specific information may be revealed at the GM's discretion.

Lactation (Evocation)

Sphere: Creation

Level: 1

Range: Touch

Components: V, S

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1

Area of Effect: Female touched

Save: 1/2

Lactation, unsurprisingly, causes the subject to begin producing breast milk. This milk is of the highest nutritive value. A save results in a single discharge of colostrum.

Repair Virginity (Healing)

Sphere: Healing

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: S, M

Duration: Permanent (until the obvious happens)

Casting Time: 2 turns

Area of Effect: One person

Save: 1/2 (Special)

This spell returns the subject to a state of physical virginity. If the subject makes the save, then all sexual skills, knowledge, and techniques are retained; if the save is failed, all knowledge and skills are lost except those known before having lost virginity. A female will grow an intact hymen, and any physical or medical damage caused by sex or childbirth will be eradicated. The subject will legitimately be considered a virgin for all religious purposes.

Protection From Disease (Abjuration)

Sphere: Protection

Level: 2

Range: Touch

Components: V, S, M

Duration: 1 turn/level

Casting time: 3

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Save: None

By means of this spell, the wizard bestows total invulnerability to disease. The creature can't contract, become a carrier, or pass on any disease he/she may already have. This spell doesn't cure disease it merely prevents its transfer.

When a person is subject to this spell, a glowing light appears on the subject's palm. This is to assure the person has this protection on. Therefore, a person he/she can't say "Let's have sex, I have the protection on."

The material component of this spell is a scoop of mold (a generic form of penicillin).

Fertility (Alteration, Necromancy) Reversible

Sphere: Creation, Necromantic

Level: 4

Range: 10 yards/level

Components: V, S, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 1 turn + 1 turn/target

Area of Effect: Special

Save: Neg.

This spell enables the caster to increase the fertility of the target. The target may be either male or female. The fertility of a character may be calculated as follows (as per The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge). Fertility = base chance + constitution modifier. If both participants are "fertile" at time of copulation, pregnancy results.

Base

Race Chance Constitution Modifier

Dwarf 22% 01-03 -6%

Elf 13% 04-06 -4%

Gnome 20% 07-09 -2%

Half-Elf 54% 10-12 +2%

Halfling 50% 13-15 +4%

Human 77% 16-18 +6%

Successful casting of this spell increases a character's fertility by 5d6 points. In addition, there is a probability, equal to the level of the caster (1% per level), that successful conception will result in multiple births (roll 1d20: 1-17 twins, 18-19 triplets, 20 quadruplets). Multiple castings of this spell on the same individual (while the first is still in effect) automatically fail, as does casting on a pregnant person. This effect lasts through the target's next copulation; thereafter, the target's fertility returns to normal. Fertility can also be countered magically by spells such as Dispel Magic, Infertility, or Wish.

The reverse of this spell, "Infertility," destroys the target's ovaries/testes and automatically results in a failed attempt at conception (assuming that the target did not save versus spells). The target remains infertile until a successful Dispel Magic is cast upon him/her followed immediately by Regenerate (the former dispels the magic, the latter repairs the physical damage).

Note: Fertility cannot counter the effects of Infertility, but if the target is already under the effect of the former, he/she receives a +1 bonus to save.

This spell (and it's reverse) may also be cast upon animals (e.g., horses). The GM may choose the animal's initial fertility based on type and quality of animal.

This spell can affect up to 1 creature for every 3 levels of the caster, unless the cleric worships a god of fertility, creation, death, or destruction, in which case, the cleric can affect 1 creature per level. Clerics who worship fertility or creation gods can not cast Infertility. Clerics who worship gods of death or destruction can not cast Fertility.

The material components for Fertility are the caster's holy symbol and a seed from any plant (the seed is not damaged). The caster's holy symbol and the ashes from a handful of seeds are required for the reverse (the ashes disappear during casting).

NOTE: While the need for this spell might seem a bit questionable upon initial reading, it works well as a plot aid:

- "Gee, I wonder why there are so many orcs/green dragons/trolls around

lately?"

- "Boy, I sure hope the king has a child with this new queen - this is his

third queen already! I would sure hate to see that sleazy nephew of his

get the thrown!"

- "Look, you gotta help us! There's not been a child born in this town in 2

years - not even among the livestock!"

- It would also be a sneaky way to get those promiscuous PCs.

Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy (Enchantment)

Sphere: Charm

Level: 6

Range: 20-ft radius circle centered within 60 ft. of the caster

Components: V, M

Duration: Special

Casting Time: 6 turn

Area of Effect: See range

Save: Special

Yemelat, whose archbishopric is among the most coveted of all the dioceses of Lord Priapus, is most famous for his Orgiastic Frenzy spell, first put to shockingly great effect at a Special High Council of the priests of Helm, Torm, and Tyr. This spell compels those within its range to engage in sexual activities with wild abandon with anyone else within the zone. Those within may individually save vs. petrifaction at -5 to stave off the effects, but must save again if they touch anyone or anything in the zone, including their own bodies, until they escape the zone or until everyone falls unconscious within the zone. The material component is a peeled grape.

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A BARD'S SEXUAL SPELL-SONGS

"Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On"

By

Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale

To be sang by the tune of

"Everything I do - I do it for you"

The love within your eyes

makes me sure,

I want to give you more...

You ought to know,

I love you so

I will never let you go

Oh, tell me you want my body too

My passion is hardening to you

My body plea

Undress me and you'll see...

Make love to me.

Level: 2

Area of Effect: Creature touched

Casting Time: 1 round

Duration: 2 hours (!!!)

Description: The spell-song insures the creature touched (usually the bard caster) can engage in continuous intercourse for 2 hours! Naturally, the partner can't take a whole 2 hours, so here's how it works.

Take the character's Constitution and add the applying bonuses from the wild-thing rules: Strength, Dexterity, partner's Charisma. the lowest bonus may be replaced by the bard's level if desired. The total is how long the first intercourse will take. During each and every intercourse, Four checks are to be done (with 1d20), and when one fails the bard loses 1d6 hit points (instead of stopping). There's a cumulative -1 to the check with every check done.

Example: Starting at 27, Luwain can make love for 27 minutes to start, then start again with a score of 27-4=23, and make love for 23 more minutes with checking only the last check of 23-3=20 (a 20 on the check loses 1d6 hp). Now, Luwain can continue with a score of 19 for 19 minutes, checking against 19, 18, 17 and 16, and so on...

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SEXUAL PSIONIC POWERS

TELEPATHIC DEVOTIONS

Induced Pleasure

Power Score: Con - 2

Initial Cost: contact

Maintenance Cost: 2/round

Range: touch

Prep Time: 1

Area of Effect: individual

Prerequisite: mindlink, contact

This is the opposite power of Inflict Pain. While no good comes from it (no healing or curative effects), it makes the subject individual shudder and twist in ecstasy. If used in combat, the victim must save vs. paralyzation in order to keep functioning and fighting. Failure to save indicates a penalty of -4 on all attack rolls that round, and any spells being cast are disrupted.

The insidious effects of this power occur when it is used in conjunction with Inflict Pain. By using the two powers interchangeably, dependent upon the victim's actions, the victim can be conditioned to perform certain acts instead of other acts they would normally perform.

For each week of being subjected to this treatment, they must make a wisdom check, with a penalty equal to the number of weeks of "treatment" (i.e., 3 weeks of treatment = penalty of -3) or have their actions in particular scenarios predetermined by their conditioning. Only one area of behavior may be affected per victim. Depending upon the behavior modification, there is a chance (GM's discretion) for an alignment change by the victim.

Power Score: The pleasure is so overwhelming that the victim passes out for 1d10 rounds.

20: The contact is broken.

CLAIRSENTIENT DEVOTIONS

Know Sexual Preference

Power Score: Int

Initial Cost: 8

Maintenance Cost: n/a

Range: 20 yards

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: none

This power enables the psionicist to read the sexual preference in the aura of a creature. Aura Sight reads sexual preference and experience. Aura Alteration can fool both reads.

Power Score: Psionicist know sexual preference and experience.

20: Wrong read, the opposite.

PSYCHOMETABOLIC DEVOTIONS

Sexual Pheromones Secretion

Power Score: Con - 4

Initial Cost: 9

Maintenance Cost: 6/round

Range: smell

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: none

With this devotion the psionicist can make his body smell like exciting perfume. When a psionicist starts this power he secretes sexual pheromones all over his body. The attractive and exciting perfume of these pheromones can attract attention, change reactions or help to seduce someone.

Power Score: The perfume is so exciting that every opposite sex creature in the area must save vs. petrifaction or desperately try to engage in sexual intercourse with the psionicist (evil creatures may use violent methods).

20: The psionicist steams a disgusting odor for 2d4 rounds.

Mind Over Sexual Endurance

Power Score: Wis - 3

Initial Cost: 6

Maintenance Cost: 5/round

Range: 0

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: Mind Over Body

With this devotion the psionicist can prolong his pleasure. Spending PSP, the psionicist can maintain intercourse without Constitution checks. The prolonged uses of this power has some dangers. If the psionicist prolongs the intercourse (in rounds) more than two times his Constitution score, then when he stops paying the maintenance cost he will collapses from exhaustion. If he goes for more than four times his Constitution score he must save vs. Death (with a penalty equal to the number of extra rounds) or die (but a good way to die).

Power Score: Half cost.

20: The psionicist loses interest prematurely.

Contraception

Power Score: Con - 3

Initial Cost: 10

Maintenance Cost: n/a

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: 0

Prerequisite: none

With this devotion a psionicist can prevent pregnancy in any female (including herself). This power should be used after sexual activity. In some cases this may not be lawful, and in some it may not be considered good. This devotion offers only 95% certainty according to the following table:

Roll Result

0 - 95 no fertilization

96 one zygote

97 two zygotes

98 very ugly mutant child

99 incredible ugly mutant child

00 a beautiful, powerful mutant (get out Gamma World rules)

Power Score: 100% certainty.

20: Use 94 + 1d6 as % roll.

Enhance Fertility

Power Score: Con - 3

Initial Cost: 10/10% increase

Maintenance Cost: 1/10% increase

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: 0

Prerequisite: none

With this devotion a psionicist can enhance the chance of pregnancy in any female (include herself). This power should be used before the sexual activity. The maximum chance is 90%. The psionicist must maintenance this power during all the intercourse time.

Power Score: 10% bonus in fertility (up to 100%).

20: Fertility reduced 50% for a week.

Export Disease

Power Score: Con - 3

Initial Cost: 12

Maintenance Cost: n/a

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: individual

Prerequisite: none

This power is the reverse of Absorb Disease and lets evil psionicists to transfer one of his diseases to another character's body. After that, the psionicist is free of the disease. (Other psionicist can use this power, too, but their alignment would begin to twist toward evil.) This power can transfer magical diseases, but not curses, such as lycanthropy.

Power Score: The psionicist transfer all his diseases and the target will have the psionicist's curses and insanities, too, but the psionicist is not free of them.

20: The psionicist transfer 20% of his own hit points.

Willy's Expansion

Power Score: Con - 2

Initial Cost: 5

Maintenance Cost: 1/round

Range: 0

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisite: Expansion

This specialized form of Expansion was created by Willy Kawallo to increase the size of his preferred body part. The rules for size increase are the same as in Expansion. Using this power the psionicist must make a constitution check before starting sexual intercourse and will have a -1 penalty in each subsequent check because it is more difficult to use a big one. Females can increase any of their sexual proportions with the normal Expansion power.

Power Score: Same as Expansion power.

20: The psionicist sexual organ shrinks 50% until arrested by this power.

METAPSIONIC DEVOTIONS

Conductive Kiss

Power Score: Con - 2

Initial Cost: 20 or 10 x magnification

Maintenance Cost: 2 or magnification/round

Range: touch

Prep Time: 0

Area of Effect: personal

Prerequisites: 5th level

With this devotion the psionicist can magnify the effects of another power that has touch as range (double damage, no save, etc.). The psionicist uses the kiss as a conductor and the victim will be more vulnerable. The GM must rule which and how aspects of the psionic power can be magnified or changed.

Power Score: Half cost.

20: A kiss with a terrible taste.

MAGIC ITEMS YOUR MOM WOULDN'T APPROVE OF

Item Price

Basque of Transvestitism 200

Boo-Hag Goggles 100

Breast Plate +1 600

Earring(s) of Androgyny 250

Everful Baby Bottle 200

Figurine Of The Willing WonTon 400

Frictionless Sheets 250

Gem of the Vo Yure 250

Girdle of Speedy Gestation 500

Girdle of Hippolyte 1500

Hourglass of Parietals 500

Jackknife of Circumcision 2000

Ladies' Glass Ball 2000

Lipsticks Of The Houri

- Sleeping 1000

- Wounding 1000

- Weakness 2000

- Slavery 3000

- Nereid 8000

- Death 9000

Marishars Miraculous Bath House 7500

Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini 1000

Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item ---

Penis of Astounding 1500

Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy 500

Periapt Of Sexual Aides 1000

Perfume/Musk Of Attraction 500

Philter of Love 250

Phylactery of Prophylactics 250

Potion of Aphrodisia 250

Potion of Potency 250

Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love 500

Ring Of The Bulls 300

Ring Of Perversion ---

Ring Of Protection 1500

Ring of Sexuality Detection 300

Sheet Of Useful Toys 300

Spectacles of Revealing 250

Sword Of Castration 2000

Teeny-Weeny Bikini 1000

Underwear Of Virginity 200

Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment 300

Wand Of Love 2000

Wand of Pillows 1000

Wand Of Vibration 1000

Basque of Transvestitism - Any male wearing this garment appears to be a female of the same race with identical stats. Any female character can automatically see through this illusion, but males have to make Wisdom rolls to realise something is wrong.

Boo-Hag Goggles - These goggles make everyone look much more sexually attractive to the wearer than they really are.

Breast Plate +1 - This piece of armor gives the wearer a +1 bonus to adjustment to armor class. Thus, a wearer with AC of 5 will have an AC of 4 when this breast plate is worn. This armor is made of a strange substance referred to by mages as Silicon.

Earring(s) of Androgyny - These earrings make it impossible for anyone to discern the gender of the wearer, even if naked.

Everful Baby Bottle - This baby bottle always contains milk. The milk is kept at a constant warm temperature. Most bottles produce cow's milk, but some can produce milk from other mammals. Some exotic bottles were known to produce enriched dragon's milk.

Figurine Of The Willing WonTon - This appears as a tiny (an inch or so high) statuette of a lovely male or female. When the figurine is tossed down and a command word spoken, it becomes a very attractive living normal sized person that will serve him/her. The person serves willingly and well, but at the end of 12 hours it returns to statue form. The figurine does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts.

Frictionless Sheets - These covers seem like any other silk sheets, but they have a nasty side. Three rounds after coming in contact with living material (i.e. a person) the sheets become completely frictionless. This could be very nasty if there is any strenuous activity occurring at the time. With the loss of friction there will be nothing to hold the person/s in the bed. Depending on the level of activity the person/s could simply slide out of bed or be shot out of bed at a high velocity. There are several applications for this magic item. But if found randomly by a character it could be fun for the GM to suddenly say to a character that while relaxing on his/her newly found sheets the character slides off and can not clime back into bed (HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH). The effect will wear off in 2-8 (2D4) rounds if no living material is in contact with it.

Gem of the Vo Yure - These finely cut and polished stones are indistinguishable from ordinary jewels, although a detect magic spell will reveal its enchantment. When gazed through, the Gem of the Vo Yure enables the user to see all human and kindred creatures as naked. The viewing range is 300'.

Girdle of Speedy Gestation - This girdle reduces the term of pregnancy and labor to 1/10th of normal, with no ill effects to bearer or baby.

Girdle of Hippolyte - This is really a thin metallic chain one wears around the waist. The wearer is completely immune to any diseases or ill effects gained through sexual intercourse (including the level- draining abilities of succubi/incubi).

Hourglass of Parietals - This typical hourglass compels sexual segregation. Males and females must move into separate rooms of any building containing such an hourglass once time has expired. This device is commonly used in certain lawful suspicious institutions of learning in the Realms.

Jackknife of Circumcision - A magical device used in the initiation rites of certain mythos, which functions as a Knife +2 in the hands of a circumcised male.

Ladies' Glass Ball - A glass ball containing a green substance hangs from a pendant. The ball itself is plugged from the bottom with a plug of cork. The green substance inside, however, will show magical properties. If consumed by a female this green potion will protect her from impregnation for 1d4 months (GMs choice as to information given to PC). However, if consumed by a male the substance will instantaneously cause 1d4 points of damage. Then a save against poison must be made each hour for the duration of days equal to half the PC's Constitution. If he fails he looses one hit point per failure The poison in a male will not kill him but causes him sever discomfort and embarrassment. He will begin to grow hair at an accelerated rate (1d4 inches/day) and his voice will become very feminine (no save).

Lipstick Of The Houri - This lipstick gives its wearer a limited kiss ability mimicking the spell of the same name. The effects last double the duration of the spell. Each stick is good for 5 applications and each application lasts for 1-6 kisses.

Marishars Miraculous Bath House - This one square inch marble block is carved in the appearance of a Roman-style villa with pillars at the front and erotic mosaics on the side and back walls.

Once a day, the bathhouse can be invoked (command word Bachus). It immediately grows in size until it is as large as a small house. It is identical to the statue, with high marble walls, and pillars at the front covering the entrance.

The doorway is only large enough to allow one person at a time to pass through, and has a large brass door that can be bolted from the inside. Two large Iron Golems cast as Nubian slaves with scimitars guard the doorway.

Whoever passes inside first is the master/mistress of the bath house, and all the creatures of the bath house will obey them. Inside the house is only one room, with two pools (hot and cold) and several marble slabs. gauzy silk curtains, cushions and tapestries decorate the place. Several swans (white if the master is good/neutral, black if evil) swim calmly on the cold pool. In the bath house are 2d6 beings of the same race and opposite gender, with 18 charisma and 18 comeliness. They are happy to please and have 20's in any and all the new sexual proficiencies. If the master/mistress of the house wishes, the companions can be switched to any gender or species.

Inside the bath house, it is always comfortably warm, and there is always food (as long as you like grapes and dates) and fresh water.

Nothing from the bath house (golems, companions, cushions, water, food) can leave the bath house. If taken outside they vanishes.

Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini - As a fashion conscious adventurer, Morgaine has decided to create the ultimate in sexy adventure-wear, the "Chainmail Bikini".

Provocatively designed to distract opponents, the "Chainmail Bikini" covers only the minimal basics in order to preserve modesty. Both the male and female versions are made of fine quality chain mail, carefully lined with the softest furs available, to ensure no nasty chain burns.

The "Chainmail Bikini" is magically enchanted to provide armour class protection affordable by anyone. The "base model" provides a straight Armor Class 10 and is merely for decorative/distraction purposes, providing basically no protection for the wearer. Other models provide an increasing amount of magical protection, with a corresponding increase in cost.

The special "Temperature-Controlled" models have an added feature which maintains body temperature in extreme cold or hot weather. The creature can stand unprotected in temperatures as low as -30 degrees Fahrenheit or as high as 130 degrees Fahrenheit with no ill effect. Temperatures beyond these limits inflict 1 point of damage per hour of exposure for every degree beyond the limit.

A special model, "Chainmail Chastity", provides a miniature lock and key for those adventurers who are concerned about losing the friendship of their unicorn friends.

And for those dungeons where the GM forgot to put in a bathroom (or for female adventurers at _that_ time of the month) there is the "Port-a-Potty" model, which has a special liner that absorbs wastes for up to one week's time. To clean, remove liner and place in a waste receptacle, intone the appropriate magical phrase, and the liner will "give up" its contents. Intone the other magical phrase to reset the liner for another week's work. Warning: Be certain to reset the liner before the week is out, as the liner will automatically stop absorbing, and there is a 50% chance that the liner will automatically reset itself, leaving the adventurer with a lovely, warm feeling. Evil beings leave trapped versions by replacing the lining with a bag of devouring, for a bit more enjoyment.

A special smaller "Port-a-Potty" diaper model has been created for infants and has been very popular in large cities.

Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item - This cursed item can be anything but typically is in the form of something used by a child in puberty such as jewelry, brush/comb, or book. This item was created by a goodie goodie cleric or mage to ensure "spiritual purity". When the possessor of this item masturbates roll 1d6 on the following chart to see what happens to the offender:

Die Roll Effect

1-2 "Struck by lightening" that does 10d6 (minus Constitution) points

of damage. 5d6 points of damage if indoors.

3-4 "Go blind" that lasts 7d6 days.

5-6 "It falls off" but actually only causes 1d10 points of painful,

permanent damage to genital region. Also, causes intense panic.

Penis of Astounding - This is a 12' long artificial penis. It is used to stun an observer. When worn by a male, the Penis has a 70% chance of stunning a person for 1d10 rounds. However when worn by a woman, the odds increase to 95%. The penis is not subject to sexual arousal or feeling, thus it can be used in combat, when unsuccessful as a penis of astounding. Another version, the Ultra Penis of Astounding, also comes with a bag of milk.

Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy - This engraved gem appears to be a gem of small value. This periapt provides 100% protection against pregnancy for males and females.

Periapt Of Sexual Aides - This gem appears nothing else then a diamond (500-1000 gp), and no magic is detected. When in possession no effect is noted until the possessor engages in sex. Then, if a man is wearing the periapt, he cannot have a orgasm until his partner (which he is having sex with) has at least one orgasm. If worn by a woman, it makes herself more susceptible for orgasms (a roll of 1-2 on 1d10). In a sexual act, if more than one person are using this kind of periapt, they will explode for 3-12 (3d4) of blasting damage (10' radius), and all possessors must check a system shock or lose the fertility.

Perfume/Musk Of Attraction - This liquid increases the wearer's charisma by 1 point. The duration is 1d20 hours. The liquid comes in a small bottle with 2d20 applications.

Philter of Love - As in the DMG page 144, with the following revision: the philter will only inspire love for the next person the imbiber sees who is of the appropriate gender with respect to the imbiber's sexual orientation.

Phylactery of Prophylactics - A phylactery with 1d6 detachable beads, each one of which functions as a Contraception spell (see guide).

Potion of Aphrodisia - Functions as Obsession spell (see guide) directed towards next person seen by the imbiber, regardless of the viewed person's gender.

Potion of Potency - Functions as Prowess spell (see guide), for 6 hours.

Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love - Legend states that this enchanted whirlpool tub was created by Rahasia, Mage Priestess of Ishtar, The Priestess of Love. Whirlpools like this do appear in all Ishtar temples and the best appears at Rashasia's. Now, tubs appear all over Oerth and the Realms mainly as an item of the rich and famous. The tub is approximately 5 feet by 5 feet by 5 feet with side seats in it. The tub can create air bubbles at the bottom that flow delightfully to the top. Also, the temperature of the water can be controlled. Command words are as followed:

Temperature Command Bubbles Command

Cold Frigus Low Humilis

Warm Calidus Medium Modus

Hot Fervidus High Alte

Some clever clerics and mages have created gems that cause the same effects as the whirlpool tub when they are placed in a small body of water.

Ring Of The Bulls - This regular ring is engraved with a bull head. When worn by a male, his more-private anatomy increases in size. The size is dependant on the type of the ring (Roll 1d12):

Die Roll Ring Type Effect

1-5 Calf Add 1/3 of the size

6-9 Young Add 1/2 of the size

10-11 Bull Double the size

12 THE BEAST Triple the size <- dangerous

The male also gains a +1 to constitution checks during sex.

Ring Of Perversion - Cursed ring that can only be removed by a remove curse spell. While the ring is worn, the person suffers the effects of a sexual insanity (roll on the insanity table).

Ring Of Protection - This large ring is for males only and doesn't go on fingers or toes. It provides 100% protection from pregnancy and sexual diseases (both magical and natural).

Ring of Sexuality Detection - A very simple ring with a white, semiprecious stone set in the side, which functions as per the Divine Sexual Orientation spell (see guide), with the following restrictions. Anyone whose orientation is scried makes a Wisdom check at -2. If the check is made, then the scried individuals will sense that they are the subject of some scrutiny. A successful Charisma check following that successful Wisdom check will alert them to the purpose - but not necessarily the source - of the scrutiny.

Sheet Of Useful Toys - This appears to a normal sheet adorned with about 20 small cloth patches of various shapes. Anybody can remove a patch. Detaching a patch causes it to become an actual item. The item is some exciting sexual toy. The toy could be anything like oil, a whip, blindfold, body lotion, body paint, or anything else the GM images.

Spectacles of Revealing - While wearing these, the wearer sees everyone as though they were absolutely naked.

Sword Of Castration - This weapon has a +2 bonus to hit and damage. The real power of the sword is when the attacker rolls a non-adjusted 20 on the attack roll. When this occurs, the victim (if male, ignore if female) will lose his most treasured body part. Legend has it that this sword was created by evil (and bitter) Amazon Warriors.

Teeny-Weeny Bikini - This object, when worn, will shrink upon command revealing more and more of the wearer's body thus distracting any and all male counterparts. If the save versus magic is not made, the men around the woman will do various stupid things like run into walls, trip, or make strange burbling sounds as they try not to let it be know how they feel. Although the bikini will shrink, it will or will not reveal anything depending upon the wearer's wishes. Thus, modesty in one might be flagrant display with another. The bikini will fit anyone of any size. The bikini also appears originally as a full body, 1920's style swimsuit. Additional References: The Teeny-Weeny-Swimsuit for men. Cost: Varies.

Underwear Of Virginity - This underwear is very popular among protective fathers. When worn, the underwear cannot be removed without the command word (usually the father's middle name said backwards). The underwear is normal in respects to touch, but it is impossible to rip or tear. The underwear also magically disposes of body waste before it leaves the body, so there is no mess and absolutely no reason to remove it.

Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment - The apprentice wizard Elenora's biggest achievement to date is a magic wand 12" long made of ivory with silver bands around it. Under detect spells it appears as a wand of invisibility; but as Elenora found out when she demonstrated it to the assembled wizard council, it renders the users clothes completely invisible for 1 turn (hence its name).

It takes an Intelligence check (every round) to notice the invisibility, as the clothes still feel perfectly normal.

Wand Of Love - This wand is very thin, white, and has a lightning star in one point. Anyone struck by the star ('to hit' roll required) must save vs. spell or fall madly in love with the wand possessor. This love is a double strength charm person (all rules apply), but the effected character will even kill persons to retain his/her loved man/woman in romance.

Wand of Pillows - A normal looking wand which produces pillows. Here is the most fun magic item ever found, a "Wand of Pillows". Just point and it produces loads of nice fluffy pillows. Great for padding that dungeon room to sleep. Also, on occasion it can pad the bottom of a drop when one loses all of his/her rope. Furthermore, one can use it to defeat opponents through bewilderment, "Vile villain, stand back or surely I shall slay you with my great and powerful wand", where upon activation of the wand the enemy would fall into uncontrolled laughter etc, etc, etc...

Wand Of Vibration - This wand has a small dial at one end. In magical ruins on one end of the dial it reads "Pleasant Tingle" and at the other end of the dial it reads "The Crusher". The last setting is very dangerous and can cause 1 point of structural damage per round to any materials less than or equal to rock. Also, this setting cause 1d10 points of damage per round to anybody foolish enough to place the wand in a body cavity at such a high setting.

Other magic items being worked on:

Wand of Instant Gratification (ecstasy spell) - Morgan

Helm of Horniness (cursed item) - Morgan

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CUPID'S CHAOTIC ARROWS

These arrows are the work of 'Irnar the chaotic mage (protege Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm). Sometimes while trying to enchant an arrow his mind wanders to perverse or romantic thoughts and the actual enchantment isn't quite what he wants. He sells such "rejects" to the local weapons store at discount prices (which are still quite high due to the power of most of them). The weapons dealers then sell the arrows to foolish adventurers. They advertise the arrows as "Gifts from the Love Gods", "Missile Weapons for the Mature", and "If You Like Chaos...". Then, the dealers inflate the price and make a bundle. The arrows are available infrequently and at high cost. (One of the most popular dealers is Secondhand Stan the Pawn and Porno Man).

These arrows are never predictable in their effects. Roll percentile dice and divide by three (round fractions consistently). Arrows may be used only once, at which time they disintegrate into a worthless pile of dust unless stated otherwise. A successful hit from an attack roll must be made to initiate an effect unless stated otherwise. They do not do damage unless stated otherwise.

Mainly chaotic characters use the arrows. Also, characters with a low wisdom tend to use them a lot more that others.

Effects:

1) The arrow is reflected back at the archer. Roll again to see the effects on the archer ignoring this result.

2) The victim's Charisma is increased by 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 days.

3) The victim's Comeliness is increased by 1d10 to a max. of 30 for 1d4 days.

4) The victim's Dexterity with respect to sexual ability increases 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

5) The victim's Constitution with respect to sexual ability increases 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

6) All clothing, armor, and personal belongings carried on the victim fall to ground leaving the victim naked.

7) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the opposite sex to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled to follow the creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

8) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the opposite sex of the same race to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled to follow the creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

9) The victim goes into a melancholy depression for 1d4 days during which he/she feels compelled to recite and attempt to write love poetry.

10) The victim becomes infatuated with himself/herself for 1d4. He/She spends a lot of his/her money on mirrors, fine clothing, perfumes, cosmetics, etc..

11) The victim feels the urge to kiss a living creature of the opposite sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

12) The victim feels the "urge to merge" a living creature of the opposite sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

13) "Love is blind" so victim becomes blind for 1d4 days.

14) The victim becomes "drunk on love". Therefore, he/she is affected as if intoxicated for 1d4 days.

15) The victim becomes "crazed with love" for 1d4 hours. Thus, he/she is confused. Roll 1d10 for the results:

1 Wander away (unless prevented)

2-6 Stand confused one turn (then roll again)

7-9 Attack nearest creature for 1 turn (then roll again)

10 Act normally for 1 turn (then roll again)

16) The victim becomes "love struck" for 1d4 days. Thus, he/she goes into a state of suspended animation. This cessation of time means that the victim does not grow older. His/her body functions virtually cease.

17) "Nothin' says lovin' like a bun in the oven", so female victims become impregnated. Roll 1d10 to find out what the child is:

1-5 same race as parent

6-9 other common race (elf, human, dwarf, halfling, etc.)

10 Demon

Male victims suffer 4d6 points of damage as punishment for going around and getting innocent females pregnant.

18) "Say love with the gift that lasts: a diamond". The tip of the arrow turns into a diamond during its flight. The recipient's Armor Class becomes 10 due to the piercing of the diamond (dexterity bonuses still apply). The diamond-tipped arrow inflicts 1d10 points of damage. The diamond is worth roughly 1d4 X 1000 silver pieces.

19) "Love is in the eyes of the beholder". During the flight of the arrow, it becomes a 70 hp beholder (Monstrous Compendium Vol. 1) and attacks the intended recipient of the arrow. Upon the victim's destruction, the beholder will attack randomly.

20) The victim begins dancing for 1d4+1 rounds, complete with feet shuffling and tapping. This dance makes it impossible for the victim to do anything other than caper and prance; this cavorting worsens the Armor Class of the victim by -4, makes saves impossible except on a roll of 20, and negates any consideration of a shield.

21) The victim has the urge to become a prostitute and will attempt to fulfill this urge for 1d4 days.

22) The victim contracts a random normal sexual disease.

23) The victim contracts a random magical sexual disease.

24) The victim contracts a random sexual insanity.

25) The victim attracts frogs for 1d4 days. The frogs are plain, ordinary frogs whether you kiss them or not.

26) If the victim is male, he develops large breasts for 1d4 days. If the victim is female, she develops an enormous amount of body hair and will prefer to urinate standing up.

27) The arrow is a Heartbreaker. The arrow turns into a lightning bolt that inflicts 10d6 points of damage upon contact. A successful save vs. spell reduces the damage to half (round fractions down).

28) The arrow is a Screamer. The whistling sound is like the sound of a bomb falling, but without any effect whatsoever. Normal damage.

29) The arrow becomes semi-intelligent with a great knowledge of poetry equal to a bard's. It will constantly follow the victim around receipting all forms of love poetry.

30) The arrow turns into a rose upon contact.

31-33) REROLL

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PROTECTION OF THE WORST KIND (FOR THE MALE)

To better equip the saintly woman, some people (probably those gnomes) have designed some vaginal inserts to make would-be rapists pay for their lustful attempts at unlawful entry. But first let us see where these inventions originated at:

It seems that the first case of protective vaginal inserts began in human tribes of the wilderness. Naturally the daughter of a tribe's chief was the most sought after girl in the village, and there was a strict custom about whoever took her virginity would be the next leader.

To protect their little girls from unlawful entry certain tribes developed vaginal inserts. There is a certain type of cactus whose spines grow at angles on a rather broad, smooth leaf. The chief's wife would remove the spines from one side of two leaves and insert these pieces into the daughter's vagina with the spiny sides facing each other and pointed back inside the girl.

If anyone tried to have his way with the girl, his penis would slide in easily enough, but when he went to pull out...... eeeeh....

Model VI-1

Basically a five inch vaginal insert constructed of metal that has a four inch hooked spike in it as such:

/------------------

| \

|------------

|

\------------------

Thus, any male forcing intercourse would have this device stuck in his penis and he would be easily identified by the wounds.

Model VI-2

Same construction as Model VI-1 accept that the walls of the insert all have spring hinged tiny spikes that point inward as such:

/---------------------

| / / / / /

|

| \ \ \ \ \

\---------------------

Thus, the would-be rapist will have this device stuck on/in his penis and he would be easily identified.

MODEL VI-S1

This sinister vaginal insert allows the woman to release a spring loaded blade. When the woman thrust a certain way (instructions included) the blade springs out and slices up whatever is in her at the time.

Model VI-HM Blueprints

These blueprints allow a person to make a safe homemade version of protection at a low cost. Although somewhat complicated, the person basically uses carefully placed broken glass in cork.

Conclusion

There are two major reasons that these inventions never made it into major production: no woman wants to wear what for her is basically a dildo all day, and a harmed would-be rapist is an unhappy would-be rapist and would probably kill a woman who used such a thing.

HOURI: WIZARD SUB-CLASS

DESCRIPTION: The Houri is a nymph of paradise. She was born in a seedy section of a city, growing up in a poor and miserable life but dreaming of a better future. Yet, instead of turning to a life of thievery like most, her beauty and intelligence leads her to a life a magic. Once there, she specializes in charming, enchanting, and seducing.

Some people look down upon her as a disgusting prostitute and vixen. Others view her as a sensual beauty and the most desirable being on the Prime Material Plane.

In addition to normal magic-user requisites, the Houri must have a minimum Charisma of 15 (her voluptuously alluring beauty and charm being evident). Also, a Houri is female (although adjustments can be made for men and thus a Gigolo wizard sub-class is born). Furthermore, she must be of chaotic alignment.

PREFERRED SCHOOLS: The most appropriate school for the Houri is enchantment/charm.

BARRED SCHOOLS: All other schools are barred.

ROLE: The Houri is a fun-loving, charming person who can find herself mingling at all the high-class parties with many men-a-calling. She can also be found being a high-class prostitute for the wealthy and well-to-do. Her magic abilities are not always known by the company she keeps, which leads to mystery on why she is so alluring.

Having a terrible and trapped childhood, the Houri is glad to adventure, traveling to many cities being the flirt in each. Her abilities of charm and communication make her valuable when in contact with intelligent beings (shes so irresistible). Because of this, she tends to be viewed as the leader of the group, although this probably isn't true (such matters of tactics, marching order, etc. are of little importance to her).

WEAPON SKILL: REQUIRED: dagger or knife. The Houri is often fond of long, thin pins such as hat-pins and hair-pins, which can be easily concealed on the Houri's person and do 1-3 points of damage.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, any one of the sexual skills listed in this guide (player's choice). RECOMMENDED: (General) Artistic Ability, Dancing, Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty), Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Houri can spend her money on anything she likes. Remember, that the Houri should maintain a level of high beauty. Thus, jewelry, fine clothing, and perfumes are a favorite items of purchase for a Houri.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Houri has a special power of seduction described in the "Seduction For The Professional" section.

The Houri receives a +3 reaction modifier from men.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: A Houri is not allowed to wear protective armor; indeed, the less clothing she wears, the more effective she is.

The Houri receives a -3 reaction modifier from women, for obvious reasons.

The Houri refuses to live the terrible poor life she once had. Thus, when making purchase, the Houri accepts nothing but the best, whether it be a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest to carry her possessions. Any time she buys any item, the Houri must pay 10 to 100 percent more than the listed price. The GM will decide the price paid by the Houri, which may vary from item to item, depending on the quality of merchandise in a particular locale.

WEALTH OPTIONS: The Houri receives only (1d4+1) x 5 GP for starting money.

RACES: A Houri can only be human, elven, or half-elven.

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SEDUCER: WIZARD SUB-CLASS

DESCRIPTION: Where the Houri tends to be bubbly and perhaps a little indiscriminate, the Seducer (Seductress if female) is more subtle and discreet in his efforts. He will be dressed elegantly but not showy, have excellent taste in all that matters, and be very capable of following through on everything he promises... but whether he does, is another story. Seducers are the Valmonts and the Casanovas of the magic world. In addition to the normal requirements for a magic user, the Seducer must have a minimum 15 Charisma and 12 Wisdom (to be able to figure out all the tricky angles to use on which particular person).

PREFERRED SCHOOLS: Seducers may not specialize.

ROLE: The Seducer is the man that all the women swoon over and the Seductress the woman men fight over. They are manipulators in cunning and subtle ways -- yet they are not all evil, some merely wish to explore their sexuality in as many ways as they can, and some are merely looking for a mutual good time.

WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily hidden and carried about.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Dancing, Artistic Ability, any one sexual NWP. The Seducer is assumed either to have come from a high- class background or to be aspiring to/pretending to have one. RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty), Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Seducer should spend a fair amount of money on good clothing, and should bear in mind if male that taking all those lovely ladies to dinner will cost a pretty penny.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Seducer uses a special power of seduction described in the "Seduction For The Professional" section with the following formula rather than the one given:

Seducer's level + his Charisma

---------------------------------------------

Victim's level + modifiers + Wisdom bonus

vs. charm spells

Additionally, the Seducer receives a kind of "professional courtesy" from fellow charmers. Such creatures as mermaids, succubi, medusae, vampires, sirines, or others that use natural charm spells (GM's discretion) will not attack the Seducer and will be friendly toward him as long as he is the same toward them. Same creatures will be neutral to the Seducer's companions so long as those companions are same toward them, but even should the companions attack the creatures will not attack the Seducer until he attacks them.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: The Seducer must maintain his wardrobe, and is constantly replacing articles which have been muddied or torn. They are such perfectionists in their craft that they will dispose of anything that will harm their seductive craft unless it can be perfectly mended. They will also pay 10%-100% more than the normal cost whenever making a purchase due to their exacting standards.

The longer a Seducer practices, the more charming he becomes -- so much so, in fact, that any humanoid of the opposite sex who comes in contact with him must save vs. spell at a penalty equal to the Seducer's level, and with no magical protective aid (no rings of protection, etc., but Wisdom bonus is allowed) or become mildly enamoured of him and disposed towards jealousy of any perceived rivals. This can work to the Seducer's advantage, but not when he's trying to seduce the Duchess and the enamoured chambermaids are putting mud in her stockings.

Additionally, should a natural 1 be rolled on the saving throw, the victim will become completely obsessed with the Seducer. The victim will do anything (even violate his alignment) to gain the Seducer's love, and will deal ruthlessly with all rivals, real or perceived. This condition will last until negated by a Cure Insanity cast by a cleric of higher level than the Seducer, a Heal, a Limited Wish, a Wish, an Alter Reality or an Angel's Negation is cast on the afflicted. Alternately, 2d12 sessions psychotherapy lasting one hour each will grant the same result as an Angel's Negation.

WEALTH OPTIONS: The Seducer begins with 5d4x10 gold pieces of starting money to simulate his higher standing. However, he must spend 50% of it on clothing.

RACES: A Seducer can theoretically be any race, although most GMs would probably prefer to limit it to humans, elves and half- elves.

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SEDUCTRESS: ROGUE SUB-CLASS

DESCRIPTION: The Houri does it for sleazy pleasure, the Seducer/Seductress mage does it for professional pleasure, but the rogue Seductress does it for the wealth.

The Seductress is a female rogue who uses her special abilities of seduction to get what she wants. Unlike the mage Seductress who is in it more for lust, the rogue Seductress is more materialistic using lust to get things.

In addition to the normal requirements for a rogue, the Seductress must have a minimum Dexterity of 12, a minimum Wisdom of 13, and a minimum Charisma of 15. The prime requisites are dexterity and charisma.

A Seductress can be any chaotic alignment or neutral evil.

ROLE: Seductresses are the women that men gawk over. They are manipulators in cunning and subtle ways typically getting what they want which is usually money. And if they have some wonderful sexually experiences, they better.

Many thieves guilds have at least one Seductress high up in the organization. Most Seductresses latch onto the guild leader and use their powers to control the leader as a puppet and thus rule the guild from behind the scenes.

Skill Progression: The Seductress has the thieves skills of Pick Pockets, Move Silently, Hide in Shadows, and Detect Noise. The Seductress doesn't have the thieving skills of Open Locks, Find/Remove Traps, Climb Walls, and Read Languages.

WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily hidden and carried about.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Dancing, Disguise, any one sexual NWP. RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing, Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Seductress should spend a fair amount of money on good clothing, perfume, and other items of beautification. The Seductress doesn't wear armor as it hides her beautiful body unless shes on a thieving excursion and then leather armor is acceptable.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Seductress uses a special power of seduction described in the "Seduction For The Professional" section with the following formula rather than the one given:

Seductress level + (her Charisma / 2)

---------------------------------------------

Victim's level + modifiers + Wisdom bonus

vs. charm spells

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: The Seductress must maintain her wardrobe, and is constantly replacing articles which have been muddied or torn. They are such perfectionists in their craft that they will dispose of anything that will harm their seductive craft unless it can be perfectly mended. They will also pay 10%-100% more than the normal cost whenever making a purchase due to their exacting standards.

Note also that the Seductress also has a great love for jewelry. After all a woman is only as beautiful as her accessories. So the Seductress is required to spend a considerable amount of money on such things.

The rogue Seductress is typically looked down upon by Houris and mage Seducers. They usually go out of their way to make life difficult for Seductresses when possible.

WEALTH OPTIONS: The Seductress begins with 5d4x10 gold pieces of starting money to simulate his higher standing. However, he must spend 50% of it on clothing.

RACES: A Seductress can theoretically be any race that can be rogues, although most GMs would probably prefer to limit it to humans, elves, and half-elves.

SEDUCTRESS' GUILDS: These guilds are mostly in large cities and often found in matriarch cities. The guilds provide training for seductresses and will provide most often cheap room and board. The guilds are often connected to the government officials. This way they can provide service without any need for secrecy.

The guild will give information on other guild locations and places where males are the minority of a population. That way a working woman can be financed easily. The guilds are often against any male ruled kingdoms and will pay for services of destabilize these governments. The dues are paid by training and using the facilities of the guild. Such as baths, cosmetics, spells, etc..

The guilds are run by older seductresses. They often have heagmasters and a small council. They set up rules and dress codes for the area Some guilds provide the community with escort services.

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PSIDUCER: PSIONICIST

DESCRIPTION: The Psiducer is a telepath who uses her (or his) psionic ability to for pleasure and power. Like the mage seducer, the Psi- Seducer seeks pleasurable experiences through manipulation of others. Like the rogue seducer, the Psiducer seeks wealth and power.

The Psiducer is always looks wonderful. The mind is great but the body looks the best. The Psiducer dresses quite elegantly favoring silk clothing above all others (some sages say that silk helps channel psionic power).

In addition to the normal requirements for a psionicist, the Psi- Seducer must have a minimum 16 Charisma. The Psiducer can be of any alignment allowed by psionicists. Telepathic is her primary discipline.

ROLE: The Psiducer is a much desired person. A beautiful person with a good mind; what a combination (and probably dangerous). The Psiducer is concerned with her own needs which mainly revolves around the pleasures of the mind and body and most Psiducers will pursue this avenue to the end. As part of the Psiducer's vanity, she strives for large quantities of material wealth and will use her powers of seduction to get it. Having money brings power which keeps the Psiducer's lifestyle pleasing.

CHOSEN DISCIPLINES: REQUIRED: Telepathic RECOMMENDED: Psychometabolic, Clairsentient

SCIENCES: REQUIRED: Split Personality. RECOMMENDED: Domination, Mass Domination, Switch Personality, Probe, Aura Sight, Clairaudience, Clairvoyance, Create Object, Appraise.

DEVOTIONS: REQUIRED: one Sexual Psionic Devotion, Attraction, Awe, Empathy. RECOMMENDED: Conceal Thoughts, Contact, Daydream, ESP, False Sensory Input, Psychic Impersonation, Repugnance, Post-Hypnotic Suggestion, Telepathic Projection, Inflict Pain.

WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily hidden and carried about.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Artistic Ability, any two sexual NWP. RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty), Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Psiducer spends a fair amount of money on beautification. The Psiducer doesn't wear armor as it hides her beautiful body.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Psiducer is a pleasure to be around and doesn't need any more benefits.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: Because they use their psionic abilities for earthy reasons, the Psiducer is looked down upon by other psionicists. This results in a reaction penalty (usually 5%) decided by the GM.

RACES: Any that may be a psionicist.

NOTES: Here are some creative uses for existing powers:

- Disintegrate clothes

- Expansion of Bust or Hips

- Probe for sexual experience or preference

- Induce pleasure on herself

- Summon Planar Creature - Succubus

- Adrenaline Control - Increase Constitution

Here are psionic powers that creative psionicist are working on:

- Below Waist Project Force

- Disease Sense

- Ecstasy Field

- Create Insanity (a very special Psychic Surgery)

- Beautification (a very special Metamorphosis)

- Desire Whip

- Sexual Insinuation

- Sexual Daydream

- Desire Amplification

- Graft Partner

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"I'M JUST A GIGOLO..."

GIGOLO: BARD SUB-CLASS

SPECIALTY: Entertainer/Lover/Romantic.

QUALIFICATIONS: Standard ability scores (Dexterity of 12, Intelligence of 13, Charisma of 15). Gigolos must have a Constitution of 16 or more. Humans, Half-elfs, Elves may become Gigolos but they must be male.

Although it is not required, the recommended alignments for Gigolos are Neutral Good, Neutral, and Neutral Evil. These alignments seem most appropriate. Lawful characters would steer clear of situations that Gigolos often find themselves in. Also, chaotic characters couldn't remain with just one person long enough which is what the Gigolo sub-class is all about.

INTRODUCTION: I'm Just A Gigolo (Sad and Lonely)

--- by Roth Van Clevens

I'm just a Gigolo and everywhere I go,

people know the part I'm playin',

Pay for every dance, selling each romance,

ohhh, what they're sayin',

There will come a day, when youth will pass away,

what will they say about me,

Well the in crowd will know, I am just a Gigolo,

LIFE goes on without me,

Cause'

I, ain't got nobody,

nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody,

I'm so sad and lonely,

sad and lonely, sad and lonely,

Won't some sweet mama come with me,

I ain't so bad,

Booza Booza Bop Tity Bop.

DESCRIPTION: Sages refer to gigolos as men paid to be women's escorts or lovers. Some view gigolos as sad versions of Gallants, but gigolos are more. Sure Gallants are pure and romantic, but their only concern is their own personal passions. They charm and steal the hearts of women and then wisk away. The only time Gallants are concerned for others is when they can obtain glory and prestige. On the other hand, Gigolos make their living entertaining women. Their whole purpose is to please and satisfy women.

ROLE: A gigolo travels the lands looking for a beautiful woman (usually wealthy and single and probably being a widow) to satisfy. He will stay with one woman until the situation becomes unrewarding.

When a gigolo goes adventuring, it is likely the result of a request from a fair maiden, to retrieve an item of beauty and love, or for some other romantic cause. Unless a woman is present, the gigolo will probably stand clear of danger. But if a woman is looking on, then the gigolo will be quite the hero.

SECONDARY SKILLS: Merchant, Domestic Servant.

WEAPON SKILL: Gigolos must use gentleman weapons such as the rapier, epee, foil, sabre, and dagger. They may not use missile weapons such as long bow, short bow, crossbow, darts, etc..

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Sexual Endurance, Sexual Knowledge, Massage, Poetry. RECOMMENDED: (General) Artistic Ability, Dancing, Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty).

ARMOR/EQUIPMENT: A Gigolo is not allowed to wear protective armor; indeed, the less clothing he wears, the more effective he is.

SPECIAL BENEFITS:

The Gigolo gains a +05% adjustment to the Detect Noise thief skill, because listening is very important to him (especially for the approaching footsteps of husbands, boyfriends, etc). Also, a Gigolo gains a +10% adjustment to the Read Languages thief skill, because most of Gigolo's customers are going to be fairly educated and most of them are likely to have a substantial library.

Poetic Charm: A Gigolo who directs his attention to one person of the opposite sex can attempt to win that person's heart. This requires the Gigolo to perform many subtle acts of wit and charm. Among these acts must be the recital of at least one poem concerning the person. The entire effort takes a minimum of 10 minus the bard's level turns (not less then one turn), after which the person rolls a saving throw vs. Paralyzation with a -1 penalty per four levels of the Gigolo. Failure means that the person is affected as if the Gigolo cast a Charm spell on him or her.

The effect is not magical and doesn't wear off over time, unless the Gigolo treats the person badly or exploits them. Each abuse results in another saving throw being rolled to break the Gigolo's charm. The Dungeon Master may apply adjustments based on the situation.

Personalize: This Benefit allows the Gigolo to personalize any song, poem, or story for 1 person. This makes the person targeted feel as if the poem, song, or story is about them. Once a piece has been personalized the target will perform any suggestion the Bard makes as long as it is not contrary to their nature for 2d10 rounds. If a Bard personalizes a bit for someone else within 5 turns of the previous target, the first target will fly into a rage from jealousy. Although the first target may not act right away, he or she will attempt some form of revenge. It is up to the Dungeon Master to determine the quantity and method of revenge.

Domestic Skill: A Gigolo will excel at any one domestic skill. The Bard will be able to succeed in all but the most extreme attempts at his or her particular skill. The domestic skills include but are not limited to: cooking, cleaning, shopping, butler, fashion consultant, etiquette, diplomacy, wine connoisseur. The Bard should pick one of these to excel in, but may take any of the others as a skill. These skills are used by the Bard to impress any customer and can become an asset when payment is considered.

Conceal Activities: The Gigolo may have more than one customer. This ability allows the Bard to Conceal his activities with one customer from his other customers. It comes into effect when a customer asks the Bard about his "off-time". The Bard is able to skillfully fend off any inquiries by redirecting them onto other subjects. Only under a spell or spell-like effect will the Bard reveal his other activities (unless he wants them revealed, of course).

SPECIAL HINDRANCES:

The Gigolo receives a -3 reaction modifier from men, for obvious reasons. Also, the Gigolo will not gain any followers and will in most cases not have a strong hold.

The Gigolo suffers a -10% adjustment to the Pick Pockets thief skill, because he doesn't practice this skill much since it has little value for him.

The Gigolo refuses to live the terrible poor life. Thus, when making purchase, the Gigolo accepts nothing but the best, whether it be a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest to carry his possessions. Any time he buys any item, the Gigolo must pay 10 to 100 percent more than the listed price. The GM will decide the price paid by the Gigolo, which may vary from item to item, depending on the quality of merchandise in a particular locale.

The Gigolo contacts many females in an intimate way. If he contacts any sexual disease and passes it on to a client, he will not be contacted by any new clients, and as word gets around he will lose all his clients. Eventually he will not be able to support himself in his current place of residence and will be forced to move to another locale.

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GETTING TO KNOW A PROSTITUTE (RANDOM GENERATOR)

OVERALL PROSTITUTES

Before getting to know a specific prostitute, the prostitute pool should be known. The GM may make adjustments as she/she deems necessary.

To decide the number of prostitutes in a given settlement examine Table 1. Make adjustments based on alignment of the settlement (Table 2). NOTE: Most GMs feel that the number of prostitutes should never exceed 10% of the total population unless the settlements primary function is prostitution. Therefore, adjustments should be made accordingly.

TABLE 1: Number of Prostitutes

Settlement Population # Of Prostitutes

Thorp 20-80 1d6

Hamlet 100-400 1d10

Village, Wych 600-900 1d20

Town 1500-6500 1d100

City 10000-60000 2d100

TABLE 2: Alignment Adjustments To # Of Prostitutes

Lawful divide by 2

Chaotic multiply by 2

Good divide by 2

Evil multiply by 2

Information on prostitutes working under management can be found in the "The House Of Ill Repute" section.

GETTING A FEEL FOR THE PROSTITUTE

Not all prostitutes are alike. Below are the steps necessary to make a very unique and exciting prostitute.

1) Choose an appropriate sex for the prostitute. Randomly, there is a 80% of female prostitutes and a 20% of male prostitutes.

2) Choose an appropriate race in respects to the environment (i.e. area, population, politics, etc.).

3) Generate ability scores as describe in your RPG system. The prostitutes highest ability should probably be constitution.

4) Height and weight can be generated randomly using Table 3. Take the appropriate base score and add the die roll modifier.

5) Roll on Table 4 three times to get hair color, eye color, and complexion.

6) Age can be generated randomly using Table 5. Take the appropriate base age and add the die roll modifier.

7) The various measurements of a women can be generated as followed:

- Roll on Table 6 to get the vital measurement statistic.

- To find bust size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Bust modifier

(Table 7).

- To find waist size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Waist modifier

(Table 7) .

- To find hip size, add the Bust to the proper Hips adjustment (Table 7).

If the woman's height is below 5 feet, then modify bust and hips by -2.

8) The major measurement of a man is 1d4+5 inches.

9) With prostitutes can come bad things. Roll on Table 9 to decide if anything bad comes with the prostitute. Then, roll on the appropriate table in the appropriate section of the guide.

10) With prostitutes can come good things as well. Namely, specialties that the buyer may really like. Roll on Table 10 to decide if anything extra comes with the prostitute. With specialties come additional costs. Adjustments to cost are shown on this table as well. (Cost is calculate next.)

11) The average cost to hire a prostitute is 1000 SP / number of prostitutes available. Thus, the average cost for a prostitute in a town with 10 prostitutes is 100 SP each.

Adjustments are made based on inclination. Roll on Table 10 to get inclination with adjustments from Table 11 and Table 12. Add the listed percent of the current cost to the current cost to get the new cost. Inclination is just an attitude that the prostitute has towards the prospective client which affects the price.

Another adjustment is made based on specialty, which was calculated early (Table 9). Add the listed percent of the current cost to the current cost to get the new cost.

The last adjustment is made based on the race of the prostitute. Multiple the multiplier from Table 13 to the current cost to get the final cost. (NOTE: This adjustment is mainly for human settlements. An all dwarven settlement would have a higher demand for other creatures then dwarves. Thus, prices for humans would probably be more.)

Additional costs can manifest itself when patronizing a courtesan. A player might have to spend money on a meal (they got to eat too), alcoholic beverages (no doubt), a room (unless you like doing it in an alley), and medical expenses (you give them a disease, you pay for it).

Now, a nice versatile prostitute has been created, but there still is room for improvement. Keep in mind that some prostitutes are thieves (probably high-level) and should have such abilities. Some could even be fighters with weapon specializations in knives and daggers. There could even be cleric prostitutes who worship some evil deity of lust.

The thing to remember is that a GM can use a prostitute as a very important NPC. Prostitutes usually have information (dirt) on everybody who passes through their beds; not to mention pillow talk info. that shouldn't have been told. A prostitute is more interesting than the old fat tavern keeper with old boring stories. Keep this in mind, before throwing out such an encounter.

TABLE 3: Height And Weight

Height in Inches Weight In Pounds

Race Base* Modifier Base* Modifier

Dwarf 43/41 1d10 130/105 4d10

Elf 55/50 1d10 90/70 3d10

Gnome 38/36 1d6 72/68 5d4

Half-Elf 60/58 2d6 110/85 3d12

Halfling 32/30 2d8 52/48 5d4

Human 60/59 2d10 140/100 6d10

* Females tend to be lighter and shorter than males. Thus, the base numbers for height and weight are divided into male/female values. Note that the modifier will allow for a broad range in each category.

TABLE 4: Color Stats.

Die

Roll Hair Color Eye Color Complexion

01-13 Brunette Lt. Blue Dusky Olive

14-26 Blond Dk. Green Bronze

27-34 Auburn Hazel Milky White

35-42 Sable Brown Ebony

43-50 Crimson Crimson Lt. Red

51-58 Silver Silver Yellow

59-67 White Lt. Green Brown

68-75 Sky Blue Dk. Blue Golden

76-83 Lt. Green Pink CHOOSE

84-91 Lilac CHOOSE CHOOSE

92-99 Iridescent CHOOSE CHOOSE

00 Bald Each Eye Diff. CHOOSE

TABLE 5: Age

Race Base Modifier

Dwarf 40 5d6

Elf 100 5d6

Gnome 60 3d12

Half-Elf 15 1d6

Halfling 20 3d4

Human 15 1d4

TABLE 6: Vital Measurement Statistic

Die

Roll Vital Stat.

01-30 22"

31-50 23" * CONSTITUTION V.S. MODIFIER

51-65 24" 3-8 -2

66-77 25" 9-12 0

78-82 26" 13-18 +2

83-85 27"

86-90 28"

91-94 29"

95-97 30"

98-99 31"

00 32"

TABLE 7: The Measurements

Charisma * Bust Waist Hips

3 0 5-30" +6d6"

4-5 5-8" 2-12" +1d6"

6-8 6-9" 1-4" 0

9-11 7-10" 1-2" 0

12-15 8-11" 0 0

16-17 9-12" 0 -1"

18 10-12" 0 -2"

* Optionally, you may prefer to use Comeliness rather than Charisma since Comeliness is a better representation of beauty.

TABLE 8: Prostitute Extras

Die

Roll Extra

01-49 Nothing

50-79 Natural Disease

80-89 Magical Disease

90-99 Insanity

00 ROLL TWICE

TABLE 9: Specialty

Die

Roll Specialty Adjustment

01-49 Nothing 0

50-69 Massage + 10%

70-79 Anal Sex + 20%

80-89 Oral Sex + 40%

90-97 Bondage + 60%

98-99 Roll Twice + 80%

00 Roll Thrice + 100%

TABLE 10: Inclination

Die

Roll Inclination Adjustment

01 Loathe + 100%

02 Hate + 75%

03-04 Dislike + 50%

05-06 Aloof + 25%

07-08 Sympathetic - 30%

09-11 Interested - 40%

12-14 Playful - 50%

15-16 Capacious - 60%

17-18 Fondness - 70%

19 Infatuation - 80%

20 Passionate - 90%

TABLE 11: Disposition Modifier To Inclination

Die

Roll Disposition Mod.

01-02 Angry -3

03-04 Jealous -2

05-07 Pensive -1

08-10 Tired 0

11-13 Tender +1

14-15 Excited +2

16-17 Ardent +3

18-19 Erotic +5

20 Obsessed +6

TABLE 12: Charisma Of Client Modifier To Inclination

Charisma Mod.

0-12 0

13-16 +1

17 +2

18 +3

TABLE 13: Racial Multipliers to cost

Race Multiplier

Human 1.0

Elven 5.0

Half-Elven 2.5

Dwarven 3.0

Halfling 4.0

Orchish 0.5

Half-Orchish 0.7

Exotic (Other) 8.0

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FILLING THE HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE

The information for this section is taken from the out-of-print

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

If you find this classic RPG aide, grab it.

A brothel, bawdy house, whore house, relaxation emporium, or whatever the name are places where a person may go for an evening of entertainment (so to speak).

A brothel comes in three sizes: Size Employees

Small 4d4

Medium 6d6

Large 8d8

In addition to the regular employees listed above, there will be a number of amateurs who use a house as a base. They will usually average 50% of the regular staff of that house. There will usually be a small number of girls in training, frequently working as maids for the top regulars. They will number approximately 25% of the regulars - these girls do not yet work with the customers.

As Table 1 shows, there are four classes of brothels. The GM can roll randomly or choose. Slavery is banned in most places, but not all; so it is included in the table.

TABLE 1: Brothel Classes

Die

Roll Class

01-03 Fine

04-12 Normal

13-16 Low

17-20 Slave

House amateurs usually receive about one-half the going rate; one does not find amateurs on a slave house. The racial mix in the average house of its class is given on Table 2; one may either specify the race of the girl involved (as in the rules in the prostitute random generator), or roll dice (1d100) for each girl to see who's available.

TABLE 2: Races Found In Different Classes

Race Fine Normal Low Slave

Human 01-62 01-67 01-70 01-60

Elven 63-70 68-70 --- 61-64

Half-Elven 71-82 71-79 71-75 65-74

Dwarven 83-84 80 --- 75

Halfling 85 81 --- 76

Orchish 86-88 82-87 76-84 77-84

Half-Orchish 89-97 88-99 85-00 85-95

Exotic (Other) 98-00 00 --- 96-00

Houses tend to be run by women, although some are managed by men (occasionally chosen by the girls, frequently simply the "boss" who has hired them). If run by a woman, she is usually (80%) a high rank courtesan herself, and will occasionally be available to preferred (wealthy - and I do mean filthy, stinkin' rich) customers.

There are usually some additional costs involved in patronizing a courtesan in such an establishment. Although entertainment is usually provided at no extra cost in the major houses, a character should expect to spend the price of the girl's meal and alcoholic beverages. If a character should wish to spend the entire night with the lady of his choice, the cost increase by 50%. This does, of course, provide one with a room for the night as well as a cuddly bed companion. If a man is dealing with one of the girls who work on the street, there is a 25% surcharge to provide a room, unless the customer has nearby (within 2 to 3 blocks at the farthest) quarters.

Time spent in a house can be as much as 4 to 6 hours (if not overnight). With one of the street girls, an interlude should occupy about 1-1/2 to 2 hours.

The chance of a prostitute having a disease is less based on the class of a house in which the girl works. The higher the class of the house, the better health care the girls receive, and the lower the chances of infection.

In a Normal house, there is a -5% modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. In a Fine house, there is a -10% modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. In a Slave house, there is a -15% modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. This is high because most slavers consider losing income or valuable property to disease uneconomical. With the girls on the street, there is no modifier to the chance of the girl being infected.

CASE: THE BLUE TAVERN (ENTERTAINMENT AND PLEASURE)

The information for this section is taken from the out-of-print

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

If you find this classic RPG aide, grab it.

The Blue Tavern

(Entertainment and pleasure)

OWNER: Kinalla Silkskin (STR: 9, DEX: 9, CON: 15, INT: 12, WIS: 9, CHA: 12) was once considered the most beautiful and accomplished courtesan in the city (40 years ago). She is still attractive (particularly for the generic set), and will occasionally entertain a customer. Black- haired (with the help of a good hairdresser), black-eyed, and still slender, she has a good business mind, and succeed in purchasing the Blue Lantern from its former madame some 20 years ago; the quality and name of the establishment have increased under her management.

HOURS: 24 hours a day.

EXTERIOR: A three-story building that is slightly inset from the street proper. It has a wide opening centered on the ground floor, above which hangs a large lantern which glows blue (the color is intense enough to be easily distinguished even in full daylight). There is an ally on the south side of the building, a walled garden in the rear, and a row of small shops to the immediate north.

INTERIOR: Immediately inside the opening is a spacious room dominated by a fountain which sprays a lightly scented blue liquid into the air above the wide basin. Three elaborately carved screens block the view of the other exits from this room.

Behind the screen to the left is a lounge (to handle the musicians and entertainers who perform in the theater). A hall leads to the wings of the theater, and to a dressing room. To the right is a large office, where the accounting and management personnel work. It is seldom occupied after about 6:00 PM, and is almost always locked, even during normal business hours.

The opening behind the third screen leads to a room with a wide marble staircase. To the left is the "Hall of Beauty".. where many fair flowers wait to be plucked. There are usually 4d4 girls lounging about here, in various states of revealment. A wide opening leads to the entertainment area, where wine and song are provided (if you came through the Hall, you already have the women). The theater area is two stories, and has a large stage with a runway and an orchestra pit. A long bar in the rear dispenses alcoholic beverages of many kinds. Meals may be ordered from the kitchen. Most of the food supplies for both the girls and the customers are stored in the pantry off the kitchen.

The remainder of the house is devoted to living (and working) quarters for the regular girls. The smaller rooms on the second and third floors are used for the transient entertainment of clients. The larger rooms area housing for the regulars. Kinalla has a suite on the third floor, with a circular iron staircase giving access to both the garden and the bar.

PRICE RANGE: As per the girl's qualifications.

QUALITY: This house is Fine, and of medium size.

OUTSTANDING ITEMS: There is young newcomer, Bianca (STR: 8, DEX: 10, CON: 18, INT: 9, WIS: 7, CHA: 15), who has made quite a splash with the customers. She is the runaway daughter of a noble family and is a neutral courtesan. She has altered her name and dyed her hair to change her appearance.

CASH BOX: The money gained in the theater-bar is kept in a wooden coffer stashed under the curved end of the bar. The girls are responsible for collecting their own earnings, and are expected to pay one-quarter to the house (if Kinalla discovers a girl is cheating on the amounts, she simply requests her to leave and not return; Kinalla does not believe in violence).

OCCUPANTS:

Staff: Kinalla, Bianca, and 17 other girls (11 of whom split the large rooms used for residence). There are 12 part-timers, 3 maidens-in- training, and various ancillary service personnel (none of whom reside in the house). The bouncer, Kethelas (STR: 17, DEX: 14, CON: 11, INT: 10, WIS: 7, CHA: 10), a bull of a man with sufficient physical power to toss an unruly customer lightly over the garden wall into the alley, has worked at the Blue Lantern as long as Kinalla, and has been her best friend and lover nearly that long.

Customers: Many.

NPC ENCOUNTERS: A cast of thousands.

SPECIAL OPTIONS: None.

SCENARIO: The Nobleman's Daughter

Player's Information: In most of the taverns of the city, the disappearance of Lady Byelaya Tainley some three months ago caused many whispers. She still has not been located, and no ransom note has been received by her family. Descriptions of the 16 year old girl (very beautiful and highly attractive, medium height, slender, blonde hair, blue eyes) have been nosed about, and the family is offering a reward of 1,000 silver pieces for news of her. The girl was always known as a loner by the other maidens of the high, rich quarter. She had only one close friend - Cortina de la Riis.

GM's Notes: Byelaya Tainley has had dreams of being a hetaera (a very high class courtesan) since she heard, as young girl, a very romantic story in which the heroine was a courtesan (she had confided these dreams to no one, not even her closet friend). Three months ago, she dyed her hair brown, changed her name to Bianca, and ran away from home. She began working at the Blue Lantern. No one at the house knows her origins, and certainly no one suspects she is the daughter of a noble house. Bianca (byelaya - both names mean "white") is a natural courtesan - she enjoys men, and men definitely enjoy her. She has that indefinable quality of innocence that is irresistible. She has rapidly progressed, in the little time she has been at the Blue Lantern, from a very green novice to a competent intermediate.

A few weeks ago, Cortina de la Riis, Byelaya's only close friend among the girls of the rich section, was traveling to her voice lessons and spotted a young girl with brown hair who closely resembled Byelaya (Bianca had gone out to do a little shopping, and was not wearing her veil) except for the hair color. Cortina has worried about Byelaya since her disappearance, and has asked her brother Thomas to check out the girl she spotted circumspectly. Thomas is looking around for a group to do some investigating on this matter, and there is a chance he may choose the player-characters to do the job.

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ENCOUNTER NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS

Specific

Kuber Hasbin: Note that the information for this section is taken from The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) page L-2.

Kuber lives and works in the deepest wilds of the city. His house includes a clinic in which he treats anyone who walks in the door (he has even been known to make house calls!), regardless of financial status (there ain't none in his part of town). Kuber doesn't practice healing for the love of mankind (or any other race, for that matter). He is totally interested in the spectrum of disease available in the area. At times he has been heard to comment that he has "seen diseases I would not have believed it possible for a person to contract. With what this one man had, he should have been dead 5 years ago!" Kuber's house is given an unobtrusive guard by the Thieves' Guild, who appreciate the work he is doing, whatever his motivation. Anyone in the quarter can give directions to Kuber's House.

Cindy Wind Rider

Elf Female 5th Level Priest of the elven goddess of love and beauty

Homeworld: Any but she was created for Planes

Faction: The Society of Sensation

S: 10, I: 10, W: 16, C: 14, D: 16, Ch: 18, L: 9; AL: CN (she follows the bitch rule); htk: 26; To Hit: 18; #AT: 1; Dmg: Weapon

Age: 26 Height: 1.63m (62 in) Weight: 56Kg (114 lb) Hair: Black with a silver strip Eyes: Light Blue

Granted Powers:

level 1 - friends

level 2 - Charm person (only on males)

level 7 - +1 on Charisma

level 10 - Can make philter of love 1/week.

Requirements of Priesthood:

- Weapon skill in bow, net, staff, mace, sling, mancatcher

- Armor of leather or chain-mail

- Spheres: all, charm, creation, guardian, healing, necromantic, plant,

protection, sun, wards*, weather*; (* minor access)

Psionic Wild Talent: Sexual Pheromones Secretion (Con-4, 9, 6/round) PSP: 48

Weapon Skills: Long Bow, Staff

Nonweapon Skills: Singing, Dancing, Religion, Healing, Seduction, Sexual Knowledge, Massage, Fast Talking, Fortune Telling, Herbalism, Riding.

Preferred Spells: Cure Light Wounds (1), Bless (1), Cause Fear (1), Camouflage (2), Music of Spheres (2), Hold Person (2), Charm Person or Mammal (2), Bestow Curse (3), Magical Vestment (3).

Role-playing notes: The priest must always give shelter and succor to young lovers.

Cindy Wind Rider (version 2)

Elf Female 5th Level Battle Dancer (Fighter / Water Cleric)

Homeworld: Any but she was created for the Sun World

Tribe: Wind Dancer

S: 11, I: 10, W: 16, C: 15, D: 18, Ch: 19, L: 9; AL: CN (she follows the bitch rule); htk: 38; To Hit: 16; #AT: 2 (two elven bone long swords); Dmg: 1d8 (+1 when dancing)

Age: 18 Height: 2.00m (75 in) Weight: 70Kg (138 lb) Hair: Black with a silver strip Eyes: Light Blue

Special Benefits: Battle Dancers can attack with two weapons without penalties. With a successful use of dancing skill she receives a additional +1 attack/damage/armor class bonus.

Special Hindrances: If she fails her dancing skill roll she receives a -1 penalty for 1d8 rounds.

Granted Powers: Ignore Water, Water Breathing, Healing Draft, Body of Water, Turn Undead

Psionic Wild Talent: Sexual Pheromones Secretion (Con-4, 9, 6/round) PSP:48

Weapon Skills: Long Sword, Long Bow

Nonweapon Skills: Blind Fighting, Dancing, Religion, Healing, Seduction, Singing, Sexual Knowledge, Massage, Fast Talking, Fortune Telling, Spellcraft.

Preferred Spells: Cure Light Wounds (1), Create Water (1), Cause Fear (1), Speak With Water (2), Crystallize (2), Hold Person (2), Charm Person or Mammal (2), Bestow Curse (3), Magical Vestment (3).

Role-Playing Notes: No one impersonate the elven independent spirit as perfectly as Cindy Wind Rider. As many Sun elves she is always in a rush, figuratively and literally racing to stay in the now. She rarely makes plans or thinks about the future. She wants to live every moment in an expressive joy. She will love, play, sing, dance and tries to enjoy herself in every moment. She will love with no obligations or promises, just an intense, unrestrained and overflowing love. She will refuse to think or plane beyond the now. She is very moody and normally surprises everybody with her actions.

She is very inconsequent, but without any malice or evil intentions. In a certain point of view she is very innocent. She is very beautiful and she knows how to use her beauty. She is a great dancer and singer and she will prefer tunes of sadness and love. Her dances are extremely seductive and no male will forget after catching even a brief glimpse of her captivating moves.

She normally dresses few clothes and tries to enhance her seductiveness and she is particular vulnerable to beautiful gems. Anytime a male gives her a jewel she must roll in Moods & Attitudes table with a +2 bonus (see Cindy's table bellow).

Die

Roll Moods & Attitudes

1 furious, hate or extremely depressed or stressed

2 pissed off, vengeful, cruel

3 self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic

4 depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate, pessimistic

5 vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling

6 restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with

6 playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker

7 happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly

8 desperate lover, in love, passionate, fiery, enthusiastic, nymphomaniac

She is a very funny character to play and sometime she will create very interesting and funny situations. One of the best stories was when she was in a city with a party. She went out with one of the party members (another female) and decide to go to the elven market at night. It is obvious that two beautiful women walking alone at night in a poor district, cannot pass without problems. When a thief gets her in the neck and starts threaten her, She chose to start her wild talent "trying to attract some help" in her words. Imagine her face when she rolls a power score (look the power below). Her friend could run away when everybody on street starts fighting for her. And this was not the end, three guys could run out with her. They carry her to a poor house and you can imagine what would happen. Her luck was that her friend could call the entirely party and they run to try to save her.

The party's ranger uses his wild talent (animal affinity) to get the olfactory abilities of a tigone, trying to improve his tracking skills. (He doesn't know about her wild talent and the player didn't realize what will happen.) Thus, he suffers the same effects of the burglars but he was able to find her quickly. Then a furious half- tigone jump over the three thieves before they could do any damage. And again, this was not the end, when the party arrives she is still maintaining her psionic power. I (the DM) try to minimize the problem allowing everybody to roll a save against the power. My remedy doesn't help, because everybody fails the save (6 members). So, the party members start to fight each other.

The end was not less fun, the party's preserver cast hypnotic pattern and again everybody fails the save, so, he get her, cast an invisibility spell on her, and run back to the inn. At this time she went out of PSP and the power stops but the preserver doesn't. They had an affair (and, one week after, the players became boy and girlfriend). In the next day she rolls and 8 on attitude and fall in love to him.

Some days later, she lost her interest on him and starts looking for another one, saying "Why couldn't I love two guys at the same time? Or maybe three ..." (no problems with the players, they are going well and she will not try this argument in real life). The affair stops there, the preserver is lawful good and didn't like the idea. We really enjoy the mess, nobody could stop laughing, but she is afraid of using the power again.

General

Midwife: This encounter is with a solitary female, whose job it is to deliver babies. The midwife will be returning from a delivery or going to one (in which case she will be in a hurry).

She will only react in a friendly manner if she is approached with great caution. She will flee on an adjusted reaction score of 55 or less, and on a score of 25 or less she seek the help of a patrol to apprehend the offenders who "scared" her (whether they actually did or not).

There is a 20% chance that the midwife will possess useful information, which she will freely divulge to party members if she is befriended first. She will be offended by an offer to pay her for what she knows.

Prostitute: NOTE that this encounter was taking from an old adventure and contradicts other prostitute information that is found in this guide.

This encounter is a one or more women (can be men for women adventurers). The GM must decide the number relative to population, law, underworld activity, etc..

A prostitute will be somewhat annoying trying to convince her prey that she is desirable. If she succeeds, her fee is usually between 20 and 100 SP.

There is a 75% chance that a prostitute will possess valuable information. Such information requires a fee of course. There is also a 25% chance that the prostitute has a disease (natural or magical).

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PORNO PERIODICALS OF HUMANOIDS

Low-intelligent beings have an obsession with smut. They love to purchase and look at pornographic periodicals. Player character's can come across such periodicals in humanoid housing, a seedy magazine stand, a gross conquered enemy, etc.. These periodicals need a name and the following system gives a periodical a name:

1) Roll 2d10 on a Table 1 to get the race that created the periodical. The writing (if any) in the periodical will be of the preferred language of the race.

2) To get the name of the periodical:

- Roll 1d30 on Table 2 to get an adjective. You may roll more than once if

desired.

- Roll 1d20 on Table 3 to get an noun.

Thus, a roll of 4 and a roll of 14 would produce Jiggling Hooters. But this isn't good enough for the old GM, so he rolls for another adjective and gets a 25 Oily Jiggling Hooters. And the roll from step 1 reveals that Orcs created this periodical. Thus, we have Oily Jiggling Hooters of Orcs.

TABLE 1: Humanoid Creators

Die Die

Roll Humanoid Roll Humanoid

2 Bugbear 12 Drow Elf

3 Gully Dwarf 13 Ettin

4 Gnoll 14 Goblin

5 Hag 15 Half-Orc

6 Harpy 16 Human

7 Hill Giant 17 Hobgoblin

8 Kobold 18 Lizard Man

9 Mongrelman 19 Orc

10 Ogre 20 Troglodyte

11 Were-Rat

TABLE 2: Adjectives

Die

Roll Adjective Roll Adjective Roll Adjective

1 Arousing 11 Big 21 Delectable

2 Erotic 12 Fleshly 22 Greasy

3 Hard 13 Hefty 23 Hors d'oeuvre

4 Jiggling 14 Juicy 24 Large

5 Luscious 15 Moist 25 Oily

6 Profuse 16 Savory 26 Scrumptious

7 Sensual 17 Slimy 27 Sticky

8 Stimulating 18 Succulent 28 Sumptuous

9 Swollen 19 Tantalizing 29 Tender

10 Titillating 20 Voluptuous 30 Warted

TABLE 3: Nouns

Roll Noun Roll Noun

1 Balls 11 Bolas

2 Butts 12 Caves

3 Clubs 13 Dungeons

4 Holes 14 Hooters

5 Jugs 15 Knockers

6 Lingerie 16 Mounds

7 Pits 17 Rods

8 Staves 18 Strongholds

9 Stuff 19 Swords

10 Wands of Wonder 20 Wonkers

A typical periodical may contain perverse artwork, Q&As, forum, advice column, letters, or raunchy stories. They are not necessary created on printing presses. They can be hand-written or drawn by scribes or artists. The lower intelligent beings are so primitive they usually have clumps of scrolls with their perversion on them. The key for success with this system is for the GM to think. How intelligent are the authors? What resources do they possess? What is believable and realistic? This isn't a detailed system, it is merely guidelines to stimulate creative thought in the GM.

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SEXIST QUOTES

Unfortunately, many characters (usually make) find it necessarily to say derogatory, sexist things to others. Below is presented a list of these things. Most are geared toward woman but this is unintentional. When searching and asking for quotes from various sources, that is what turned up. These quotes are not intended to offend anybody. They are fun and entertainment.

A percentile table is given if a GM wishes to get random quotes.

TABLE A: Quotes

01-02 A drunk wench is fair game.

03-04 Aghast that's not a girl its a harpy.

05-06 Ah! A magical dildo.

07-08 'Ello, you don't know me, but I've been watchin' you.

09-10 Gruel oozes from her twat.

11-12 Her words say "No", my dagger says "Yes".

13-14 Her hole is bigger than the astral plane.

15-16 His lance is bigger than mine.

17-18 Honestly constable, her tunic was open.

19-20 I bought her venison, she owes me.

21-22 I'd like to put my sword in her scabbard.

23-24 I love the salty taste of the mermaid twat.

25-26 I said use your hand, not your hand axe.

27-28 I'll slay your dragon for ya.

29-30 I'll try anything once; twice if it hurts.

31-32 I'm going to crank on the wench.

33-34 It must be nice to have magical protection.

35-36 Lets do it like the fairy folk.

37-38 Loot the village...Ravage the women...Burn the crops...

39-40 Now I know why its called a bonesnapper.

41-42 She likes to do it gorgon-style.

43-44 She was asking for it dressed in that alluring plate mail.

45-46 The horse needs rest, lets move into the dark woods.

47-48 The mermaid smells like fish.

49-50 The women, how much for the women?

51-52 There's one of her, and five of us. Heh, Heh, Heh!

53-54 Trust me babe.

55-56 Two bits for your woman, five bits for your horse.

57-58 Where does the mermaid hide her vagina?

59-60 Why do child-bearers carry weapons?

61-62 Wonder bitch there? She's just a blond and brainless slut!

63-00 REROLL

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TIDBITS

THE BOBITT MANEUVER

The Bobitt Maneuver requires a character who gets a minimum of two attacks every other round. First, the character must make a called shot (-4 penalty) with a sharp weapon to remove pants (robe, tunic, etc.). On the second attack of the round, the character must make a called shot (-6 penalty do to difficulty) to slice the penis off.

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AN ABYSS LEVEL

The smells of incense, perfume, and oily naked body's are thick in the air as you enter this Abyssal layer. The layer itself encompasses a massive palace that stretches far and wide, beyond the imagination. This layer, is the home of the unholy Queen of all Succubi and Incubi, Silviana. Being the demon princess of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy this layer is filled with countless thousands upon thousands of succubi and incubi engrossed with every conceivable sexual act. The halls of this palace are all lined with beautiful slaves whose bodies have been painted gold, and their sexual organs made to be on display for all to see as the slaves are forced to stand in erotic positions, living statues for their demon princess. This plane gives new meaning to the idea of torturous pleasure, as the lust and desires of any slave or demon upon this plane will rarely, if ever, go satisfied for any significant period of time. Demons and monstrosities populate this plane by the thousands, but each one is always deceptively beautiful, their purpose being to seduce all intruders and slaves into their service. The pheromones that permeate this layer are such that any mortal who enters must make a save verses poison each hour at -3, or their lustful desire will become so strong that they will stop what they are doing and race to join the nearest orgy within the layer (since they are so many going on all the time, one shouldn't be far). Characters with a high wisdom or willpower will get certain bonuses against the save, at the GM's discretion.

It is rumored that demons and daemons from all over frequent this layer constantly when they have a chance to pursue personal pleasures.

Silviana

Demon Prince(ess) of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy

Queen of Succubi and Incubi

Lesser God(dess)

Movement: 12"

AC: -5

Hits to Kill: 69 (16 die)

To Hit: 5

Number of Attacks: 1

Damage per attack: special

Special Attacks : see below

Special Defences: see below

Magic Resistance: 50%

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Symbol: figurines of men and women in erotic positions

Plane: the Abyss (the Layer of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy)

Psionics: nil

Experience: (use normal charts of system to calculate)

Str: 18 Dex: 20 Con: 23 Int: 21 Wis: 16 Cha: 25 Com: 30

The Queen of this layer herself will always appear in a form that can spark the most wanton abandon of lust and sexual desire possible in her victims minds. However her true form is slightly different. Being the fact that she represents all spheres of immoral sexual desire, the Queen is, in her true form, a bisexual hermaphrodite. She is really neither female or male, but both, however because from the known accounts by sages and wizards who have some knowledge of Silviana, she is referred to as a female because she has appeared as one more often than a male by most tales. Even in her true form her aura of lust and sex is enough to cause any man or woman to have hard problems controlling their sexual desire for Silviana.

Silviana is the queen of all Succubi and Incubi, and her home plane is a palace filled with them, all constantly in the acts of immortal sex. When confronting victims or intruders, Silviana always takes on the guise of an extremely beautiful woman (or man) that brings out the most possible desire in her victims. Her true form is no less beautiful. Being a hermaphrodite, Silviana has soft creamy skin, long golden hair, and sky blue eyes. Silviana's body is a perfect meld of male and female quality's, almost to the point where, except for the very desirably sized and shaped sex organs, one might be mistaken that Silviana is simply a masculine looking female. When confronting a victim, Silviana will switch to either, only her female characteristics or her male characteristics. Anyone who gazes upon Silviana when in either form, must make an automatic save verses petrifaction (at -3, -6 if on the home plane of the demon) or be overcome by such a massive amount of sexual desire that they will drop all they are doing and immediately prostrate themselves naked before her/him. Note: if a character in the party has expressed they do not have a sexual desire for Silviana's present choice of form (stated at the time of the save, GM's keep record of what they say) they must (still make a normal save, no minus). Silviana's sexual pheromones are so powerful that they can alter the personality and characteristics of a character to desire to engage in sex that would otherwise be not normal for them! Appropriate bonus's (up to the GM) can be awarded to characters who have expressed characteristics that might be helpful in combating Silviana's charm.

When Silviana physically attacks (she rely's more on her charm than actually having to attack someone) she will attempt to strike someone, anyone so struck will be drained of one level (including all hit points gained for that level, spells, etc.). If Silviana has charmed someone and decides to attack them, she will kiss them. Her kiss, being exceptionally deadly, will drain 3 levels from a victim. Anyone who is completely drained by Silviana is doomed to serve as a pleasure slave for her, for all eternity.

Silviana can summon 2-8 Succubi (Incubi) at will, or 1-4 of any other type of demon. As for her relations with other demon lords and princes, they remain neutral in all situations being the fact that all the other lords like spending their vacations on her plane...

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ADVENTURING IDEAS

The Love Boat

The player characters book passage on a magic-flying luxury cruise ship nicknamed "The Love Boat" for a relaxing time in the clouds. On the ship, the PCs encounter the crew: Captain Stubing, "Gopher", "Doc", Isiac, Julie McCoy. Also, they encounter loads of interesting people and plenty of opportunities to use the rules and stuff that are presented in the guide.

Dog Man Needs A Date

An uncharismatic man hires the PCs to help him attain the affection of a lovely maiden. This allows great opportunity for role- playing, which includes buying new clothes for him, teaching him how to act, etc.. Problems could arise if the maiden falls in love with one of the PCs. Also, the maiden could have a large fighter boyfriend who could be really angry.

Twins

A PC seduces a very beautiful nice willing person. The following day, the PC meets the twin who is mean, bad, and boring. This could lead to nice effects.

Paternity Suite

After returning with the spoils of a great adventure, a male character is confronted with a paternity suit from a fair lass who he was promiscuous with only a few months ago.

Vampire & Seduction

The party is on some sort of extended vacation, staying in an inn/bar. A frequent visitor is a tall, dark, suave, charming man dressed in formal evening wear, accompanied by a different woman every time. He comes in every 2nd or 3rd night. He always orders bloody marys and doesn't drink them. He is quite wealthy and very pleasant. There is something almost magnetic about him. He has fascinating eyes. (GM should do everything he can to make it believable that he could be a vampire, despite the unusual setting (city).

Either he charms (seduction) a female party member and takes her away, or a beautiful dancer comes in looking for her missing sister, who was last seen coming to this bar with the tall dark gentleman. She tries to convince a party member to help her look for her sister being seductive about it. Both are eventually charmed by the Gentleman. In any case, make a party member disappear into this Gentleman's lair.

He has a gothic style house in a nice part of town. There is nothing obviously amiss here. If the party asks around, this guy is a pillar of society, a kind, philanthropic fellow, well respected by his peers. He runs a magic shoppe. He is a mid-level wizard with a head for business, who gave up adventuring to start a business.

His house looks just like a vampires house might look (black velvet curtains, etc). He has a private sanctuary inn his basement, the only entrance to which is a rune-encrusted door (trapped or enchanted in any way appropriate to the party). He supposedly has a chapel down there, but really has a large complex, where various vampiric rituals, and all-night parties take place. All of the missing people have been charmed into believing that they have been turned into slave vampires. They will aid their master if at all possible.

The party must break in and forcibly take their companion away from this place. Again, make the evidence somewhat contradictory whether the Gentleman is a vampire or not. Most evidence should say yes, but make some things contradict this.

The gentleman has a cursed ring of the vampire, a powerful evil artifact which makes him believe he is a vampire and gives him many of the powers of a vampire, as well as some of the drawbacks. Make him dislike things that cause a vampire harm, but don't make it obvious whether is works. Make him have a reflection, but have a dead vampire victim show up, etc.. At the end, have the party realize that he is not a vampire at all but rather is a cursed fellow with an intrinsically good nature.

ESSAY: WHAT IF A CHARACTER RAPES A NPC?

This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a Internet RPG discussion. The thoughts written here are not necessarily those of any one person. Many points of view went into this essay.

In reality, rape usually involves great physical injury, but rape is much more than the infliction of physical pain. Rape affects the victim psychologically and spiritually as well something a mere cut (no matter how big) does not have.

Is rape nothing more than a different form combat? When one person rapes another, what the rapist is doing is degrading the victim. Even foes that hate each other have at least a grudging respect for each other. If they lose that respect, they run the risk of being killed because they have underestimated their opponent. Rape shows a total lack of respect and decency. Rape is a one way thing that combat is not.

From a Christian perspective, people were made by God to relate to each other with love; it's easy to see that rape is one of the greatest violations of this design specification, considering that sex is, in its natural state, one of the most intimate ways that two people can relate to each other and express their love for one another.

In RPGs, the physical side of things can be changed with the use of spells, potions, etc.; but not the mental and spiritual side. Even if a female character (whether PC or NPC) were to have her virginity restored do to magic, there is no way one could consider her to be a virgin any more. Because virginity is not only physical state but a mental and spiritual one as well. Technically, a male doesn't change physically after having sex as a woman does. Once that innocence and purity has been lost, it cannot be regained. That is why it is so valuable.

In most modern fantasy literature, rape exists but only as a major plot device. However, In ancient fantasy literature, and in historical fact, the situation is more complex. The Greek gods had not-entirely- consensual sex with mortal women quite often, but they usually employed deception rather than brute force; and the result was usually a child with strange powers, rather than a revolt against the god. Until recently, a man who had non-consensual sex with his wife or his female slave would not have been considered a rapist. Victorious armies would "rape and pillage" as the normal behavior for conquering. So if the GM basing his campaign with historical accuracy, than rape as a plot device might be accepted.

When rape does appear in an RPG, it is most likely because the GM and/or players are immature. Sure some players like to introduce sex into their campaign, usually humorously. Albeit a lot of people who use sex in RPGs are immature and acting out juvenile fantasies, some players can handle the use of sex in RPGs constructively. However, rape is not humorous nor constructive. Immature players are often treating the topic to casually. Mature players are more familiar with rape and think about it before taking it lightly. The topic should be given some form of respect.

Having rape in an RPG might be a good plot device if used by the mature GM in an adventure. The real trouble of rape in a RPG arises when a character wishes to indulge in such a horrible act.

Rape is not the way to solve a problem, even if it is only a game. There are always other options, instead of implementing one that definitely isn't funny, and could also disturb the players. Taking this course of action, no matter how chaotic a campaign, is probably not a good idea and the GM might wish to take serious action on the character that performs such an act.

Remember, a player would never think of having a character perform an act of rape on an NPC if the NPC was male. A male NPC would just be beat-up quite easily and rape wouldn't be considered. So why is it that somebody will suggest such a course of action if the NPC is a female? Well because it can be done is not a good enough reason; nor because it will shut her up is a reason.

Many gamers play RPG's to escape from the horrors of the real world. Role-playing games are suppose to be fun but abominations like rape ruin the fun. There is little reason to bring that sort of graphic violence into the game; especially from a player-character. Most game sessions are played with enough problem solving that they can be enjoyed perfectly well without the wrong-type of violence.

Also, using such violence in the game sounds as if such a hideous act as rape is being condoned. Without judging the player, the player's reasons for such "role-playing" could be dealt with outside the game session so as not to cause to much trouble.

Remember, rape is a very disturbing, terrifying subject for women. Having such a thing in a RPG, even though it is a game, might keep women from playing the game. Women provide a very wonderful and unique outlook in RPGs and they would be missed.

As a general rule, dragons and swords are not an expected means of death in the real world. Nor does anybody anticipate ever meeting Cthulhu or Tiamat. Death is something that can happen to anyone at any time realistically as well as in the realm of RPGs. But rape is an act of cruelty and unmitigated evil which is also a violation of not only the body but of the mind. It also has a deeply personal affect the real world in that it is a danger that all must face, if not for ourselves, then for our wives, sisters, daughters, and other family and friends. A very real danger that makes most people feel uncomfortable to discuss.

The bottom line is that RPGs are supposed to be fun for everyone playing. For a lot of people, it puts them in a medieval setting wheRe they can be what they want and do what they want. It lets them escape reality for a little while and leave problems behind. How realistic does an RPG need to be? Does it have to mimic the real-world so closely? Don't bring in one of woman's greatest fears into the game. It isn't necessary.

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ESSAY: HAS ANYONE PLAYED A HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTER?

This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a Internet RPG discussion list. The thoughts written here are not necessarily those of any one person. Many points of view went into this essay. Also, the validity of statements made is not known.

"I've never played one, but..."

"We're not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay."

The "Army of Lovers" (i.e. exclusively homosexual company of soldiers) was something out of the ancient Greek city-states. There was only one city-state, Thebes, where being gay was a "requirement" if you wished to become a soldier. This was not a strict requirement, but was considered highly advantageous. It was reported to be (by writers in other city states) to be one of the most effective armies at the time. The unit was called the Thebian Sacred Band, and they served under Alexander. They worked in buddy teams: a spear-men and a shield man. They were renown for their extreme closeness, fierceness, and efficiency in battle (esp. if their lover was killed!)

Note, that in Sparta, all male children were raised up by the state, trained to be soldiers, the menial work was left to the "helotas" (slaves). They had male companionship for most of the time, so that is why their sexual interests were different. In Sparta, homosexuality was accepted, but not like it was in Thebes. Spartans had more of a Roman respect for women.

That's not to say that romantic involvement, or even long-term relationships weren't common between soldiers in the other city-states. It had a lot to do with the inequality of women, and their place, in ancient Greek society. In ancient Greece, women were considered inferior to men. Not quite (but almost) property. Certainly not something a person would want to spend lots of quality time with. The most common opinion of women was that they were good for one thing - having babies. If a man had to have sex for that, well, that's one of the things a dutiful husband did. But if you wanted a relationship, passionate sex, someone you could talk with afterwards, men were where it was at (although this is a bit exaggerated).

It was common practice in upper-crust Athenian society for young boys to be "taken in" by an older gentleman, who would become the youth's mentor and also lover. This was considered a healthy upbringing.

From what remained of the Greek literature, it is obvious that women were more often that subject of male sexual desire, than men. After all, it was a women (Helena) the Spartans fought for a couple of decades with the Trojans, according to Homeros. Odusseus and his soldiers were tempted several times by females, on his journey to home, and it was a female (his wife) he wanted to return so badly, and this female was courted by many - noble - males, and he got so mad when he saw this that he wiped out all those males because of one female.

Now, in Rome things were not quite the same. The Romans held a similar low opinion of women. Not quite as low, but it was down there. Women were considered eminently suitable for sex. Discussion, companionship, camaraderie, were all still male-oriented, but women were considered capable of satisfying the purely physical needs. That's not to say that there was anything wrong with having sex with a man. As long as you were on top. Screwing a guy was manly; being screwed was effeminate, shameful. Caesar came under fire several times, not because of his numerous affairs with men, but because he liked to be on the bottom. However, although it is true that women had their strict rule in the society, they were not supposed to mingle in politics, and so on. But those that read "Antigone" from Sophokles will see that they were not thought of as domestic animals. Or even worse, women were considered property to be used for the reason of reproduction and personal gain for a family.

Most Romans were very touchy on the issue of homosexuality. If one wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright as long as one were a closet homosexual. If one were open, one could pretty much kiss any chance of a political life good bye! Nero was the Emperor, and could crush his enemies. If he wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright cause he had power. Romans believed that men should have women, and the women should be subservient to men. If one wanted to have another man, go ahead, just don't tell anyone!

It wasn't brought up in Glory of Rome, but actually Julius Caesar's Tenth Legion had a slight reputation for being Caesar's "favorite" legion.

Both societies were very male oriented, which is why there is little writing about lesbians at the time (though it was there).

In a typical European setting, homosexuality would certainly be frowned upon. This does not, of course, mean that there aren't any homosexuals running around - just that they are secretive, repressed, etc..

One can't deny that homosexuality was widespread before the advent of Christianity, but it was considered as an alternative only, not the necessarily the way. In any case, there is no need to make an issue with homosexuality in a campaign, but having various sexual orientations can really make for interesting adventures.

For example, a nobleman's gay lover vanishes or is captured - perhaps to be used against him. So he hires a group of discreet adventures to deal with the situation.

In the Thieves' World books, there are a group of mercenaries known as "Sacred Banders". They appear to be male couples who are excellent fighting teams (it is assumed that they shared the same tents, and did certain things... but they didn't go into it). They are supposedly based on some historical Athenian units, or some such thing.

On one campaign world, which has evolved to cover many continents and cultures, there is a whole spectrum of sexual attitudes. In some cultures, homosexuality is not frowned upon, and is indeed considered to be normal. There is even an island based upon an Aztec legend where there are only women. They are ruled by priestesses who is divinely enabled to brew a potion which will impregnate a woman.

One adventuring party spent a long time travelling with a pirate named Dalin and first mate, Shandar. The two guys were clearly best friends who had been adventuring together for many years. The party was always impressed with how close they were. The group never even suspected the truth.

And now a small exert about a strange character:

"Hendrix is an old, ugly, gnome illusionist. He is lawful evil, and his goal is to have sex with as many different people/things as possible. He wants them willing and alive, but he'll take them by force if necessary. He's also fond of guile.

He has a ring of polymorph self and a couple of other trinkets he's acquired along the way. Whenever he starts a new adventure he joins the adventuring party in disguise. Most of the disguises are helped out by his trinkets, but some of them aren't even plausible. Yet, somehow they keep getting accepted, though. Some examples are Dorien Wolfride a female halfling ranger, Noli of Clan Ironfoots male dwarf wizard (he can't cast spells but fakes it), Honeysuckle Rapevictimson a male half-orc paladin.

Hendrix is actually doing quite well in his mission. Unfortunately, the other adventurers are rabid heterosexuals, so Hendrix has only attempted hetero seduction. He can't wait to see their faces when he's found out."

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PLOTS FOR HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTERS

The Gay Man and the Jealous Wife

Have some important married person (maybe nobility) fall in love with one of the characters. This should be a "from afar" affection originally. Then when the man's wife finds out about it, she could do a couple things. First, try to have the character killed off, so she can keep her husband. Or, she could try to frame the character as being a succubus (or similar) in disguise. Using the theory that her husband COULDN'T be gay, since he married her, hence the character must be using magic or something. Either way, when the wife first begins this stuff, the character should be unaware of the man's feelings, and be tasked with finding out what the lady has against him (the whole party could be affected too).

A variant of this could be a gay couple, where one falls for the character and the other wants the PC dead.

Saying No

A very beautiful women begins making appearances (could be an adventurer) when the party is in town. Initially, she's just friendly towards the party, then little by little it becomes apparent that she's interested in the homosexual. One option, the party must tell her and convince her she's got no chance with him. The character could tell her, and who knows how she'll react when she finds out. Probably, initial rage or disgust, but up to this point, the party should have been getting the impression that she's really a very nice/important/heroic person.

This could lead to further role-playing encounters as the party tries to keep her as a friend.

Land of Fairies, Literally

The party enters a foreign city where homosexual is the norm. The entire party is viewed with disgust (except the gay character, and he is looked down upon for befriending the "straights", said with disgust by all NPCs in the town).

A chance for excellent role-playing encounters for all concerned.

Reverse Rape

The character could be raped by some powerful/important woman. Perhaps a magic-user, who could have some nasty original spells, specifically for torturing the guy. Then it becomes the party's "test of friendship to hunt the offender down and kill her. One would hope they would do no different if it was a female character who was raped by a man.

Evil of Homosexuality

Have the party enter a city/dominion/area where homosexuality is suddenly being persecuted to the extreme (a la Spanish Inquisition). The local ruler has outlawed it, the church too, all the major powers have decide that it is the root of all evil and the reason their city/dominion is undergoing economic hardship (which is just an excuse to cover the results of their own corruption). Homosexuals are being burned at the stake etc...

The homosexual party member might well feel the need to combat this persecution, and if powerful enough, be the champion of local homosexuals. If he/she is stupid enough to confront the ruling elite, a great chase scene can be had, but the party should escape. Now the possibilities for a lengthy campaign where the homosexual character (With or without the aid of the rest of the characters) can form a underground resistance movement. If the character isn't that willing to help out, an old lover can run into him/her on the street and threaten to expose them if they don't help (another way would be to have the character watch as an old lover is burnt at the stake, and character should be resolved to help at that sight).

So, the party gets embroiled in all kinds of planning, raids, rescues, waging the battle for the hearts and minds of the public, maybe even an assassination or three if that's how you're players are. Meanwhile they are pursued an harassed with increasing strength until the climax. Perhaps one of the city/dominion leaders is a really a homosexual, and the party convinces them to confess in front of the people, who knows?

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A FEW GOOD STORIES

One funny occurrence ---

One of the clerics in my party went to an inn that also provided companionship for the night, either preference. When he got his bedmate, he and she had a little fun. (the encounter lasted 10 minutes game time, heh,heh). Afterward, they did it again, and this time it lasted 1 hr. 15 min., with him fainting at the end. When he woke up, he found himself in a cell, and the woman nowhere to be seen.

It turns out that a woman named the White Lich had been taking out potential enemies throughout the kingdom (she is a LICH). It also turned out that it wasn't "white" lich, but "wight" lich.

Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight lich!!!

--- Larry

Learning about true love ---

Mowahpehnoksie (Mo), Plainsman warrior (my character) was on a quest (solo) for a lost plainsman treasure. The first part of the quest was the creation of a sacred bundle, the tribal shaman told Mo that he had to acquire a lock of hair from his one true love as an ingredient in the sacred bundle. As it turned out Mo had a "one true love" in the person of Vasquez, an elven privateer/warrior of extraordinary beauty and sword skill. Mo had been chasing Vasquez for a long time, all to no avail. She kept telling him that she would marry him when he could beat her in a duel. No one had ever beaten her in a duel. Anyhow, Mo sets off for the city where Vasquez was docked. First he checks at the Bloody Blade, a tavern partially owned by Vasquez, the bartender says she is down on the docks talking to her crew (of cutthroats). Mo goes to the docks, the first mate says that she just left and said she would be back in a few days. A disappointed Mo goes back to the tavern to leave a message, but the bartender tells him that Vasquez just came in and went up to her rooms. Mo goes up there and gets invited in. Vasquez is wearing a robe, and has a full bath of water drawn, she dumps Mo into the water, one thing leads to another...

When Mo wakes up, Vasquez is standing by the window, she turns says "Tyche sends her regards" changes into her true form, a succubus and teleports away. Tyche was an old enemy of the adventurers that had heard about Mo's quest, and wanted to set him up. Mo eventually found Vasquez at her father's castle where he had to explain what had happened, and see if she would still give him her hair (she did, taking pity on the fool). To make a long story short, Mo passed through many more trials, and succeeded in the quest. The succubus in the scenario had been careful to control her draining abilities while with Mo, because the real reason for all the subterfuge was delivered to Mo roughly nine months later, a bouncing baby alu-demon. What is the moral of this story? Don't have pre-marital sex? No, then what? Shapechanging creatures can make for very interesting bed partners.

NOTE: Mo and Vasquez were eventually married, and are raising their alu-demon daughter as best they can. Vasquez has more or less forgiven Mo for the whole thing, and even helped rescue the kid when she was kidnapped. They are in semi retirement until Soah is old enough to take care of herself. They are very happy to have weaned her off of eating raw meat.

--- John Daniel

Prostitutes are nasty ---

Our group of four entered a real sleazy town, it was basically a pirates' cove town where pirates, thugs, and assorted baddies resided when they weren't attacking, raping, and pillaging the neighborhood. The group of us (myself a monk, a fighter, cleric, and mage) were searching for the whereabouts of a lady kidnapped from a prominent merchant from our hometown whom we owed favors too for past help. The trail at this point led to this town where he (the supposed ring leader of the kidnappers) had been known to frequent. Of course, none of the "regulars" there wanted anything to do with a bunch of strangers coming in and we were getting nowhere. Of course, my character wanted nothing to do with this place and considered the whole area to be respite with creeps. Our fighter though was a big burlesque guy and found the prostitution there to be a wonderful, wonderful place. Our cleric (who being female had a rough time with the people of the area) basically stuck by my side and the two of us spent more time searching for the damn fighter than getting information on the kidnapping. Of course, he struck it rich with a talkative hooker and found that the person we were looking for was holdup in the harbor on a boat.

Eventually we snuck down there, boarded and captured the criminal, rescued the lady, then had to battle our way back out. Altogether, we were hounded by:

a) the criminal's pals

b) some other rouges who were smitten by our lovely cleric and wanted her

for their own

c) two separate prostitutes who say they are carrying our fighters child

(They can't both be, can they? It must be a scam, at least HE says

so...)

d) the "ladies'" pals and family who both insist on marriage or financial

reimbursements for what he did to these poor ladies

Well, we made it out fine. Returned to our hometown where we're sort of hero's now, but in danger whenever we leave. Ahhh... what a life adventurers leave.

THE MORALE: Don't let a fighter run rampant in a sleazy town filled with lots of lovely prostitutes.

--- Toa the monk

A cleric's penance ---

Although our group engaged in sexual encounters (old favorites like the innkeeper's daughter, the farmer's wife, etc.), it usually had severe consequences. After the treatment of one character, a cleric, the group stayed clear of these opportunities.

This character, a cleric, was seduced by a bar wench during one of our stops. Although the sex was supposedly great, soon after the cleric began to notice a tingling sensation in his groin. Sure enough, his deity had struck him with a venereal disease, and no spell could take it off! The condition became more debilitating until finally, after intense prayer, his god forgave him as long as a certain penance was followed. This involved the usual series of prayers, and one extra condition: on the ground there magically appeared a bag of holding (usable only for the purpose it was intended), and inside was a large supply of BURLAP UNDERWEAR! There was enough for the cleric to change three times daily, which, of course, he was required to do! We all steered clear of barmaids after that!

--- Mario R. Borelli

A Barbarian's Boo-Boo ---

Our adventuring group was exploring a keep of some type looking for the main baddie who was female. When we found her bedroom, she wasn't there. Of course, we began looking through it when one of the male barbarian PC's (played by a female) accidently spilled some perfume on himself which had strange properties. The Barbarian and the elven female mage (played by a male) had a certain sudden uncontrollable urge to make use of the nearby bed (that lasted for about 2 hours game time not real time). By this time everyone was laughing hysterically because their characters were standing outside the open door and were watching the entertainment. Now after everyone stopped laughing (and who wouldn't with a low level barbarian and a mid-level mage going at it) the GM had asked questions and rolled his dice and wouldn't ya just know that the mage got pregnant (snicker).

What made the whole thing so interesting was mainly the fact that the characters are both opposite gender from their players (and the mage doesn't really know she's pregnant yet).

The GM used The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge to make the whole tower and adventure. The GM kept flippin' through and referring to the guide.

--- Xandar

Precise Constitution Points ---

I'd like to tell you about my character (at least, the one for whom this guide is good, since I'm playing at least two characters at any given moment, but that's another story). He is an Elf fighter/bard that due to becoming undead and being resurrected lost 1 Constitution point from his original 11. He asked to return to life (you won't believe it) because he fell in love with a Druid. Due to his chaotic nature, he did some nasty things later (like tempting the police-chief for a gain of about 300 gold pieces...) and had a lover-fight with the druid, but as he apologized to her and did everything he could to please her - they are back together again, and then what? Just as we leave the city, towards the castle that contains a sword and a horse dedicated for the paladin in out party by his god, we meet three(!) meduses!!!! And guess who's becoming a stone on the spot? Yes, me!!! (The other me is a holly-ghost, an undead lawful-good priest of the God of the Sun (I know it sounds crazy) and he is protected by him, so he only got paralyzed in another meduse attack). However, one of my best friends, a vampire magic user (would you please repeat THAT???!!!) succeeded in using him vampiric abilities and use a higher level vampire mage to cast stone-to-flesh on me. He did that three times, 'cause I failed the system shock twice... So, and here we get to our point, I'm left with a Constitution of 7!!! (I still have a Dexterity of 19 and Strength of 17, but I LOVE having sex!!!) ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Since my GM makes me, as a bard, write and sing REAL songs for my spells (I need no spell-books or material components - just a suitable song), I am announcing my next spell-song, which I hope to complete by next session: Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On!

Lately, the Fellowship has found itself at Salba-the Layer of Momentary Pleasure (this is a part of the Layered World, an anomaly located in the Mirn-Kaia Universe, where sex is a requirement for all visitors, and the local monetary unit is one Orgasm (four Orgasms = Multiple Orgasm). The local dominant race, the Salbars, can (and do) grasp momentary sexual pleasure as a physical object in the fabric of Time (in Mirn-Kaia metaphysical terms, Salba is related to the Sphere of Time in a passive way). The job of the second species of Salba, the Timplags, and of all visitors, is to provide sexual divertissement and new experience to the Salbars. As can be imagined, this did give a rise to a lot of really good role-playing. And the bard Luwain, remaining faithful to himself, has sneaked away from the party and remained in Salba, in the bed of no less than Salibu, the Mistress of the Layer.

--- Luwain

A Cleric's Vow ---

I've been in a party with a very complex character. He was a powerful cleric, who had entered clerichood as a sort of escape from his sexuality. He took a vow of chastity of his own accord (his deity certainly didn't care so long as he was a good, faithful cleric).

Once, he was put into no win/no win situation. The only person who could help him was a evil female mage who found him, and his resistance to her many charm, very appealing. Needless to say, the cleric, in order to achieve the good and righteous end, offered himself up.

He stills plays in my world, and now has the terrible guilt (which I use to my advantage) about his poor, illegitimate child, who being raised by an evil mother, may come back to haunt old dad some day. He is actually an excellent character and is very clever when around those hearty fighters going out on the town.... you know the type. From a GMing perspective, I'd have to say, there's not much difference... it's all in how good a roleplayer they are!

--- Bertnof

Cassandra Gets A Friend ---

I now play a psionicist named Cassandra Wissenkunstler, raised from infancy as an orphan by a group of priestesses at a monastery devoted to Areya, goddess of Time and Prophecy. I put in her character background that this had caused her to be celibate so that none of the other players' characters (all male) would stand a chance of scoring with her, but last gaming session - well... I guess I'd better let her tell you.

Cassandra, a slim girl (5'5", 113# only 17), steps forward, seeming a little nervous. "I feel easier talking to a group of strangers about this, for I know not what my companions or my priestesses would say, and I fear what my goddess might do were she to discover what has happened.

"Two months ago, while taking a midday meal at the Blue Boar, a most interesting incident occurred. My server was Camillia, a most attractive girl [17 Comeliness], and while refilling my mug of ale, she chanced to spill some in my lap. She apologized profusely, and quickly began drying my robes with her cleaning rags. Her light touch, as she rubbed the cloth on my inner thighs, sparked a desire in me I have never known before; and when our eyes met I saw the same hunger in her. 'I would do anything to make it up to you,' Camillia whispered. I told her I would like her to make it up that night, and she suggested the residence of Lady Rebecca, where she lived.

"In the arms of Camillia and Lady Rebecca I learned what true pleasure is, and was taught how fingers, lips, and tongue might repay the pleasures I was given." She blushes and falls silent.

Well, since Cassandra can't finish, I'll do it for her. Suffice it to say that the rest of the guys in the gaming group were jealous as hell, but since everyone was on "solo" adventures for the night, none of the other characters found out about it for two full months of game time.

During that interval, Lady Rebecca began calling Cassandra "Clarissa," and my character learned from Camillia that this was actually Rebecca's daughter, whom the lady had hacked to pieces and buried under the cellar when she tried to flee her lesbian mother. Camillia had stayed on out of a combination of fear and love for the older woman, and due to Lady Rebecca's strong personality (save vs. charm with a +4 bonus). I also learned that Rebecca was something of a dominatrix, who routinely bound both Camillia and Cassandra in order to playfully whip them and "tease" them with leather-wrapped wooden, shall we say, "implements."

Finally we (the gaming group) were getting together to leave town on an adventure, except that Lady Rebecca didn't want her precious "new" Clarissa to leave her. I went ectoplasmic in the middle of the night (scared poor Camillia nearly to death) and got out, only to find the thief of the party coming to check up on me. I quickly covered myself by saying that I had been held captive by Rebecca (sure, with the ability to escape ectoplasmically?) and telling him of the implements of torture and the body under the house.

The thief and one of our fighters returned the next night in order to steal a couple of whips and "implements" as evidence against her, which my character then took to the guards, claiming to have escaped with them. When I told the guards of the body, they marched to the house, dug up the skeleton, and summarily executed Lady Rebecca for the crime of murder. Camillia was freed, for they determined that she had been virtually "enslaved" upon fear of her life, and possession of the house reverted to her.

Now she and my character are living there together (except when the group is adventuring), and the other characters in our group are trying hard to help me cope with the awful ordeal of extended captivity and rape I've had to endure (men, they'll believe anything a woman tells them while shaking with terror and crying big crocodile tears).

--- Kenneth Nuckols

SPECIAL THANKS

A.C. for his Seducer: Wizard Sub-class. Also, the following spells: Flash, Layla's Good Morning Kiss, Protection From Intoxication, Transfer Charm, Kiss of Intoxication, Stanza's Diseased Kiss, Angel's Negation, Layla's Morning After Kiss, Layla's Seductive Impersonation, Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity, Power Word, Strip, Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease, Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease, Layla's Beautification, Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss of Disease, Layla's Seductive Shapechange, Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair.

Adelheyde for his very intriguing Become Phantasmal Lover spell.

Annihilator, The Anti-Paladin, Demigod of Darkness, Centurion of Evil, and Arioch's Prince for his spell Annihilator's Penis of Power!.

Larry Barthel & his game group for being the first to send pages and pages of a great variety of ideas that were extremely useful in provoking creative elements to the guide. Also, Presto and Nyssa for their little story of an adventure that is used in this guide.

Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm and his wife for the addition of TTC in the rules. Suggestions for the spells Voyeur, Know Sexual Preference, Find Mate, Pillow Talk, and Engorge. Also, the listing of the spell Animal Magnetism. And sending the entire spell Summon Cissaldan. Plus, making the magic item section possible with ideas for the Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy, Ring Of The Bulls, Ring of Perversion (suggested ring of lust), Sheet of Useful Toys (suggested robe of useful things), Breast Plate +1, Perfume/Musk of Attraction, Figurine of the Willing WonTon, Wand of Vibration, Everful Baby Bottle, and Gem of the Vo Yure. Even more thanks for the first draft of the bitch rule which was made and used by his wife's chaotic mage Salina, and appears here do to her creativity. Plus, the background of Salina that appeared with The Bitch Rule. Also, the invention of experimental arrows which spawned the conversion to Cupid's arrows which ended up in their own section. Finally, he came up with all the spell ideas that appear in the "Spells for the Mother" section.

Wade for his humorous ideas in the spell section that added a little something. Plus, his tuna disease.

John "Nightwind" Boelter for informing me of overlooked flaws in the rules, suggestions for each part to make it mucho better, the first draft of the contracting disease system, and other very useful comments.

Bolt A.K.A. Drrainbo for his help in making the Gigolo Bard Sub-class.

Mario R. Borelli and one of his wonderful players for creating the following magic items: Boo-Hag Goggles, Earring(s) of Androgyny, Girdle of Speedy Gestation, Jackknife of Circumcision, Hourglass of Parietals, Philter of Love, Potion of Aphrodisia, Potion of Potency, Phylactery of Prophylactics, Ring of Sexuality Detection, Spectacles of Revealing. Also, his comrade and he created the following mage spells: Arousal, Wet Dream, Divine Sexual Orientation, Freudian Thoughts, Fyltar's Pheromonal Force, Masturbation, Reverse Sexual Orientation, Revulsion, Seduce Undead, Chastity, Constant Orgasm, Contraception, Homophobia, Neville's Wandering Hand, Pornographic Glamer, Sex Slave, Obsession, Prowess, Embarrassing Fetish, Reverse Gender Orientation, Conjure Succubus/Incubus, Prismatic Dildo, Impregnate. Furthermore, his comrade and he created the following cleric spells: Detect Venereal Disease, Divine Sexual Experience, Lactation, Repair Virginity, Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy. "On Sex And Sexuality In The Realms" section was contributed by him as well. Finally, he wrote the "A cleric's penance" story.

David Butler for his Wand of Pillows magic item.

Chopper for the following items: Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item, Basque of Transvestitism, Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment, Marishars Miraculous Bath House.

Brandon Cope for his remarks.

John Daniel the greatest article seeker, for sending via SnailMail an obscure article that appeared in The White Dwarf entitled The Houri Character Class from which I created the Houri Wizard Sub-class. Also from this article, I created or modified the following spells: Fascination, Impotence, Jealously, Lovesickness, Sex Change, Kiss of Sleep, Kiss of Death, Kiss of Weakness, Kiss of Slavery, Blown Kiss, Hearthbreaker (my personal favorite). Also, the Lipstick Of Irresistibility came from this source. Plus, he referred me to a Witch article where some very good spells were found which appear modified in this guide as Charm Man I and Seduction I, plus he made some good modifications to said spells. Furthermore, he is always making suggestions on various parts of the guide. A story by him appears in the story section of the guide. A small comment by him (Babies...what happens when all these adventurers have sex. What are the chances of conception per time?), which spawned the "Conception: What Are The Odds?" section of the guide. Plus, his paternity suit adventuring idea.

Dave, compiler of the Net Players Supplement (found on a FTP site somewhere on the net) from which was taken the spells Davenet's Seduction, Sexify/Enhance Comeliness, Slap, and Tweak/Goose which I slightly changed but they basically appear as originally created.

Brian D. for the 1st draft of the "Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids" section, which is a very useful additive to any campaign. Plus, the addition of the magic item Sword of Castration (suggested Sword Vorpal Weapon).

Roberto Nunes "The Ascetic" for the Psiducer: Psionicist sub-class, his Cindy Wind Rider NPCs and the following psionic powers: Know Sexual Preference, Sexual Pheromones Secretion, Mind Over Sexual Endurance, Contraception, Enhance Fertility, Export Disease, Willy's Expansion, and Conductive Kiss.

Roberto Di Meglio for his coitus interruptus rules that are in the "Wild-Thing Rules" section.

Vicki L. Domansky, a.k.a. Morgaine for her magic-item Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini.

Lisa Dusseault for her excellent work on the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome section.

Findel the Wonderer Ladies' Glass Ball magic-item.

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) pages L-1 and L-2 where the information for the "The House Of Ill Repute" section came from. Also, page L-3 where the information for the "Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)" section came from. Also, for Kuber Hasbin on page L-2. This item is not in print anymore so if you can find it somewhere then get it; its worth it.

Carlos Fernando for his magic-items Wand Of Love and Periapt Of Sexual Aides. The great contribution of the following sexual insanities: Coprophilia, Exhibitionism, Fetishism, Geroniophilla, Masochism, Pedophilia, Periculuphilia, Pigmalionism, Sadism, Uridpsomania, Voyeurism, and Zoophilia. Finally, the Sexual Tendency section.

Jason Golden for questioning the magical diseases and the multiple orgasm idea. Also, for requesting a system for contracting disease.

Jeff Gostin for his clever "Daddy's Little Girl" Syndrome.

James A. Hooper Penis of Astounding magic-item and the spells: Skank, Bigby's Bitch Slap.

Ronald "Greymoon" Jones for his Frictionless Sheets magic-item.

The Judges Guild Volume I (Copyrighted 1978 Judges Guild) pages 5-6 for game information on WOMEN. The inclination and vital statistic information found in the prostitute random generator was taken from here and modified slightly to fit into this guide.

Jim Katic for the section "On The Subject Of A Shape Changing Mother And Child" and for the section "Inter-Species Fertility".

David Kelman for his spell Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes.

Sven De Kerpel for his comments and additions on the prostitute section of the guide which resulted in seven major chances to the tables to make them more realistic and playable.

Steve Langton for the "Prostitutes are nasty" story in the story section.

Tim Larson for inspiring the Skilled Perversion NWP.

Lonadar the Wanderer bringing up the race question, commenting on a lot of the spells, adding the feather to the components of Leomund's Ting Brothel.

Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale of The Fellowship of the Flying Paladin for the Precise Constitution Points story. He created the A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs section and contributed "Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On" to it.

Andrew Lohmann for his Induce Pleasure Psionic Power.

Mark Manning for his Teeney-Weeny-Bikini magic item.

John M. Martz for his criticisms on the pregnancy rules and his clerical spells: Baltasar's Impediment, Fertility.

Mizar, the Brilliant for assinting in the creation of the section "The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got?"

Nige for his Sexual Phobia insanity.

Hugo M. Nijhof who made a list of spells from which I took and modified the spells Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss and Vampiric Kiss.

Kenneth Nuckols for his "Cassandra Gets A Friend" story in the story section.

The Anti-Paladin, Nomed the Accursed for his abyss level in the section An Abyss Level.

Nosferatu for The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only.

Mike Parasich for the spells Cure Soreness, Enchant Condom, Delay Orgasm, Deep Throat, Power Word: Disrobe; all of which were mentioned.

The Phantom for the Alternative Sexist Height & Weight rule in the baby section.

Arron Sher, compiler of The NET.PLOTS.BOOK from which the vampire adventuring idea came from.

Sir Gregor creator of The Bobitt Maneuver.

Scott Spetalnik for seeing that a bell curve wasn't used with the ability scores.

Matt Sullivan for his humble comments and recommendations that inspired a few modifications to the rules. For the first draft of "Seduction: More Than Reaction Roles" section, which was very creative.

Tony for the in the Homosexual Plots section: Evil of Homosexuality.

Train, GM for the following ideas in the Homosexual Plots section: The Gay Man and the Jealous Wife; Saying No; Land of Fairies, Literally; and Reverse Rape.

Mark H. Vest for his magical item the Girdle of Hippolyte.

Vinnie & Rahasia Mage Priestess of Ishtar The Priestess of Love for ReErection spell idea and suggesting a spell that simulates the Nereid's kiss. For keeping them comments coming on everything I needed help on. Plus, he suggested wisdom modifiers for the Houri seduction rules which were implemented. For additions to the sexual knowledge skill. For the "Adventuring Idea" section and three ideas (Love Boat, Dog Man Needs A Date, Twins) that appear there. For the idea and suggestions for Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love which appears in the magic-items section.

Owen Winkler for a first draft of the impotence spell that I used.

Xandar for his story "A Barbarian's Boo-Boo" in the story section of the guide.

Following a strange and perverse discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the section "Protection of the Worst Kind (for the Male)" was created based on the following persons' comments: Rod and Kenneth Nuckols.

Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the section "Has Anyone Played a Homosexual Character?" was created based on the following persons' comments: Andy Trembley, Geoffrey Wyen, Akira, Scott Spetalnik, Gyorgy Schadt, Russ Fontaine, Andrew Hackard.

Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the section "ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC?" was created based on the following persons' comments: Felix Leadfingers, Kalindra Nightstalker aka Michelle Carter, and Paul .

After the first release of the guide, I recieved a message from Rob:

What would pregnancy do to a theif's skills? What about a mage or bard? We

decided that there was no good set rule but that they would be greatly

affected.

This led to a large conversation on the a RPG about pregnancy. The main contibution to the conversation was Vicki L. Domansky, Morgaine. Some major comments, suggestions, and ideas came from John M. Martz. John "Nightwind" Boelter made some great comments, suggestions, and ideas as well as Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm and his wife. Others were: Bob Smith, Paul Duggan, Paul J. Cummings, Joe, Lord Baylor Ironsbane, Brian David Phillips, Philippe Goujard the FAQ Dude.

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THE INTERNET CONTROVERSY OF THE GUIDE

Upon the first completion of this guide (06/01/92), it was offered to members of a various RPG lists that are found on the INTERNET. Over 50 people responded and received the guide. Some people disliked the guide and stated their opinions on the discussion list, and others rebutted their complaints. Below is the argument that took place.

COMMENT

I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating these insane articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've tolerated a lot of crazy things on this list and mostly just delete them if I don't want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it without trying to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and crazy I can't stand it. I don't want to have to 'delete' it... I mean lets take a closer look at this for a second. First off I'm sure many of you have had those silly encounters where your group felt like being goofy and some characters had sex, and perhaps some of you have had serious encounters about this sort of thing to go along with the story of the campaign. But... I think it's really ridiculous that someone might think we could use a guide on how to role-play sex. Granted sex is very important... but God man... we don't need freaking articles on 'how to do it' because if we don't know already we have no business 'doing it' in the first place.... game or otherwise. I've been playing for several years... and I've encountered stories and spot adventures of sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like THIS in all 10 years of playing until I kept seeing articles like this last one. Now maybe some of you out their have a different opinion... if so... lets hear it... I'd like to know WHY we should have guides on HOW to have SEX in RPGs because I think they are personally a waste of space and just tell me how much time that person had free on his hands to write such a ridiculous article in the first place.

Thank you for your time.

--- Your friendly neighborhood Anti-Paladin

Nomed 'the Accursed'

COMMENT

I have taken the time to read the aforementioned Guide to RPG sex. It is your game, play it the way you want to. If you have fun with it, then more power to you. I find the whole thing infantile and lacking any merit whatsoever. The whole sophomoric tone led to initially believe it was a joke. Perhaps it still is.

Ristonofer

On high ground, donning the asbestos.

COMMENT

Come on now, the author of the sex guide was making an attempt at adding something to the game and all of a sudden, out of the woodwork, comes friggin' Siskel and Ebert of literature. Give the guy a break. I haven't completely finished reading the "guide" but come now. People have the right to compile what they like. Ristanofer (sp?): is it truly infantile to experiment?? I see nothing very wrong with it. I think that we should give the guy a break. From what I read, he isn't the only one who helped compile it. There are many others. Are you and the lady (*I'm sorry but I forgot her logo*) going to hunt all of these people down and flame them?? I think not. I think that the best thing y'all can do is mellow out and let someone hang themselves with the newly created length of rope, and if they do not, well, wish them luck.

P.S. that was IMHO, of course. And if you must, flames are welcome.

P.P.S. but I prefer not to see any.

DeathWish

COMMENT

I must agree with Deathwish about the sex guide. This discussion list is a forum for presenting ideas. Not those ideas that are good or those ideas that are bad but all ideas. What may be junk to one person may be a gold mine to another.

I can see nothing wrong with offering the guide to the net on the chance that someone may feel it is useful. Obviously someone felt so or the author would not have had all the collaboration on the project from fellow list members.

If you have a problem with someone's work send them private e-mail before flaming them before the list.

IMHO.

Greg Dillingham

COMMENT

I, too, have read the guide. I find it humorous, but of the "Did you hear the joke about the girl with HUGE ...", etc.. It's REALLY infantile (although most of the jokes that truly make me laugh are as well) and I think you're either going to hate it or love it. Me, I'm afraid I hate it. Well done, but I think the original idea was... (I'm gonna duck the flame after this) lame.

Yers,

Greg (Malek)

COMMENT

As one of the people who made some (minimal) contributions to the guide, I must say the following. While you may not like some parts of the guide, find them infantile, etc., I am sure that there is something in there for every GM. Even if you do not like 99% of it, that last 1% is going to be something that will make your eyes light up, and start the wheels of your mind turning. Read it before passing judgement. 'Nuff Said on the subject....happy dice rolling.

COMMENT

Well I should say read the guide or give it at least a good look before you start saying things like that! It's not just to tell ya how to do the thing but it's to add more flavor and much more fun on this subject. Yes you should really give it a look. It's full of really nice/funny/wonderful/weird ideas. The developers where all very surprised of what became of the Guide and I Think many of you will also be very surprised if you take a look!

Don't think that because it's related to this subject called Sex that it's bad stupid or useless. It certainly ain't an 'Escape from Reality' (or whatever you wanna call it) to have some fake Sex! (...because you don't get enough in your own life.....aahhhwww What a pitty....Oooppss I'm sorry) I really wouldn't wanna trade places with the PC's who were gonna be involved with those rules. Yeah take a look at those real nasty diseases and neat Kiss Spells! You certainly don't wanna be subject of most of those!!! The Guide is there just to add more Fun and fresh ideas to this wonderful game.

I have to admit that I first thought it was a stupid idea too but then I saw some nice ideas and joined the developers in making it a nice ***FREE*** good developed product!

Vinnie

Okay I'll now put on my Protection from fire again and wield my Frostbrand so come-on with those Flame Throwers! But Don't try to barbecue me when you didn't gave a good look at the Guide! First look & read before you start Flaming the Thing (yeah You can't start a fire on something if you do not really know what it is! It could be either Alcohol or Water! he he :) And I guess you don't wanna waste your flamethrower on the water!

COMMENT

Valiant Comrades,

Regarding the uproar about the Sex Guide, I agree with the supporters, and to the critics I have to say LIGHTEN UP! If you don't like the principal of the guide, then simply refrain from using it. Even the Dungeon Master's Guide isn't written in stone.

Besides, there is some useful stuff in there. Any GM who can't find creative uses for an Houri NPC should have his proverbial licence revoked.

And, no matter how you view an RPG, it is still ONLY A GAME. If someone takes offence to the principal or content therein, perhaps a different hobby is in order.

Hall-ee-mor Dargess

COMMENT

How come I never got a copy of the sex guide? I asked for one. Can someone send me a copy please. Sure, it may seem a little silly or stupid, but it can't hurt. I'll read it then decide if I want to use it. There's probably something in it for everybody. What ever happened to free expression? Some people are so oppressive!

Austin Repath

COMMENT

MiXeD iN tHe hEaD

I believe it!

> I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating these insane

> articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've tolerated a want to read them

> (and sometimes post a message about it without trying to flame anyone). This

> however is just to dumb and crazy I can't stand it.

You "can't stand it" ?!? You have some personal problem with other people's creativity? You may not share others sense of humor and they may not respect your morals, but this is a public access list. You seem to indicate it should be censored! Now step back and realize that other people, myself included, are mature enough to moderate 'use of sex' in our own games. Some of these articles have had some good ideas, while all of them at the very least are intended to be taken light- heartedly. So have fun with it, or just ignore it.

> adventures of sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like THIS in all 10

> years of playing until I kept seeing articles like this last...

I dunno who you've been gaming with... But the college students I have played with have done much "worse" than this list's "Guide to Sex." Of course like any other "rules for RPGs" the sex stuff is just a tool. Suggestions...and most of all a good laugh from some creative gamers who defiantly have a grip on the real world.

Think about sex-education through role-playing games :) One must learn that if his promiscuous paladin doesn't wear his "ring of protection" (and I don't mean the one on worn on the hands...) that he may pick up some nasty effects, possibly magical! Eeeooch!

With the slightest bow and tip of his hat,

the Rogue steps back into the night...

COMMENT

You guys need to grow the fuck up. Go out and buy a Hustler or two and figure out what you really should play with, besides yourselves. Notice "elves" in there! *** CENSORED ***

Taipan The Tampon

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This document has been edited for legibility purposes by

OLIK / Ole A. Ringdal

olear@online.no / http://home.sol.no/olear / http://lstud.ii.uib.no/~s734